Elee and Misha run around unsupervised. It goes poorly.
Listen as they:
ERR on the side of danger!
CRUSH their enemies!
RAISE Hell!
Content Warning: Suffocation, implied graphic violence
TRANSCRIPT (Downloadable Version):
Previously, on Quest Friends…
[Opening theme, “Friends” by Miracle of Sound, begins.]
Tom (as Xoc)
I suppose I don’t have any other choice but to go see, see this, this doctor.
Kyle (as Queen Armalu)
He is a traitor, and a thief, and a murderer! And I see so much of him in you now.
Kyle (as Mauve)
Now you all met Everett. He’s abrasive but very talented.
Ari
Okay -
Emily
[Laughter.]
Ari
Then I want to toss Everett to Fancy Tom so that he –
Ari and Emily
[Laughter.]
Tom
Oh no!
Emily
[Laughter.]
Kyle
And you fall down, ten feet, twenty feet, thirty feet, forty feet, fifty feet, sixty feet. You don’t really hear anything except for the loud ticking of the insides of a clock.
[Opening theme intensifies.]
Kyle
Elee always figured she’d go out falling down a fiery pit. But today’s experience wasn’t quite what she expected.
Kyle
In those few moments after the pit opened, and you fell towards your long-avoided death, Elee – you remember the candles on your head shining brighter than they ever did before. A religious woman would call this the work of spirits. A pragmatic woman would call this the work of some random gases and chemicals getting lit by your candles and turning you into a grandma-sized fireball so hot it tore through grating and punched a hole through multiple layers of metal. You were too quickly knocked out to be either of these.
And so, time passes for a little bit. But after a moment, you wake up and you find yourself laying on a bed of glossy metal. Uh, there’s not much light, but there is a lot of sound. The air is filled with the massive churning sound of hundreds of ancient gears pushing each other forward, despite age and friction begging them to stop. And as you get up and look around, you do see Misha laying a few feet away from you – seemingly unconscious, but in kind of one of those stock “T” poses you see in animation; where they’re just standing perfectly upright and their arms are splayed out so they look like a “T” and they’re just lying on the ground like that.
Emily (as Elee)
...Ow.
Emily
I’m going to go over and kind of nudge Misha with my foot a little bit.
Emily (as Elee)
[Hesitantly.] You, uh, you a-a-aliiive?
Kyle
There is no response from Misha.
Emily
Elee sighs and hoists Misha over her shoulder.
Kyle
And, uh, you just take a look around?
Emily
Yeah.
Kyle
Alright, so -
[Mystical, echoing music plays.]
Kyle
-with this, uh, android hoisted over your shoulder, uh, you take a look around and you notice that while the platform you are standing on is still, it’s connected to a series of 5- to 20-foot wide glossy cog wheels moving at multiple orientations and speeds. In fact, these clockwork components stretch as far as you can see. On and in between many of them is rough scaffolding made of a common metal. Bridges, ladders, ropes and even some additional wheels are made out of the substance. The only light in this place comes from harsh blue beams emanating from crevices that flow like veins to a central tower. This tower is comprised of massive cog wheels that rotate in alternating directions. And it seems almost to be beating like a massive heart. It’s surreal, and nothing like what you’ve ever seen.
[Music stops.]
Kyle
But there is something that you have seen – at least a couple of times. Because as you’re looking around, you hear a small “yelp!” and you turn over and you see someone in a trench coat entirely too small for them, and with an exclamation point rising above their head, stumbling on one of these vertically-rotating cog wheels before, as I said, letting out a small “yelp” and falling flat out on his ass a few cog wheels away from you.
Emily (as Elee)
[Suffering sigh followed by pained laughter.] It’s...Everett, right?
Kyle (as Everett)
You saw nothing! No one was here, I am like the shadows.
Kyle
And you see, uh, the trench coat rise up, as the figure just flumps to the ground and tries to hide themselves.
Emily (as Elee)
Everett, you’re not the shadows.
Kyle
Uh, the voice which is about twenty feet away yells:
Kyle (as Everett)
I can’t see you, so you can’t see me!
Emily (as Elee)
God, Everett! I can see you. Like, you’re - you’re there – I can see you.
Kyle
The, uh, mound does not respond; and instead starts shuffling-
Emily
[Laughter.]
Kyle
-a few feet away from you.
Emily
I’m going to go and grab him by his trench coat collar and stand him up.
Kyle (as Everett)
[Shrieks.] Ah!
Kyle
Yeah, so you walk up these rotating cog wheels like stepping stones, and pick up this trenchcoated figure, who is in fact - yes, Everett, man of a thousand voices.
Kyle (as Everett)
Alright no, I’m sorry! I’m sorry I let you die, I didn’t want to let you die!
Emily (as Elee)
I -- you know I’m not dead…?
Kyle
He looks at you dead in the eyes.
Kyle (as Everett)
That’s exactly what a ghost would say.
Kyle
And he, uh, squirrels out of his trench coat, revealing a tank top with the name of some band and starts, uh, shuffling backwards.
Kyle (as Everett)
[Panting.]
Emily (as Elee)
Everett, why are you here?
[5:00.]
Kyle
He brushes his hair to the side.
Kyle (as Everett)
Well, I’m, uh, on a, uh, on a top-secret mission, but I shouldn’t tell you more about that – ghost!
Emily (as Elee)
[Deadpan.] Are you going to rescue Mako?
Kyle (as Everett)
[Defeated.] Yeah, yeah. You, uh, promise you’re not a ghost?
Emily (as Elee)
[Exasperated.] I promise I’m not a ghost, Everett.
Kyle
His eyes squint for a second, and -
Emily
Are you really going to make me roll to convince him that I am not a ghost?
Kyle
[Laughter.] I mean he’s very, he’s very ignorant.
Emily
Okay, I want to smack him up side of the head, not enough to like knock him out, or-
Kyle (as Everett)
Ow!
Emily (as Elee)
Does this feel like a ghost to you, Everett?
Kyle (as Everett)
No, no.
Emily (as Elee)
Can we go now?
Kyle (as Everett)
[Sighs.] Okay.
Kyle
He, uh, points to Misha.
Kyle (as Everett)
But what’s going on with them?
Emily (as Elee)
You know, to be honest, I’m -- I just woke up and they were laying there, and they’re an android so I’m assuming they’re not dead. But they are dead weight. I’m just going dragging them around.
Kyle
So, he walks around, and he starts examining Misha from, uh, who is hanging over your shoulder. And he says,
Kyle (as Everett)
Well I mean, with my band – my third one, not, not the second, or fourth, or first one – I saw this, uh, a couple of times.
Kyle
And he motions for you to lay Misha down.
Emily
I flop them down as gently as possible. I am generally not gentle at all.
Kyle
Okay, Misha, I want you, uh, to take one point of damage before armor for Elee flopping you down as gently as she can.
Emily
I’m sorry!
Kyle
You have one armor though, so you don’t take any damage. So, Everett is going to look over Misha a little bit and start saying,
Kyle (as Everett)
Yeah, yeah – this looks exactly like what I’ve seen before.
Kyle
And as he’s like getting ready to do something he turns over, uh, to you, Elee, and says,
Kyle (as Everett)
Okay, so uh, so I haven’t done this in a while, but I think I know how to solve this.
Kyle
And he looks up, and he looks down, and he looks square at Misha’s chest, and he brings it down as hard as his bony little arms can bring it down and slams into Misha’s chest.
[Robotic synth music plays.]
Kyle
And Misha - with a start - your torso just moves up ninety degrees, and your eyes open up. And as you wake up, a series of text runs past your eyes like when a computer is booting up. For the most part, it’s normal white text, but occasionally red error messages will pop up saying things like, “system not found”, “disconnected from network”, “suffocating”, “please listen”, “need you”, and of course: “error”.
And while this is happening, your eye turns an unbelievably strong red before starting to flicker. Now Misha’s an android and wouldn’t know what suffocation feels like.
[Robotic synth music intensifies.]
Kyle
But what they are feeling is absolutely what human beings would call drowning.
Ari
Oh God. Well, Misha is going to make gasping sounds and just start being like:
Ari (as Misha)
[Ascending Robotic Voice.] Help, help, help!
Emily (as Elee)
Everett, what did you – you didn’t hit -- you didn’t hit them that hard!
Kyle (as Everett)
Listen, I don’t, um - I must go find assistance.
Kyle
And he shuffles behind his coat and he plops to the ground again and hides.
Emily (as Elee)
For Pete’s sake Everett, I can still see you.
Kyle (as Everett)
No, you can’t!
Emily (as Elee)
Misha, are you al- you don’t look alright -
Kyle
Yes, yes – drowning person [Laughter.] [Sarcasm.] – are you doing okay?
Ari
Misha is going to have to have his, their hands near their chest. Like I say, if a human was drowning, they would instantly put their hands there, so, that’s what Misha is trying to do.
Emily
[Stressed laughter.] Can I, can I roll to see if I can help them?
Kyle
Doing what?!
Emily
I don’t know!
Kyle
It’s a role-playing game!
Emily
I don’t know what to do!
Kyle
Okay, but you can roll a history and see if there’s something you recognize.
Emily
Okay.
[Dice rolling in background.]
Emily
Oh!
Kyle
Nineteen. So, you remember a time long, long ago -
Ari
In a galaxy far, far away?
All
[Laughter.]
Kyle
No, you have, you have a memory of Karl. One time, when Karl just had way too big of a piece of bread. And he just started gagging and choking, and you thought it was him trying out some sort of new singing technique, so he did almost die. Uh, but eventually you realized that he was choking and you gave him the “Xiemlich” Maneuver, created by Franklin Xiemlich (which is just the Heimlich Maneuver).
Emily
[Stuttering.] I-I-I want to do the Heim -- the Xie- Xiem- Xiemlich?
Kyle
The Xiemlich Maneuver
Emily
Xiem-, I am going to do the Xiemlich Maneuver [Laughter.] on...this...robot.
Kyle
Um…
Ari
Will that even work?
Emily
[Laughter.]
Kyle
You go behind…
Emily
Probably not.
Kyle
You push on Misha’s side and as you pull in, you hear a “crack” and a “thud” -
Emily
[Faintly.] Sorry!
Kyle
-as something breaks inside of Misha.
Ari
Shit.
Kyle
Uh, and the text moves faster and faster and faster.
Ari
Oh fuck.
Kyle
And your eyes just start flashing, “error, error, error, error”. And then the red light turns off, and you’re catching your breath again and you’re -- you’re able to, to look around.
Ari
Okay.
Kyle
It seems that what Elee did to you, it kind of broke the, uh, the robot equivalent of an appendix.
[10:00.]
Ari
Oh my God.
Kyle
The appendix is the one that doesn’t matter, right?
Ari
Yeah, it’s the one that only ruptures.
Emily
Unless you like - rupture it!
Kyle
Yeah, so –
Ari and Emily
[Laughter.]
Kyle
Well it’s, it’s different. When it ruptures inside robots, it’s okay.
Emily
[Laughter.] Okay.
Kyle
Trust me, I -- I’m God. So it’s, it’s like that, it’s not going to affect you at all.
Ari
Okay.
Kyle
But you’re still aren’t one hundred percent. Everything feels kind of foggy.
Ari
Mm-hmm.
Kyle
It’s like you’re having to kind of breathe through a straw to get information.
Ari
Okay.
Kyle
And so all esoteries or spells you do are going to cost twice as much intellect, with the exception of your kazoo.
Ari
[Laughter.] Alright.
Kyle
And I’m going to give you an experience point for that GM intrusion. So, who are you going to give that other point to?
Ari
Elee! [Laughter.] I mean -
Kyle
[Sarcasm.] Are you sure? Everett was very helpful.
Ari
[Laughter.] I don’t think I can give –
Emily
Don’t you dare pick Everett over me.
Kyle
So as, as you get your bearings Misha, I have one more thing for you.
Ari
Yes?
Kyle
You look around, right? And you are able to take in, uh, everything that Elee took in.
Ari
Mmm-hmm.
Kyle
Just like with Elee, it’s very surreal. But for Elee, it was surreal because it was nothing like Elee’s ever seen. For you, Misha, it’s the only thing you’ve ever seen.
Ari
Oh, what?
Kyle
Because you realize, Misha, that you don’t remember where you are.
Ari
Oh my God.
Kyle
You don’t remember why you’re here.
Ari
Oh, no. [Laughter.] Oh -
Kyle
You don’t remember anything.
Ari
It happened again! No, ohhh! Why? Ohhh!
All
[Laughter.]
Ari
God, fine.
Emily
[Laughter.]
Ari
Alright, alright. I have to adapt to this new situation…um.
Kyle
[Laughter.]
Ari
So, Misha is just going to look around, and they are going to start grabbing really slowly the – whatever is – like, if we fell inside the pit, is there still trash within us? Like near us?
Kyle
There is not trash near you, uh, mostly because you didn’t fall where all the trash is.
Ari
Okay.
Kyle
Essentially, Elee became an impromptu fireball -
Ari
Okay.
Kyle
That burned a hole that both of you fell in. So, you’re far away from where all the trash was.
Ari
Okay, ‘cause I was--well, uh, then they are just going to run their hand throughout the surroundings. Like if there is any wall, they’re going to like, like walk around the perimeter of the room, or whatever we are - looking kind of dazingly at it and kind of walking -
Kyle
[Laughter.]
Ari
-really slowly like they are, they don’t really know what they are doing there. They are not noticing Elee at this moment. They are just going to be doing that.
Kyle
And to justify, essentially what you’re in is, you’re inside essentially a giant clock.
Ari
Oh, yeah.
Kyle
So, there are cog wheels everywhere.
Ari
Right, so they are going to be touching the cog wheels and walking around that.
Kyle
Okay. Everett is going to peek out from beneath his, his cloak.
Kyle (as Everett)
[Whispering.] Did you fix it?
Emily
Elee is going to ignore him and move a little closer to Misha.
Emily (as Elee)
You uh, you okay kid? - Did I break you?
Ari
Misha is not going to, it’s not going to react to that. Just going to still be looking at things.
Emily (as Elee)
Kid?
Ari
Misha is kind of going to be startled a little bit, as if like they are just realizing that like there is a sound coming nearby, but they are not going to turn around still.
Emily (as Elee)
[Yelling.] Misha! Misha Jarvis!
Ari (as Misha)
I believe that is my nomenclature, yes. My nomenclature is “Machine In Suit of Human Armor Just a Rather Very Intelligent System.” So, is -- are you the source, you are the source of my, of my nomenclature, right?
Emily (as Elee)
[Slowly.] No, you - you told me your name when we met – you know,
Emily
[Whispering to Kyle.] How, how long ago was it?
Kyle
It was like a week.
Emily (as Elee)
A week ago – you know? Remember? “Misha Jarvis at your service?”
Ari (as Misha)
I…I… did? I, I what, what are you? Not who are you, but what are you?
Emily (as Elee)
[Laughter.] ‘S a real good question.
All
[Laughter.]
Kyle
[Laughter.] Ah, Misha, instinctively your scan ability pops up.
Ari
Okay.
Kyle
And, uh, it starts to draw a line around Elee and starts to pull information. And you get the name “Elee B”, but then after that the text starts to, to crackle a little bit, and, and when it says you know it starts to be like “attributes”, “alignments”, uh, “species”. It all kind of becomes garbled, uh, text.
Ari
Okay.
Kyle
With the exception of “alignment”, which is “???”, which is absolutely correct.
Ari
[Laughter.] Okay.
Kyle
But everything else becomes garbled text before the scan starts to peter out and disappear.
Ari
So, Misha is going to look at Elee and be like:
Ari (as Misha)
You -- you are an Eleeb. Nice to meet you, Eleeb. Eleeb, do you know -
Kyle
[Laughter.]
Ari (as Misha)
-what this place -
Kyle
[Laughing harder.]
Ari (as Misha)
-is?
All
[Laughter.]
Emily
Elee’s just going to ignore the name. That’s one of the nicer names she has been referred to as, and pat Misha on the shoulder a little bit.
[15:00.]
Emily (as Elee)
Well it’s, uh, it’s under a trash pit and I thought it might be hell, but it’s not, um -
Kyle (as Everett)
It’s a prison.
Kyle
And you see Everett, who has gone up and is perched at the end of the clock on the cog wheel. And he turns over and says,
Kyle (as Everett)
But not a metaphorical prison, like most things. It’s not a metaphorical prison like university, or work, or parents –
Emily (as Elee)
Everett--
Kyle (as Everett)
it’s an actual real prison.
Ari
Misha is going to notice Everett, and they are going to be like:
Ari (as Misha)
Uh, I do apologize, I believe I have been before, even though I cannot access what I have been before this moment. I see that you are similar to Eleeb, except not the same height as Eleeb. Have you met Eleeb? Are you related to Eleeb? Have you been in this prison with Eleeb and me long?
Kyle (as Everett)
[Scoffs.] I’m an individual.
Emily (as Elee)
[Warningly.] Everett.
Ari (as Misha)
Salutations, An Individual.
Ari (as Misha)
My name is…
All
[Laughter.]
Ari (as Misha)
Machine Institute in Human Armor. Just a Rather Intelligent System.
Emily
[Laughing.] Ari, you’re so wonderful.
Kyle
Ahh, and he looks at Elee like ‘what the fuck is going on?’
Emily
Elee’s -
Kyle (as Everett)
What the fuck?
Emily
Elee looks back with the same sort of look, in addition to kind of a reprimanding ‘I don’t know either’.
Emily (as Elee)
Misha --
Ari (as Misha)
That is a name I seem to recognize myself as.
Emily (as Elee)
Great start. Um, we’re in a bit of a time crunch.
Ari (as Misha)
Time...crunches? I did not know - I thought time was linear, but could not crunch. It seems an innate thing I know.
Emily (as Elee)
So, we are in a rush.
Ari (as Misha)
Uh, this place is a rush.
Emily
Elee really thought that she was -
Ari
[Laughter.]
Emily
-choosing her words very carefully. [Laughter.] But realizes that she is not, apparently.
Emily (as Elee)
[Slowly and deliberately.] We’re going to go get a man out of his jail cell – of a literal prison. And Everett is going to tell us where to go. [Threateningly.] Aren’t you, Everett?
Kyle
He looks at you, looks at Misha, flashes back to when Misha was, uh, was fully there and threw him into a lake.
Ari
[Laughter.]
Kyle
And with fear in his soul, just says,
Kyle (as Everett)
Yep, that’s what I’m going to do. But I’m not doing it for you, alright? I’m doing it for my partner.
Ari
I want to Datasphere search what a “man” is.
Kyle
[Laughter.] [Sarcasm.] Uh, a miserable pile of secrets! [Shushing noise.]
All
[Laughter.]
Kyle
Okay, yeah you can scan it, it will cost you twice as much.
Ari
Alright.
Kyle
Uh, what do you, what words are you, uh, Googling?
Ari
“Man in prison cell”. No actually just, actually just “man”. What is “man”?
Kyle
Yeah you get, a uh, a couple of things. You get like a treatise on what it means to be a man;
Ari
[Laughter.]
Kyle
-you get something from, from billions and billions – from a billion years ago – uh, you get some like forum post talking about what it’s like to be a ‘real man’-
Ari
Perfect.
Kyle
-and colored pills or something like that.
Ari
Do, do I get results on the song “Be a Man” from Mulan?
Kyle
Yes, you absolutely - because “Be a Man” survives every world, a variation of that song exists. And it somehow keeps getting better every time.
Ari
Perfect, as it should be.
Kyle
Uh, but the last thing you get is you do get, because you know sometimes you type in the Google and it’ll show you like an image or two? You get a couple of figures of, uh, of essentially, what human beings look like, covering you know, the whole gender spectrum.
Ari
Sounds great.
Kyle
Uh, it is still a bit crackly and the images are grainy. You know how sometimes you click on Google Images and it shows like the picture before it’s completely buffered in?
Ari
Eh, yeah.
Kyle
Yeah that’s what it looks like. So, you still get a pretty good idea, it’s just not crystal clear like it normally is.
Ari
What I picture is, is like Doki Doki images post second act, with like…
Kyle
[Laughter.]
Ari
-glitches at random times.
All
[Laughter.]
Emily
Oh no!
Kyle
If you like Quest Friends, you’ll love Doki Doki Literature Club!
Emily
Don’t tell them that.
Ari
I did a thumbs up, but my camera-
Kyle
[Laughter.]
Ari
-my camera is not on, so it doesn’t matter.
Kyle
Also it’s a podcast...
Ari
[Laughter.] That too.
All
[Laughter.]
Kyle
So, if you don’t have anything else to do, Everett is going to call you over.
Ari
Okay.
Kyle
He’s leaning on the edge of the cog wheel looking down and pointing at something. But then he looks distressed, because the, uh, cog wheel is maintaining to rotate, so his finger keeps pointing in a different direction. So, then he run back, runs back in the center and points at it again and starts rotating.
Ari
Oh my God.
Kyle
And then eventually, he sighs, and runs to the other side of the cog wheel and just waits until the moment when it lines up with what he wants to point at. And he points down, and says:
Kyle (as Everett)
It’s there.
Ari
I am having flashbacks to Nancy Drew puzzles right now.
[19:55.]
Kyle
[Laughter.]
[Sneaky, beat-heavy heist music begins.]
Kyle
And what you see is a short distance diagonally below you – so kind of front, kind of down – is a forty-foot wide cog wheel that’s very different from the rest. So, the rest are on -- are big, you know, honking, five- to ten-feet thick glassy metal. But this one seems disconnected from the other wheels; instead propped up by an axel on its center. And instead of pointing outwards, its gears point inward, rotating a series of much smaller vertical wheels beneath it. These cog wheels have their centers filled with a glassy substance, and they all have names written - I would say on their top, but really kind of all over them, because they do rotate - but you are far enough way that you can’t really read them.
The whole structure of this massive, uh, cog wheel is comprised out of a grated walkway material complete with hand railings. It’s segmented in the middle by an actual walkway that extends to that center axel that’s holding the whole structure up. Presumably, that axel is how you also get down to a platform connected to the smaller wheels.
So, that was the elegant way of saying it, the simple way of saying it is you’ve got a rotating donut-shaped walkway that stands above a platform and that platform, uh, beneath it is surrounded by vertically-oriented cog wheels that all have names written on them.
[Heisting music ends.]
Kyle
Two scientists stand on the walkway. One is walking around, just kind of looking at everything while the other is leaning over and looking down at the vertical wheels taking notes on a notepad.
Kyle (as Everett)
That’s where he is. That’s where the man we need to rescue is. So what we need to do is we need to get down there, we need to take everyone out, and we need to give Mr. Mako this.
Kyle
And he, um, he pulls out a little hexagonal thing about the size of his hand. Just like a metal kind of object, you know it’s mostly flat, but it’s got a hexagon. And in the middle, there’s this like glassy bump with a red gem inside of it – which Elee would presume is the hematium. Have either of you played the game “Sorry!”?
Ari
Yeah.
Emily
Oh, with the button?
Kyle
You know that thing you press in the center to move the dice?
Ari
Mm-hmm.
Kyle
Imagine that, but a lot, lot, lot, smaller. Uh, and he kind of pulls down and says:
Kyle (as Everett)
And we have to give this to Mr. Mako. And then -
Kyle
He tries to put on a cool smirk – it doesn’t work.
Kyle (as Everett)
…we raise hell.
Emily (as Elee)
That’s nice.
Kyle
And then he goes to fist bump Elee, who he remembers mentioned Hell earlier.
Emily
Elee is going to be a little further away [Laughter.] and then clench her fist and let the claws come out.
Ari
[Laughter.]
Kyle (as Everett)
[Shrieks.] Um…
Emily (as Elee)
Don’t tell me about raising Hell.
Kyle (as Everett)
I, uh… I was also given a, a couple of other supplies that I thought might be helpful, I got out of the bag.
Kyle
And he reaches into, uh, his pockets. And he pulls out two things. And I want each of you to roll a D12.
Ari
Oh. Alright. That’s… Shaking things up from the beginning. Where is a D12?
Kyle
[Laughter.]
Ari
Uh, I think this is uh – this is a D20 – hang on. I have a D12 somewhere in my, in my life. Oh! I found it!
[Dice rolling in background.]
Ari
Five!
Kyle
Elee, you rolled a two, and you rolled a five. So, I’m going to reference my “random cypher” sheet.
Ari
Oh!
Emily
Yay! I’m going to have two cyphers.
Kyle
So, he gives Elee - Elee, you get a sphere on a string that extends up to sixty-feet and then returns to the user. The sphere is very sticky. And Misha, you get a wheel that won’t stop spinning, regardless of how much pressure is applied to it.
Ari
[Pleased.] Oh. Misha is just going to stare at that thing. [Laughter.]
Kyle
[Sarcasm.] Alright, that’s the session, we’re done!
All
[Laughter.]
Kyle
Misha sits here for eternity- and you noted what you got, Elee?
Emily
Yes.
Kyle
Okay.
Emily
I got a, a sticky yo-yo.
Kyle
Okay. So, what are you going to do?
Emily
Elee’s going to take charge because right now she’s not got a lot of faith in Misha’s planning ability. [Laughter.]
Ari
Misha is still walking around still touching the walls [Laughter.] of the cogs or whatever we are.
Kyle
I don’t know what you guys are talking about, Misha doesn’t know the past, so they can only think of the future!
Emily
Misha doesn’t know what scientists are, or prisons, does not know who we’re looking for.
Ari
Misha is just really interested in that highly-spinning wheel -
Kyle
[Laughter.]
Ari
-- and the magical property that it possesses. How long has it been doing that exactly? [Laughter.]
Kyle
Elee, you are in charge.
Emily
Great.
Kyle
Uh, you are the woman with a plan.
Emily
[Laughter.] But I don’t have a plan yet! Um - see, the thing is Elee is not a woman of plans, she is a woman of action. So, they’re below us, right?
Kyle
Uh, yeah, kind of diagonally below you. So, like if you want to put feet to it, maybe fifteen feet forward and then like twenty-five feet down.
Emily
[Laughter.] So how high would I have to roll to make a jump?
Kyle
Um - [Thoughtful tongue clicking.] you could try it? You could try it. You could try it!
Ari
You could try everything, as the Zootopia song would say.
Kyle
[Shushing.] It’s true though, you can.
Emily
I want to roll.
Emily (as Elee)
[Yelling.] Follow me!
Kyle
Okay, Elee is going to go make a jump.
Emily
And I want to spend a point of effort.
Kyle
Spend a point of effort? Alright, that’s going to be - I’m going to say that’s might effort.
Emily
Might effort?
Kyle
Because you are jumping.
Emily
Okay, yeah.
Kyle
Alright, roll.
[24:59.]
Emily
Pray to the Gods, Ari! Pray to Kyle!
[Dice rolling in background.]
Emily
Oh!
Ari
Did my praying work?
Emily
Let it happen, Kyle. Let it happen!
Kyle
Ladies and Gentlemen, that would be a natural twenty on the court!
Ari
Oh, what the hells? [Clapping.]
Emily
Yes!
Kyle
Elee jumps to take a duuuuuunk! Elee you get like a major benefit, so what happens?
Emily
Okay, Elee is like half metal, like a ball bearing, right?
Kyle
Yeah.
Emily
Small, compact, heavy.
Kyle
[Singing Miley Cyrus’ “Wrecking Ball’ in a painful falsetto.] I came in like a wrecking ball!
Emily
[Laughter, delighted voice.] She’s going to come in like a wrecking ball!
Ari
[Exasperated.] Why?
Kyle
[Laughter.] And how are you going to wrecking ball this platform?
Emily
I want to cannonball it and try to make sort of a shockwave to knock them down.
Kyle
Uh, knock what down?
Emily
Aren’t there two scientists?
Kyle
Yeah.
Emily
Yeah [Laughter.] I want to knock them down.
Kyle
[Laughter.] Yeah you slam on the ground and the one that’s walking trips on their feet and kind of stumbles over and falls and is gripping onto the railway and yells,
Kyle (as first scientist)
Brad! Brad, I’ve fallen! Help Me!
Kyle
And the one that’s been leaning over turns over and he screams:
Kyle (as Brad)
Chad! No!
Kyle
And he runs over to pick up Chad.
Kyle
And so you’re pretty cocky right now, you’re pretty confident, right? And you notice this guy and instead of going to pick up Chad, you notice Brad reach up to his hand where he has one of the time tattoos and you see him rotate it.
Emily
[Gasping in horror.] No!
Kyle
And as he does, the platform that you are on starts to tilt upwards. Which for you, since you are on the opposite side means you are tilting downwards, giving Chad enough time to clamber up onto the platform before Brad, the other scientist, rotates that clock again to level the platform.
Emily
So, he’s rotating the actual marking on his hand?
Kyle
The actual marking on his hand is, is being rotated.
Emily
Okay.
Kyle
Uh, the, because if you remember it kind of looked like an indentation, so -
Emily
Mm-hmm.
Emily (as Elee)
You said you wanted to raise hell.
[Laughter.]
Kyle
You hear Everett yell:
Kyle (as Everett)
Uh, yeah, I’m not so sure about that anymore. I should watch, uh, Misha. That seems like a good plan.
Kyle
And then he remembers, uh, Misha throwing him over the water and says:
Ari
[Laughter.]
Kyle (as Everett)
Actually, no, I think I’ll come down by you. That seems like a better idea.
Kyle
And, uh, we’re going to move away from Elee towards Everett and Misha. And Everett’s going to look at you over to you and kind of like, look in kind of a like, ‘you’re coming?’ fashion.
Ari
Oh! Yes, An Individual. I am coming.
Kyle
And the two of you just going to jump off?
Ari
Uh, yeah. Misha is.
Kyle
Okay. Give me a roll for jumping.
Ari
[Singing.] Jumping - I have a six. I didn’t put effort or anything.
Kyle
So, Everett is going to jump, and he is going to land on the platform, unsteady. And Misha, you’re going to jump. But this is the first time in your whole life you’ve jumped.
Ari
Misha is just going to like, I guess just walk, like not even jumping; but just like keep walking and then fall -
All
[Laughter.]
Kyle
Yeah, you walk.
Ari
[Laughter.]
Kyle
And you just hear [descending whistle.]
Ari
[Laughter.]
Kyle
As Misha just sees the platform and just keeps falling. And what’s going to happen next, I’m not going to have be a GM intrusion, because it’s technically also saving you from certain death.
Ari
Good.
Kyle
Um, you’re falling down. It feels nice, actually. It’s, it’s a bit of a weird feeling. But it’s novel, and you’re really into that right now, you know?
Ari
Yeah.
Kyle
And as it happens, you get a sudden hit -
Ari
Oh no -
Kyle
-as you are grabbed on by somebody.
Ari
Oh!
Kyle
And then, then from Elee’s side you see a hook wrap onto the bar right by where you’re standing, and you see Misha with the Gendarme Soldier that you let get away -
Ari
Oh...
Kyle
-Swing around on this platform and land right in from of you. And the Gendarme Soldier looks to you and says,
Kyle (as Gendarme Soldier)
Everyone else still thought you were on the outside, but I saw you with my own two eyes. I knew you were clever enough to get inside of here.
Ari
Misha is going to introduce themselves to the Gendarme.
All
[Laughter.]
Kyle (as Gendarme Soldier)
I’m not here to introduce myself – I’m here to fight!
Ari (as Misha)
Oh.
Emily
Is Misha on the same level -
Kyle
Yeah.
Emily
-as everyone else now?
Kyle
-Misha, Misha is being grappled by
Emily
[Laughter.]
Kyle
-this person who is standing in front of you dramatically, and trying to be like this whole like,
Kyle (as Gendarme Soldier)
We meet again, I’m going to defeat you this time!
Kyle
While, uh, Misha’s just like “Hey, what’s up? My name’s Misha…”
Emily
[Laughter.]
Kyle
“…nice to meet you, what’s your name? Are you an Eleeb too?”
Ari
Basically.
Kyle
[Laughter] Uh, and I’m going to say, I’m going to say he causes initiative to happen there.
Ari
Alright.
Kyle
[Laughter.] Let’s just jump straight into that.
[Rocking, upbeat music plays.]
[29:34.]
Kyle
Welcome to the announcement break of Episode 13 of Quest Friends. My name is Kyle, your illustrious GM.
[Rock music ends.]
Kyle
[Smooth announcer/advertiser tone.] And today I’m going to take you through a journey of announcements. On your left, you can see that our first announcement is that our intro and outro music is called “Friends” and “Hitoshio”. Both songs are made by Miracle of Sound who is an amazing artist that you should absolutely check out. We also use a lot of other sound effects and music from talented sound designers and musicians. And you can find all of those in the description. On our right, you’ll see this week’s call to action – this one’s fairly simple: follow us on Twitter at quest_friends. That is quest_ and friends. If it doesn’t have our logo, it’s not us. We don’t just put fun stuff on our Twitter, we also put announcements for special events that we’re doing; such as an upcoming live stream of The Strange that Kyle will be running. That is all of our announcements for this week. The next episode will be the finale of Chapter Two: The Clockwork City. It is estimated to be out on Monday, April thirtieth, but because it is the finale, it might be a bit late. Regardless of when it comes out, we will see you at that time.
[Upbeat rock music plays.]
Ari
This is going to be fun! Because, like -
All
[Laughter.]
[Dice rolling in background.]
Ari
It’s going to be an unusual combat, that’s for sure.
Kyle
Elee has sixteen.
Ari
I got a nineteen.
[Dice rolling in background.]
Kyle
I have a fourteen.
Ari
Oh, got it. Okay, so I go.
Kyle
Um, so - alright, Misha, you are starting in combat, whatever the hell that is.
Ari
Well, I guess my first action will be to load - well I don’t know because I already used my looking into the Datasphere. Can I look again to see what is “fighting”?
Kyle
[Laughter.] Yeah, I’m going to say you are, just because it fits with the setting. You try to pull up “what is fighting?” but it’s, it’s all hazy now, you’re, you’re, it feels like the Datasphere is being blocked out -
Ari
Mmm.
Kyle
- and you’re, you’re unable to draw from it.
Ari
Okay.
Emily
Misha, what weapons do you have?
Ari
I have Hopper’s arm thing. For this turn, I am going to have Misha put on the, the arm blades and still kind of figuring out what is going on. But as, as they put the arm blades, they are going to look at them kind of like realizing something.
Kyle
Alright, Elee what are you going to do?
Emily
What are Brad and Chad up to right now?
Kyle
Um, they were in an embrace, because they were just thankful the other one was safe.
Emily
Aw.
Kyle
But now they’ve turned over and they’ve noticed you.
Emily
So, I want to turn to Brad and Chad and just lean in a little bit, put my finger up to my lips and say,
Emily (as Elee)
Shhh.
Kyle
Uh, Chad puts his head against Brad’s chest.
Emily (as Elee)
[Laughter.] And then I turn back to the Gendarme Soldier and try to whack him across the head.
Kyle
With what?
Emily
My fist.
Kyle
Okay, just -
Emily
My fist.
Kyle
Alright.
Emily
Yeah, I don’t want to kill them yet.
Kyle
Alright, so Elee is going to reach around Misha to punch this dude in the face.
Emily
Oh, is Misha - ? [Laughter.]
Kyle
Yes! Yes, they are. I said that!
Emily
[Nervously.] I didn’t realize -
Kyle
But give me a roll, pray it’s good.
[Dice rolling in background.]
Emily
[Shrieks.] No!
Kyle
Um, it is a six.
Emily
No!
Kyle
But as you punch -
Emily
Nooo...
Kyle
You realize -
Emily
Misha, No!
Ari
Oh yooo!
Kyle
You realize when like two people are trying to catch a ball, and because of that neither catch it? You and Misha’s scarf are both trying to punch this dude in the face. And because of that you get your fist wrapped around in Misha’s scarf before pulling it away.
Emily
Pulling my fist away or Misha’s scarf away?
Kyle
Pulling your fist away.
Emily
Okay.
Kyle
It’s a six.
Emily
Making sure, that was rude-
Kyle
I’m not going to punish you that bad.
Kyle
But the Gendarme Soldier, in seeing that is going to whip their grappling hook at your feet and try to trip you and cause you to fall over so I’m going to need you to roll speed defense.
[Dice rolling in background.]
Emily
Six.
Ari
Oh my God!
Emily
It’s a weighted die!
Kyle
[Laughter.] They, uh, they grapple around your legs and you fall to the ground and kind of actually stumble over so that your uh, your top part is hanging into the walkway, but that lower platform that is surrounded by all the cog wheels, your legs are dangling over that.
Emily
Oh no!
Kyle
Everett’s going to turn over and say:
Kyle (as Everett)
Don’t worry, I’ll help you! I’ve got them.
Kyle
And he’s going to give a look to Chad and Brad, who like, look scared, and start running over to them with his uchi-katana motherfucking curved sword.
Emily
[Laughter.]
Kyle
Alright, Misha, what are you gonna do?
Ari
So, all of this time after they put the arm blades on there, they are going just to have been staring at them -
[Eerie music with heartbeat begins.]
[34:52.]
-- really quietly and can you imagine like a background noise, in, in their own mind like imagine Yuri from Doki Doki when she’s like, [Exhales.]. You know, that like, really terrifying heartbeat and just like breathing like that. And then Misha, can I just say that like, Misha’s eyes going to go like really red for a moment, and then they are going to look at the Gendarme dude and then they are going to just like run towards him with the air blades trying to like throw them right in his face.
[Eerie music with heartbeat ends.]
Kyle
Okay, I’m going to say you’re currently grappled by him.
Ari
Ah, yeah.
Kyle
So, I would say it was more like you turn your head around and you just stick your fist up, hoping to stab him in the face.
Ari
Okay, I do - I want to put one level of effort to this roll.
Kyle
And it is a light weapon, so it’s already one step easier.
Ari
Alright, so what I get is –
[Dice rolling in background.]
I got an eleven.
Kyle
Because it is easier, and you put in a level of effort, you go and you just cut a gash against this person’s face and he like screams out in pain and lets go, uh, lets go of you.
Ari
Alright.
Kyle
Yeah, and that’s your turn. And he took a couple points of [Singing.] damaaaage. You cut him in the face!
Ari
[Singing.] Cut him in the face!
Kyle
[Singing.] You cut him in the face! You cut him in the face! What are you going to do, Elee? [Laughter.]
Emily
I would like to spare a glance at Everett, uh, [Laughter.] because I am very curious as to how he’s getting on.
Kyle
Uh, he’s just running at those two dudes.
Emily
He’s still running?!
Kyle
Yeah.
Emily
How slow is he?
Kyle
[Sarcastically defensive.] He’s not athletic, Emily!
Emily
Yeah, but like [scoffs.]
Kyle
Let’s keep going.
Emily
Okay, sorry - So Mako – we’re right by his cell, right?
Kyle
Potentially.
Emily
Potentially?
Kyle
We don’t know whether…the only cog wheel you can see beneath you is, you see a, a wheel that says “Shanksfossil” on it, and it’s empty.
Emily
[Sighs.] Can I roll to try to find it? Or is it just not?
Kyle
Yeah, you look around. I’m not even going to say you roll, you just look around and you do see, and you get a better view of these, uh, cog wheels. And in one of them, you see something that does say, “Mako”. And it’s, it’s like there’s this kind of like glass bubble. Because you know how sometimes cog wheels are empty on the inside like donuts? There’s one cog wheel, and it seems to have like this glass bubble in that empty donut-like space and you see a man just laying down on the ground rotating as that wheel spins around, and it does say, “Mako”.
Emily
I want to try to free Mako.
Kyle
So, you run over to the cell, and you can see it’s basically made out of like Jell-O.
Emily
Gross.
Kyle
Uh, it’s this gelatinous substance that seems to be made out of. Alright, so it’s my turn. The Gendarme Soldier looks at Elee running towards Mako’s chamber and yells over:
Kyle (as Gendarme Soldier)
Brad, quick!
Kyle
And Brad rotates around this pole and you see one of the gelatinous substances behind you disappear. And the Gendarme Soldier is going to whip his harness at you and I need you to roll speed defense.
Emily
[Inhales and exhales sharply and hisses.]
[Dice rolling in background.]
Kyle
Eighteen!
Emily
Yes!
Kyle
Uh, the harpoon whips, gets stuck in the Jell-O, uh, in front of you before he pulls it back. Meanwhile, Everett is running, screaming at Chad and Brad. You hear Chad yell,
Kyle (as Chad)
Brah, stay away from my husband!
Kyle
And he starts to rotate his hand, and the platform you’re on starts spinning faster and faster as Chad and Brad are trying to throw everybody off. So, Misha, I’m going to need you to roll defense to maintain your footing.
[Dice rolling in background.]
Ari
Seven.
[Dice rolling in background.]
Kyle
Alright, so the Gendarme Soldier is fine but Misha and Everett fly backwards and both of you grab onto the handrailing, but now you’re essentially flying in the air -
Ari
Perfect.
Kyle
As the platform is spinning as fast as it can.
Ari
That’s fine. [Laughter.]
Kyle
And, Misha, it is back to you.
Ari
Oh! Oh, well I’m flailing in the air, so, or on the platform thing. How close is Everett, like can I try to use him to impulse myself back into that platform somehow?
Kyle
Give me a, give me a roll, and I will, I will explain it. Because I think I know a way I can explain it.
[Dice rolling in background.]
Ari
A one. [Laughter.]
Emily
[Surprised, concerned laugh.]
Kyle
Alright, um, so Everett – you see him holding on and he lets go and he flies toward you.
Ari
God.
Kyle
And you think ‘I can use his momentum to get back on; that’s how physics work!’ And you go to grab him, and he just pulls you off.
Ari
Yooo, oh no!
Kyle
And you essentially fly into the wall, and I’m going to say that you take four points of might damage.
Ari
Alright. Good.
Kyle
As you essentially, you fly into a vertical cog wheel that’s kind of like, uh, probably ten feet away from this platform. These are giant vertical cog wheels, and you feel, uh, essentially, you feel yourself going down on this cog wheel. And you realize that in about five seconds, the cog you’re on is going to match up with another one and flatten both you and Everett.
Ari
Oh, no...
Kyle
Elee, what are you going to do?
Ari
Oh, no!
Emily (as Elee)
[Sighs.] Really?!
Emily
How many feet away are they from me?
[40:00.]
Kyle
I’m going to say a short distance.
Emily
Okay. Are they both conscious?
Kyle
Yeah, they’re both conscious. They’re both very, well, Everett’s very upset; I’m not going to pretend to know how Misha is feeling [Laughter.].
Ari
Misha right now just wants to keep hitting.
All
[Laughter.]
Emily
I want to use the cypher. The yo-yo one, the sticky yo-yo.
Kyle
Okay.
Emily
And I want to toss it to Misha and Everett, and also say, “grab the ball”.
Kyle
Everett grabs it on the bottom as if he is holding onto a microphone. Misha, what do you do? Do you grab onto this yo-yo thing?
Ari
Uh, Misha grabs to Everett.
Kyle
So, Misha’s on Everett, Everett is kind of on the ball. And this thing which whips out, with surprising strength, pulls back Misha and Everett and it flings you over the walkway onto the central platform that Elee is on. But the weight was too much, and it, it snaps as you fall onto the ground.
Emily
Elee nods approvingly.
Kyle
The Gendarme Soldier above you yells,
Kyle (as Gendarme Soldier)
[Yelling.] Hey! We’re not done yet!
Kyle
And he whips the, uh, harness at Misha. Misha, I’m going to need you to roll speed defense.
Ari
Alright! Here we go!
[Dice rolling in background.]
I got a two, because this dice is bad.
Kyle
The Gendarme Soldier whips their harness around you, and instead of pulling you toward them, you notice them use it to pull them towards you as they come forward with a fist and just knock you in the face -
Ari
Oh my God!
Kyle
-and you’re going to need to take four points of might damage.
Ari
[Sputtering.] I’m at one point of might.
Kyle and Emily
Oh no!
Ari
[Strained.] I have one might!
Kyle
As he does that, Everett is going to scream,
Kyle (as Everett)
Don’t worry about it, robot friend!
Kyle
And he swings at the guy. And I’m going to have him roll, because I don’t know if I want him to fail or not.
[Dice rolling in background.]
Kyle
And he misses.
Ari
Oh good.
Kyle
He swings right above this guy and kind of stumbles a little bit. Uh, alright Misha it’s your turn.
Ari
Alright, so the Gendarme guy came with a harness, guided himself toward me, and punched me in the face, and now he is right where me and Everett are, correct?
Kyle
Yeah. You’re essentially on the platform beneath that walkway and you’re all together except for
Chad and Brad, who, frankly, just kind of seem to want to be left alone.
Ari
And the platform is still not on the ‘ground-ground’, right? Because if it’s like you’re looking at a, like a clock thing.
Kyle
Yeah.
Ari
Okay so Misha’s going to try to push the Gendarme guy out like form the platform. Like just push him into the void.
Kyle
Okay, that’s going to be tough, uh, because there are cog wheels surrounding this thing like a wall, but it is possible.
Ari
Uh, well -
Kyle
So get, I mean if you want to do it, give me a roll.
Ari
The impossible is possible, as Kaito Momota would say.
[Dice rolling in background.]
Ari
Yay, I got, uh, a nine so...
Emily
The impossible is not possible. [Laughter.]
Kyle
[Clicking tongue thoughtfully.] No experience or effort?
Ari
I rolled already. I should have put experience or effort.
Kyle
You can use experience to re-roll.
Ari
Oh, ah yes! I forget I can do that, oh my God! I am doing that.
Kyle
Alright, how does this experience help Misha re-roll?
Ari
Hmm, could Misha like establish their footing or like their, like, like, they, they try to do it at first, and then they realize that they are like starting in a bad position?
Kyle
Yeah. First time trying - Misha fails, but then the muscle memory comes back and they plant their foot and get ready for another push. Do you want to put any effort into the second push?
Ari
I do, I am going to put some might effort, I want to put two levels of effort.
Kyle
Uh, you only have one point of might left, don’t you?
Ari
Yes, okay never mind. I thought -
Kyle
Uh, since this is light -
Ari
Oh, should I put a speed, a speed effort instead?
Kyle
I’m going to cheat and let you put in a point of speed effort-
Ari
Okay.
Kyle
-because I really want this to happen.
Ari
Okay, I’m putting a point of speed effort for the dice.
[Dice rolling in background.]
Ari
I got a fourteen!
Kyle
Alright, I want you to describe how you push this man either into the void or into the gears.
Ari
Ooh. Hmm. But if it is into the gears, would they be crushed by the gears?
Emily
Well, otherwise they’re falling. Oh, no!
Ari
I’ll push them into the gears then. Misha is just going to have a lot of curiosity as to how it looks when a man is between these wheels. They are just very curious to see that, so.
[Soft, menacing music plays.]
Kyle
We’re not going to describe the grisly scene that happens. [Sound of cogs turning.] But suffice it to say, you push him in and he gets crushed. And as the capsule breaks holding the harness you see the harness shoot out [Sound of rope stretching and flinging.] and kind of like wildly shoot the rope all around you and it’s weird, because you feel like you should feel...something. I’m not going to say whether or not you feel like it’s supposed to be positive or something negative. But you feel like you are supposed to feel something, and you don’t.
[Menacing music ends.]
Ari
Hmm.
Kyle
And he falls to the ground. And Everett is traumatized forever. Chad and Brad are definitely traumatized forever. Elee is -
Ari
[Laughter.]
Emily
Unphased.
Kyle
Elee is unphased.
Emily
Well -
Ari
[Laughter.]
Kyle
Uh, well you’re out of combat! [Mock triumph.] Congratulations, we’ve officially murdered our first man!
All
[Laughter.]
[44:50.]
Kyle
Uh, okay. So you get, a, uh, you get to look around. In front of you is Mr. Mako’s chamber. You look around, you see other chambers. You see the name “Shanksfossil”, you see the name “Brackleberry”, and you see the name, Misha, “Collodi”. As you feel, see the name Collodi, you instinctively get a deep, sharp, pain inside of you -
[Static and the beeps of morse code begin.]
Ari
Oh yo.
Kyle
And everything: your, your vision, your ears, your, your memories, your concept of, of being, disappears for a second.
Ari
Oh God.
Kyle
And it just feels like pain and emptiness.
Ari
Oh yo.
[Static and beeping intensifies, then subsides.]
Kyle
And then it comes back. And then you’re okay. You still don’t know what the fuck is going on, but you’re okay.
Ari
Okay.
Emily
[Distressed noise.]
Ari
Uh, this is some Doki Doki shit.
All
[Laughter.]
Kyle
Just Collodi. Ah, I’m going to actually pronounce it “Co-LOW-dee”. I like Collodi better. Just Collodi.
Emily
Niiii...Co-low-dee...onnn. [Cheesy laughter.]
Kyle
Okay, so what’re you going to do...
Emily
Sorry.
Kyle
Is you’ve got a traumatized couple above you, you’ve got a traumatized boy beside you, and you’ve got Mr. Mako’s chambers. Which as I said, are a cog wheel that are rotating, so he’s kind of on the, laying down on the ground, rotating around, uh, and there’s a glass bubble. So, what do you do?
Emily (as Elee)
Everett, how do we get him out of the cell?
Kyle (as Everett)
[Haltingly.] You - you killed a man! You killed a man, uh, uh!
Emily (as Elee)
Everett, focus! Focus.
Kyle (as Everett)
[In shock.] I don’t! I don’t!
Kyle
And he’s going to get down on his knees and just start rambling like:
Kyle (as Everett)
[Beginning to sob.] I don’t know, I don’t, I don’t know -
Emily
Can we get back up to Brad and Chad?
Kyle
Uh, yeah. There’s that axel thing in the center and there’s a ladder attached to it and you can just climb up to the walkway.
Emily
I want, uh, uh, motion for Misha to follow me back up.
Ari
Okay.
Emily
Do you follow me?
Ari
Uh, yeah. Misha is just going to take a little bit to respond. They are just going to be repeating the name Collodi for a couple of, like a couple of times and then they are going to realize that Elee is talking to them.
Emily
I want to put my hand on Misha’s shoulder as I approach this couple.
Emily (as Elee)
[Deadly serious.] Open a cell.
Kyle (as Chad/Brad)
This is not chill, brah. This is not chill at all!
Kyle
And they open up Mako’s, uh, cell, for you. I’m going to say that because you murdered a man by crushing him to death in some gears, you don’t need to roll intimidation.
Emily
Yeah, that’s –
Kyle
[Coughing.] [Laughter.]
Emily
I was taking Misha up with me because I [Laughter.] -
Kyle
[Mock outrage.] Oh my God! You two are monsters! Is this what happens when Hop and Xoc aren’t around?!
All
[Laughter.]
Kyle
You two are monsters!
Ari
To be fair, Misha doesn’t understand that they have done anything wrong. Misha just wanted to see what would happen if you put a man inside in the middle of two cogs. They don’t know that the man is dead.
Kyle
[Laughter.]
Emily
So, I make them nervous.
Kyle
Okay, fine. They open, they open up, the uh, the cell.
Emily
I want to go back down to Mako...very quickly...before something else terrible happens.
Kyle
Okay. He’s still just rolling around on the ground.
Emily
Okay. Well, apparently, my signature move when people are on the ground is to just drag them up by the collar, so-
Kyle
Okay.
Emily
-May as well!
Kyle
Okay. You reach over to grab him, and I need you to roll speed defense.
[Dice rolling in background.]
Emily
[Drawn out contemplative, dreading noise.] Nineteen!
Kyle
Suddenly, this motionless thing goes to grab you and reaches past you and grabs Everett, who gets shocked with electricity and falls to the ground temporarily paralyzed. And suddenly, he jumps up and he says,
Kyle (as Mr. Mako)
A-ha! The old “pretend you’re knocked unconscious and escape” trick, you fell for it!
[Playful, bouncing music begins.]
Kyle
Sure enough, it’s Mr. Mako. You see this tall, spindly man with a really long, thin mustache, a giant grin, and just the most, the most poofy-ass hair you’ve ever seen, pop up ready for like, war.
Kyle (as Mr. Mako)
It’s about time I made my escape!
Emily (as Elee)
How’s that escape been going before we got here?
Kyle (as Mr. Mako)
Not a word, villain! I will proceed unhindered!
Kyle
And he starts to walk forward, just like, his uh, his arm just moving up and down in an authoritative fashion. And Everett is going to turn over and be like,
Kyle (as Everett)
[Sigh.] Boss, Boss, wait! Wait, Boss!
Kyle
And he’s going to stop and heel-turn over too.
Kyle (as Mr. Mako)
It seems like I am mistaken. Can someone explain what is going on.
Emily
[Laughter.] Misha, do you want to chime in at all?
Ari
Uh, okay. I mean Misha can chime in on what they think is going on. I’m not saying that it’s…
Kyle
Go ahead Misha.
[49:32.]
Ari (as Misha)
Alright well, I, I have discovered that red life fluid stems from man when they are put between two cogs. I did not know this knowledge. Then, I have seen that we have appeared to reach this location out of the rush and into the man that we are rescuing and the man that we are rescuing has left this prison place towards a new location. And this wheel - it still continues to spin and it puzzles me as to why it has not stopped. And it’s going to show the cypher.
[Playful music ends.]
Kyle
Mako’s going to turn over and he’s going to stare at that wheel for a moment. And he is also very fascinated by it, uh, and then Everett’s going to pipe up.
Kyle (as Everett)
Your wife sent them with me to rescue you.
Kyle (as Mr. Mako)
But my wife – Mauve, is - is she doing, is she doing alright?
Emily (as Elee)
I mean, she’s kind of pissed that Vera threw you in prison, but she seems fine.
Kyle
And he’s going to laugh very boisterously like:
Kyle (as Mr. Mako)
[Boisterous laughter.] Ha ha ha! No, I’m filled with rage, too! Let’s go tear this thing down, shall we?
Kyle
And he raises his left arm, because if you notice, he does not have a right arm. And his lights crackle a little bit, before disappearing. And he looks at himself, right – right. I forgot the power from this place blocks out the Datasphere. That’s going to be a problem. Did either of you bring a glove, by chance?
Ari
Misha is going to point out at their scarf, and ask:
Ari (as Misha)
Is this a glove?
Emily and Ari
[Laughter.]
Kyle (as Mr. Mako)
That is a glove in process, my dear.
All
[Laughter.]
Kyle
Everett is going to weakly raise the little hexagonal thing, and say,
Kyle (as Everett)
You mean this, sir?
Kyle (as Mr. Mako)
Yes, exactly that! That’s exactly what I’m looking for.
Kyle
And he grabs this thing, and puts the button facing against his palm and he slams it into his thigh. And you see this hexagonal little thingy open up. And you see wires start to reach out from it and extend across his arm as the spaces between the wires are filled by pliable metal gauntlets. And the palm, the palm emanates a bright red. And he pulls it out and he feels it. And I should emphasize this is on the arm that he already has, he is not, he is not replacing his other arm or anything like that.
Kyle (as Mr. Mako)
So how much do you two know about this place?
Ari (as Misha)
I know this place is very big, and I know that this place is new, and I know I have been in this place before.
Emily (as Elee)
I mean, it’s, it’s like a clock, right? Like a ticky thing that goes around.
Kyle (as Mr. Mako)
Well, it’s not just a clock. It’s the most dangerous weapon that’s ever been designed. And I would be remiss if we left this place without taking it down.
Kyle
And with that, he’s going to take his glove and he’s going to point it at the axel beneath you, and a beam of red light is going to shoot out from the glove, a consistent laser, and he’s just going to laser a hole in the ground beneath you, uh -
Emily (as Elee)
Wait, are you destroying it like, right now? Like this, this minute? Because we got like two other people somewhere.
Kyle (as Mr. Mako)
Oh, you do? Do you know where they are?
Emily (as Elee)
No.
Kyle (as Mr. Mako)
Well, if they are anything like you two, I’m sure they’ll be resourceful enough to get out of there before we all die.
Kyle
And he jumps down the hole, and, uh, you see him disappear. And the glove comes back up and he motions, and he says:
Kyle (as Mr. Mako)
Come, come! Come, come!
Ari
Misha’s going to walk towards the hole.
Emily
[Laughter.] Elee’s going to grab Misha and be like,
Emily (as Elee)
Seriously?! What if they just be, gets -
Ari (as Misha)
He has motioned to come.
Emily (as Elee)
Just because someone motions to you to come, does not mean you have to come, Misha. [Laughter.]
Ari (as Misha)
I will register this. Thank you for your input, Elee – Eleeb.
Emily
[Laughter.] So, should we just leave him?
Kyle
Uh, he’s going to pop his head up, and he’s going to like, pop up so you see like his nose and the hairs are just popping up from the hole a little bit. And he’s just going to look and say:
Kyle (as Mr. Mako)
Uh, come come! What’s the rush?
Ari (as Misha)
Eleeb has forbidden me from coming towards your location.
Emily (as Elee)
I’m not forbidding you, Misha, it’s just that you shouldn’t do everything you’re told all the time. And I don’t trust men with mustaches!
Kyle
He looks genuinely hurt, and he says:
Kyle (as Mr. Mako)
Elee, I’m very disappointed to hear that.
Ari
[Laughter.]
Kyle (as Mr. Mako)
How about this? Here is, here is my promise -
Kyle
And he pokes up the rest of his head, so his chin is resting on the hole.
Kyle (as Mr. Mako)
If you help me destroy this platform, I will ensure you that we will find your friends before we leave.
Ari (as Misha)
I have an inquiry for you, Mr. Mako. What are “friends”?
Kyle (as Mr. Mako)
[Sighs.] Well, I suppose that’s a deep question.
Ari
[Laughter.]
Emily (as Elee)
We’re coming.
All
[Laughter.]
Kyle
Okay, so you all pop into the hole, and as you pop down, you don’t see this because you’re in – but we, the audience, see his hand pop up again and point toward Chad and Brad, and say:
Kyle (as Mr. Mako)
You two are very good gentlemen, I appreciate how you’ve been treating me, I would highly suggest you leave this building before it collapses to the ground and kills everyone inside.
Ari
[Gasping laughter.]
Kyle
And so, you follow this man. As you walk kind of in the underbelly of this clock, like you’re walking on some cog wheels, but a lot of this is harnesses and platforms. And you notice you’re actually following those, like, veins of blue light that led toward that center column.
Kyle (as Mr. Mako)
So, the thing about this tower is that it provides nearly infinite energy using any sort of source. Under good hands, that would be an, an amazing thing; but unfortunately, it’s not only in the bad hands of the queen’s, it’s in the worst hands of The Jagged Dream. It breaks my heart to have to do this, but it’s too risky to leave here, especially with the things that I know the Jagged Dream is going to do.
Kyle
And as you walk you see a little kind of, like, manhole above you, and he’s going to lift up this manhole and push it to the side, and say:
[55:00.]
Kyle (as Mr. Mako)
Luckily, while this source provides infinite power, that doesn’t mean the components that harness those, that power, can maintain it.
Kyle
And he’s going to, uh, stand on up and go into the final chamber of this episode. Are you two going to follow?
Emily
Yeah. I mean, I’m, I’m pretty curious at this point.
Kyle
Misha?
Ari
Sure.
[Futuristic, peaceful, slightly unnerving music begins.]
Kyle
So, you find yourself in that beating heart. You’re inside this massive tower comprising of ten-foot cog wheels, uh, surrounding you, that are rotating alternating counter-clockwise, clockwise, counter-clockwise, clockwise and stretches up as far as you can see. Beneath you is a pool of shimmering, moving, blue light. It’s like water, and it moves like water, but you can tell that if you jumped into it, it wouldn’t have that consistency. You’d just fall right through – assuming, you know – that the light wouldn’t kill you before you hit it. Above you is a funnel, and you see a few pieces of garbage fall from the sky above, hit this funnel and, uh, it kind of ‘umbrella’s’ you so the garbage doesn’t hit you on the head and just murder you in a giant mass of garbage.
Emily
Thanks.
Kyle
In front of you is one of the walkways, like the one you fought on, and at the center of it is a column. And he marches proudly towards that column, and he says,
Kyle (as Mr. Mako)
This is the center of power in Charmonde.
[Futuristic music ends.]
Kyle (as Mr. Mako)
It usually runs automatically, but we can manually override it and tell it to take all of the source of energy that it needs. If we override the system, it might go at high power for a moment, but it’s not going to last that long before it breaks.
Emily (as Elee)
What happens when it goes at high power?
Kyle (as Mr. Mako)
Well, that’s the fun part – I have no idea!
Emily (as Elee)
[Wicked laugh.]Let’s do it!
Kyle
Um, so he’s going to walk upward on this platform. You’re going to have to wait because the platform that he walks on – that kind of walkway – rotates alongside the cog wheel it’s attached to, so it’s slowly rotating counter-clockwise. So, then it comes back for another pass, and do you, uh, do you both get on it?
Emily
I’d like to.
Ari
Yeah!
Kyle
Okay, as you get up there and reach him, he’s looking down at his glove, looking at the console, looking at his glove, looking at the console, he thinks:
Kyle (as Mr. Mako)
[Sighs.] Uh, that just, that won’t do. Do either of you have any experience with machines?
Ari (as Misha)
[Hesitantly.] Uh, I am a machine.
Kyle (as Mr. Mako)
Life experience – the best kind anyone can have!
Emily (as Elee)
Misha’s life experience might currently not be very helpful or vast.
Kyle (as Mr. Mako)
It’s more vast than anything any of us can have. Please, please – uh, Misha, it was?
Ari
Uh, okay. I guess I’m going to, can I use scan on the thing and see if I can do anything with it?
Kyle
Yeah.
Ari
Alright, I’m going to use scan on the thing.
[Dice rolling in background.]
Ari
And I rolled a one, so probably not going to work.
Kyle
[Deviously.] You have an idea.
Ari
With a one? That’s great.
Kyle
A dangerous idea. You think that if there was only some way you could connect your body to it, you might be able to directly speak to it.
Ari
O...kay, is there some sort of cable, or something that I can use to plug?
Kyle
Uh, I mean there are a couple of wires over it.
Ari
[Concerned.] Okay, I am going to go ahead and try and pick some of the wires and put it on like a USB port or whatever that machine may have. And I don’t know if Misha has a USB port of some sort?
Kyle
Uh, you do not. You are perfectly human-like. You would have to like make a port.
Ari
That’s what I feared.
Emily
[Gasps.]
Ari
Um…
Kyle
[Whispers.] Now you see why it’s a one.
Ari
Uh, huh… uh, I don’t know if I want to like just do that. Can I just put the wires in my mouth?
Emily
[Laughter.]
Kyle
Okay, they are stimulating, they are very stimulating, and as you are doing it, Mako is looking at you bug-eyed.
Kyle (as Mr. Mako)
That’s fascinating. Is it working?
Ari
Uh, Misha is going to look at Mako and say with the wires in their mouth
Ari (as Misha)
I do not know, at this point.
Kyle (as Mr. Mako)
[Sighs.]
Kyle
[Sighs.] He sighs. You see him pull the wires out of your mouth and he says,
Kyle (as Mr. Mako)
I suppose we better just do things the old-fashioned way.
Kyle
And he puts his hand on the console. And it starts to shine with light, as he shoots a beam of energy directly into this console. And as he does, you hear the wires around you start to rev up with more and more energy. And you see him, kind of, you know runners they place their hand on the ground, kind of like, ready to sprint?
Ari
Ah, I think so.
Kyle
He basically puts himself onto the ground, he almost lays onto the ground, leaning forward with his feet far behind him and his hand far in front of him. And he smiles at both of you and he says:
Kyle (as Mr. Mako)
I’ll race you to the top!
Ari
Um -
Kyle
So, do you two remember, as children – I don’t know if you, uh, either of you had this playground thing – but there was that thing you would hold on to, that was just kind of like this platform, and you would hold onto it and other kids would spin it-
Ari
Yeah.
Kyle
-as you tried to hold on.
Ari
Yeah.
Kyle
What happened when the kids spun it faster?
Ari
[In realization.] You fell, right?
[59:51.]
Kyle
This platform starts spinning… faster, and faster, and faster, and faster, and faster, and faster, and faster, and faster, and faster, and faster. And pretty quickly, the strongest force playing on you isn’t the force of gravity pulling you downwards, and the ground is no longer your ground - the walls are.
[Closing music plays and ends.]
Ari
[Thrilled.] It’s a centrifuge, it’s a centrifuge!
[Episode ends 1:00:58.]