Hop, Elee, and Misha escape Charmonde. Xoc escapes death.
Listen as they:
RAIN down a beatdown!
UNWIND Vera's last trick!
GIVE their enemies the chair!
TRANSCRIPT (Downloadable Version):
Kyle
Xoc, you awake and find yourself suspended in glassy darkness. You can move freely, you're no longer impaired or debilitated, but there's no ground to hold onto, no force to move against, no up or down to orient yourself to. Do you do anything?
Tom
Xoc will drift aimlessly for a bit, trying to remember what he's doing here.
Kyle
You drift for a while, and then it happens.
[ominous music plays, then stops].
It feels like a scream. It doesn't sound like one, it feels like one. A sharp, tormented cry that expertly buries itself into the side of your skull, leaving behind a non-physical hole, through which you can feel yourself being pulled out and tethered to this darkness around you. Your thoughts, your feelings, your memories— travel on a wire through space. And before you can fully comprehend the horror of whatever this is, the scorching hot green of a plasma grenade ignites in front of you, throwing you off your feet—
[music plays].
— and onto muddy wet earth.
[Opening theme, “Friends” by Miracle of Sound, begins.]
[1:29]
Kyle
Okay, so the covered wagon tremors to life, as it is suddenly jolted back downwards towards the ramp. And you see six of these Gendarme soldiers race towards you and shoot out their harpoons in order to catch up. For the purposes of the fight, a couple of things: obviously, you can't do a lot of movement, so I’m going to be a little more flexible on what I count as an action; you're not going to be able to hit somebody twice, but you know, I'll be more flexible, just in general. Also, for the purposes of you: we’re going to count it as if you are fighting two enemies, and we're just going to say the other four Gendarme soldiers are kind of scuffling with Don, Everett, and Jesse and Joe. And Emily, you are first, so what are you going to do?
Emily
So, are they like, on the boat now?
Kyle
Uh, they're not on the boat yet, but they are chasing very quickly. They shot their harpoons, and attached to the boat— and are now like, flying towards it, but they're not there yet.
Emily
Yeah.
Kyle
Something to note actually about vehicle combat, is that vehicles have hit points that I will be keeping track of. Anytime an enemy hits it— if it’s a small hit— it will be one point. If it's a big hit, it'll be two.
Emily
Oh—
Hallie
Oh boy.
Emily
So, can I--can I grab hold of the the rope, pull them in to punch them, and then let go? So they fall down?
Kyle
Um, yeah, so I'll say you successfully pull up the rope of one of them—the harpoon that's attached to the boat, and then I need you to roll me a physical attack roll—a might roll.
Emily
Might! It MIGHT work!!
Hallie
Eyyyy!
All
[laughter].
Ari
No.
[dice roll].
Emily
Nine.
Kyle
You go to punch this dude, and he just flies past you, and now you've got a Gendarme soldier in the boat, congratulations.
Emily
Sorrryyyyy!
Hallie
[laughter].
Emily
He was coming close anyway!
Kyle
And we’re going to move over to Misha’s turn.
Ari
So, to us, Xoc is just still laying unconscious, right?
Kyle
Xoc is still just laying unconscious, he’s not responding, he’s not doing anything. He looks almost dead. In fact, actually...he looks alarmingly still.
[music plays].
Ari
So Misha is kind of overwhelmed with like these, I guess sensations, I guess they haven’t had before. And they are like just freaking out for a better term of the word, so they are just going to keep playing the song that they were still playing louder, while trying to telepathically communicate with Xoc, screaming:
Ari (as Misha)
Xoc! Please, you— I remember you saying this song gave you strength! I--I am willing for you to give you strength! This is a magical instrument, this will give you strength!
Kyle
Give me a roll.
Ari
[dice roll].
20! So what are you going to do about that?!
[music stops].
Kyle
Nothing happens.
Ari
Nothing happens? Even with a 20??
Kyle
Nothing.
[ominous music plays].
You have all the skill and all the luck in the world, and nothing happens.
Ari (as Misha)
Oh god. Please— please, Xoc, please!
Emily (as Elee)
Kid, just--just watch him. It's not working.
Ari (as Misha)
But— Eleeb, it HAS to work. It has to! Is this— is this what “die” is?
Emily (as Elee)
No. “Die” is when you don't come back.
Ari (as Misha)
Well, I will make sure he comes back then.
Emily (as Elee)
Then, protect him from the soldiers.
[brakes screech].
[music plays].
Kyle (as Mako)
I agree protection would be a very excellent thing to do right now.
Kyle
Hop, it's your turn, and as your turn starts, you see that soldier plant his feet on the inside of the like, covered wagon part. And Mauve turns over and says:
Kyle (as Mauve)
Oh shit, honey, can you do something about that?
Hallie
I still have her rapier, right? That like, [whoosh/zap sounds], electric rapier?
Kyle
Yes, you do.
Hallie
Alright! I’m going to fire it up, and be like:
Hallie (as Hopper)
This thing is really cool, by the way. Can I still use it?
Kyle
She's going to look at you, and smile and say:
[5:01]
Kyle (as Mauve)
Darlin’, I got one better.
Kyle
And she reaches down, grabs her cane, and she hands it over to you.
Hallie
Ooooh!
Kyle (as Mauve)
Just turn it to pick whatever setting you want.
Hallie
What are the settings?
Kyle
So, you don’t know exactly what they are, but this is a cane that’s a light melee weapon, with a medium-powered projectile. There are four colors, but I will not tell you what they do. There is icy blue, yellow, red, and purple— and you’ve just gotta twist the handle to whatever color you want.
Hallie
Sounds like a game of “Simon says.” Okay, can I like, turn around in the seat then, and it look through the flap, and then like sniper rifle it— at the--at the Gendarme soldier?
Kyle
Okay, which setting do you set it to?
Hallie
I would like to try...yellow.
Kyle
You switch it to yellow, and you hear a jolt, as a yellow line of light slides down from the top of this T-handle into the rest of the cane. And give me a roll to the shoot at this dude!
Hallie
Imma give you roll to shoot at this dude.
Kyle
Do you put in the effort in?
Hallie
I’m going to put effort into hit.
[dice roll].
12.
Kyle
You go— and you see what looks like a rope of electricity shoot out of the end of your cane, and wrap itself around this guy, who gets shocked with electricity and will be unable to move his next turn.
Hallie
Woo!
Kyle
And as you do that, the yellow color on the side fades out, and it looks like you won't be able to use that one again.
Hallie
Okay.
Kyle
Alright, give me sec. Where the fuck—? Where the fuck—what the fuck— oh, here are the soldiers. Alright, and now it is the enemies’ turn. This guy is just kind of like— he’s jittering with electricity, and he's on the ground, and he’s trying to reach at the, uh, at the electricity that's got him contained. But it's just shocking him more. But as that happens, the other soldier is going to see Elee, and see just how bad she is at hitting people.
Emily
Rude!
Kyle
And he’s going to try and kick her in the face and knock her down.
Emily
That is so rude!
Kyle
[Unabashedly] Roll me a Speed defense!
Hallie
He's making a mistake. He is drawing inferences from a small sample size!
Tom
[Laughter]
Emily
[dice roll]
2!?!
Kyle
He knocks you in the face, which would do normally 4 points of damage, but you have a lot of armor, don't you Elee, right?
Emily
[dangerously sweet tone] I DO have a lot of armor!
Kyle
So, all that energy reverberates through your armor, and he knocks you into the wall of the boat— which now that it's been hit, takes one point of damage.
Emily
No! Nooo!
Hallie
Oh no!
Emily
I’m so sorry, boat!
Kyle
As this guy gets knocked into the boat, it rattles a little bit. And up in the front Hop, you see Mauve continuing to go down this ramp and suddenly she goes,
Kyle (as Mauve)
Aww, shit.
Kyle
And you see a barricade in front of you.
Hallie
Oh no—
Kyle
And Mauve immediately takes this joystick that's between the two of you, that she’s been using to ride the boat— it’s a joystick with a bright red button on top— and shifts it right. And everyone feels their momentum shift to the side, as they tilt almost 45 degrees--everyone except Xoc, of course, because Xoc’s in hell—
[laughter].
— and starts speeding your way into the Seski district, flying through pop-up shops. And frustrated aneens, going, “aneeeeen!”
[laughter].
Hallie
My cabbages!
Kyle
You hear a little, “tha-thump!”, as you turn the corner, if you look behind you— you will all see two tied up individuals lying on the road. One, a tied up Gendarme soldier with electricity— and one, a tied up Vera Layeni, with rope. And they are now both outside of the boat and very much behind you, as you speed away.
Hallie
Alright.
Kyle
Unless somebody really wants to catch Vera, does somebody want to save her?
[brief silence]
Hallie
[Laughs] Crickets!
Emily
[Sighs] Do I have time to ask Mauve— [laughter].
Kyle
No, it's do or die!
Ari
I’m more preoccupied with other things at the moment! So I’m not—
Emily
I’m going to look back at her, like, look at her fly by, and be like,
Emily (as Elee)
[sighs] Do I do it? — Nah!
[laughter].
Kyle
Welp, too late!
Emily
Nah! It’ll be fine!
Hallie
Another day.
Kyle
So you’ve got one Vera and one soldier in the streets; the other four have been busy fighting with the other NPC’s— I'm not going to resolve that— it's just fancy stuff in the background. And you’ve got one in your boat. Elee, you have just let a woman fall to her potential death. It is now your turn!
Emily
She’s not dead; it’s fiiiiine— it’s FINE. She’s fine. So this new soldier has not been attacked by anyone yet?
Kyle
Nope. He’s just hanging out there.
Emily
Ok, I want to try to knock him off the boat by slashing.
Kyle
Alright, you want to cut him off— where are you going to cut him so he falls off the boat? Are you like, cutting his shins so he falls, or?
Emily
No! I’ve got like, my Wolverine claws out, and I'm just going to like, bat him— you know, like cats do!
Kyle
You’re going to bat him, like a cat? [Jokingly] “Eh! Eh! I don’t like you!”
Emily
Yeah, but really really hard.
Kyle
Alright, gimme a roll.
Emily
[voice squeaks] And they’re heavy weapons!
[dice roll].
15!
[9:56]
Kyle
Alright, you successfully slash at this dude, but it's not strong enough to knock him out of the boat. Describe how he responds when you slash him in the face like a cat.
[snickers].
I’m assuming it’s going to be a little stronger than just a simple, “Owww!”
Emily
Just a little bit, since they’re magical steel wolverine claws. I mean, I'd say he probably like reels back and maybe, maybe teeters a little bit, but manages to hold his ground.
Kyle
He finds his footing. He doesn't know if this is a good or bad thing. It might have been better to just fall out of the boat.
Emily
I wanna be like, looking at him. Like I feel like I'm still pretty close.
Kyle
[Attempts to withhold snickers] That’s fair.
Emily
So I just want to be scary looking to him.
Kyle
Yeah, roll me an intimidation.
Emily
I think I have a thing in intimidation— yeah, mmm, I don’t have my sheet.
[dice roll]
[maniacal cackles]
A 19!
Kyle
Okay, so you can describe something that happens: he can either have a difficulty next turn, he can be paralyzed in fear, he can jump off the boat— what do you want, how do you want him to respond?
Emily
I want him to jump off the boat!
Kyle
Alright, he—
Emily
I wanna scare him off the boat!
Kyle
He very gently jumps into the water beneath the boat, and then uses that to propel himself off.
Emily
I want to wave.
Kyle
He waves back for a second, before realizing that he works for the only person in the city scarier than you. Alright, we are going to flash back to Xoc!
[Sounds of rain play]
So Xoc, you now have gravity, you are face down in muddy earth, and when you pick yourself up— you see in front of you a well-built man wearing poorly counterfeited Order of Truth robes— which are currently in the process of burning away to reveal thick, armor dotted with pockets holding enough weapons for 10 men. Do you have any—non-physical—do you have any emotional responses?
Tom
Xoc has difficulty breathing as the memories come back to him, and as he recognizes who these people are. He tries to stand up and get away from them, if they aren't already grabbing him.
Kyle
You stand up, and you’re right, it is people— it was just one, but as Xoc says, “these people,” and the word “they” enters his mind— you hear a scream as a bony woman with thick ooze emanating from her teeth, wearing tubes that criss-cross over her arms as external, artificial arteries, picks up a shovel and clocks you in the face. And as it indents on the side of your face, you hear a crack of thunder
[thunder crackle] and rain starts to pour down from a black empty sky. What--what do you do, in response?
Tom
Xoc tries to crawl away, and raises his hands, to fire off an Onslaught.
[thunder crackles].
Kyle
We, as the audience, hear a crack and a scream, as we switch over to Misha’s turn.
Ari
Aye, so Misha is going to look at all the commotion that’s happening, and then look back at Xoc, and then look back at the commotion— like, back and forth. And then they're going to look at Xoc and be like:
Ari (as Misha)
I think I need-I need to protect you doing this. I will be back!
Ari
And so they are going to grab their bat, and then—so can you give me the layout, of who is where?
Kyle
Yeah, so you've got a one so— you got one soldier who willingly jumped. One soldier, who's currently in the middle of like untangling himself, and I'm going to say— because there are four soldiers fighting the NPC’s, and I'm going to say we're doing so well— I'm going to give one of those soldiers to you. So, there is currently a third soldier, who the NPC's have been fighting, but are having a really tough time with. They are currently on top of the boat and trying to dig their sword into the boat from the top, like they're standing on top of the canopy.
Ari
Okay, Misha is going to look at that soldier. And they’re kind of still not be thinking completely straight, like they’re just going to look at the back to look at the soldier. They’re going to be thinking about Xoc, and like all of these things just merging. And so they’re going to look at the soldier and be like:
Ari (as Misha)
Stay. Away. From us!
Ari
And then is going to grab the bat, and I'm going to approach the soldier, and going to try and clock him in the head with the bat of nails.
Kyle
Are you going to get on top of the canopy too, or you going to like look up from the little hole they’re digging in the top of the canopy?
Ari
I want to get onto the top of the canopy as well.
Kyle
Okay, I'm going to say you can climb onto the top of the canopy, and you see them, and they look at you and you take a swing! Give me a roll.
Ari
[dice roll]
I got a 20 again!
Kyle
I couldn't hear you cuz you were looking away, what did roll?
Ari
I said I got a 20 again!
Kyle
Well! Well, well. Do we want a major effect? Or do you want to do 4 more points of damage, which on top of your current damage, would be a total of 10.
Ari
Mmmm....Can I like, break the, whatever it is, wherever the soldier is standing? So that they, well—
[cloth tearing]
Kyle
Describe how you hit them and break the canopy.
Ari
Well, I suppose they are going to swing the bat so fast that it’s not only going to hit the soldier, but the nails are going to also like pour through the canopy, since it's made of cloth, I’m imagining, right? So it’s going to be like [ripping sound] and tore it?
Kyle
The cloth cuts, and you the soldier go, “AHHhhHHHhhHHHhh—” and the scream continues as they fall down that open hole that Mako had forgotten to close.
Hallie
[laughter].
[15:00]
Kyle
And you hear a splash, and he just turns over and says:
Kyle (as Mako)
I forgot to close that! That's, uh— that's going to be...quite the clean up. Uhh, how are we doing out front?
Kyle
And Hop, you hear him yell that, as it is your turn.
Hallie
How are we doing out front? Like, are there anything—any obstacles in front of us that I could see?
Kyle
It’s doing pretty alright. Mauve is having a trouble navigating through all these shop fronts, and there seem to be a lot of people that are--that are like, getting in the way— who are kinda trying to run away, but are having trouble. She isn't hitting anyone, but the boat is kind of rocking back and forth as she has to pick it up, so she doesn't hit someone in the face.
Hallie
Okay. Then in response to Mako’s question, Hop will be all:
Hallie (as Hopper)
Could be worse!
Kyle (as Mako)
That’s great! You’re doin’ great!
Hallie
Eh. So, there is still one Gendarme in the boat, besides the ones the NPC’s are fighting?
Kyle
There are the three that the NPC’s are fighting. One jumped out of the boat, and one is back with Vera, who you can't see.
Hallie
Ok, and there's no like— are there any Gendarme like, on the sides, that I could prevent from—
Kyle
You could try taking--helping the NPC’s with one of the Gendarme.
Hallie
Okay, I’ll do that. I want to shoot my thing, sniper-style, again. At one of ‘em.
Kyle
Ok, what are you shifting it to?
Hallie
I am shifting it to red.
Kyle
Ok, you feel heat, coarse down the side of this thing. And give me a roll!
Hallie
[dice roll]
17.
Kyle
Alright, that does 4 points of damage, plus an extra point of damage. The element is fire, how do you use fire to defeat this man?
Hallie
This is a--this is close-quarters, right? In the back of the wagon?
Kyle
Yeah.
Hallie
Instead of risking hitting anyone, or like, the sides of the wagon— can I aim it to just behind him, where it would like singe the back of his or her neck, or something, enough to make like a flight or fight response—where it’s like, “oh my god, FIRE,” and then—
Kyle
Yeah
Hallie
I just want to--I want to do that.
Kyle
You hear, “oh my god, FIRE!” as they let go, and they fall off over the side of the ant hill. And they're able to hook on and like, you can see that they lived— but they're going to be so far away, that they can't catch up with you. And you hear a voice in the back of the boat say,
Kyle (as Jesse)
Thank you!
Kyle (as Everett)
Ugh, I could have handled it! I almost hit them.
Hallie (as Hopper)
God, Everett.
Kyle
It is now the enemies’ turn, and not much happens. They’re trying to catch up to you. You actually don't see them yet. You think you're completely clear, and actually Mauve says that:
Kyle (as Mauve)
Well, I think we're completely out of the way, but we best make sure.
Kyle
And she turns over, and you know those little pools with waterfalls you had been going on earlier? That boats had been in? She goes on one of those boats, and jumps off over the waterfall. But the boat doesn't jump off over the waterfall, and instead, seems to be connected to the water so it just pits down 90° and is now moving parallel with the waterfall, down below.
Emily
Are we falling off of it?
Kyle
No, you’re fine. I'm just going to say it just works, don't worry about the— if you want to elaborate it in your turn, you can, but we're just going to say you can all hold on, you’re fine. But now I have a GM intrusion for Hop. Hop, who do you want to give your point to?
Hallie
All of you deserve points for this session. I'm going to give a point to Misha —
Ari
Oh!
Hallie
— for their sweet kazoo playing.
[collective “awh”]
Kyle
So, as you start going down, you start feeling a rain of pebbles down on top of you. And at first, you just think it's cuz you’ve shifted direction— but then you can hear this large scraping of the earth being ripped out above you, and Mako turns up and he's like:
Kyle (as Mako)
Well, that seems about right!
Kyle
And we as the audience are going to flash back for a second.
[clock ticking].
We're going to flash back and look on Vera, lying on the ground, but specifically, we're going to zoom closer and closer— finally, resting at the clock on the back of her hand. For a few moments— many, actually, nothing happens. But eventually the hand quickly jolts up, accompanied by a sharp intake of breath. The hand continues to vibrate as Vera levels her breathing and remembers everything that happened. And it's in these vibrations that we see the hands of the clock start to move. One could, at first, attribute these movements to the movements of the entire hand— but the rotation is so smooth, so methodical, it's quickly clear that the source of the rotation can be nothing but the grooves of the tattooed clock itself. And as these grooves reach midnight, the entire clock rotates and buries itself into the host’s hand, which segments into dozens of pieces. Inside, we see mechanical components twist and turn and fold over one another as the hand bubbles and grows. Doubling, tripling, quadrupling in size until it becomes one giant metal fist, and almost as soon as we see that fist in full— and we hear Vera’s breathing grow courser and harsher and less controlled and rationed. And the fist plunges itself into the ground, and propels its host forward and out of sight. And flashing back to where the rest of you are, you see three individuals. You see the two soldiers, grappling onto the wall and swinging down. And you see Vera Layeni, her eyes wide and wild, basically falling down the side of this waterfall, with one giant fist digging in and scraping down the wall, and slowing her descent.
[clock ticking continues, then stops].
[20:06]
Kyle
Hi, welcome to the announcement break for episode 15: the final, that is F-I-N-A-L, last episode of The Clockwork City arc. My name is Kyle, I GM for the game and keep you company during our announcement breaks. Our intro song today is “Friends,” by Miracle of Sound, and our outro song is “jumping inside,” by [J-Man at R-music box], who you’ll recognize as doing a lot of our main songs. I got a pretty big announcement for you today! So, as I mentioned earlier today is the final episode of The Clockwork City arc, but it is FAR from the final episode of this campaign, of this season. We've got so much more to go, and a lot of it is coming up on our regular schedule. That being said, we do have a couple of things coming up that aren’t really part of the core campaign and our other things we did. So here's a basic rule: if there is an episode number before an episode, then that means it's something important to our central campaign. So for example, we have two memory episodes coming up, which are about Hop, and are very important to the story of this campaign. So basic rule: if you see a number in front of it, and you want to know what's going on, you should probably watch that episode. If you don't see a number in front of it, then you don't need to watch it for the campaign— but I mean, I still think it's going to be pretty good— that might just be me. Our call to action this week is to leave a review! We have done two whole arcs by this point, so I feel like if you’ve listened this far— you've got a pretty good idea of whether or not you like us. And if you do like us, then spread that like...ness. That's not what the word “likeness” means, but spread your affection through either one-click reviews on iTunes or through more lengthy explanations. It'll give us more outreach and let more people hear us! And if you like us, hopefully that's something that you would like— like, like, like, like, like, like. Those are all the announcement I have for you today. The first of the Hopper memory sessions will be “hoppening” on Monday, May 28th. I will see you as always, then.
[Heavy rock music plays]
[23:30]
Kyle
[Gleefully] GET IT?!? I've been waiting so fucking long for the Doomfist reveal; you have no idea!!
Tom
Kyle builds up an entire arc, uses it on an Overwatch joke.
Ari
Doomfist?
Kyle
Uh, there’s a character named Doomfist, whose philosophy is literally the Jagged Dream’s philosophy.
Ari
So you built a campaign around this joke?
Kyle
[Sheepish, yet proud voice] He has a giant, metal fist--
Tom
He has a doom fist—
Kyle
— that he uses to smash! So I gave Vera a giant metal fist— that she uses to smash!
Hallie
Amazing.
Kyle
Alright, Elee, it’s is your turn. You have two soldiers, and a Vera Layeni above you. And, Elee, you hear Mako yell:
Kyle (as Mako)
Yes, someone should do something about that! Uh, she is not in her right mind; negotiation is not a possibility.
Emily (as Elee)
Thank you, Mako, for giving me that information, that I could not gather on my own.
Kyle
He lifts up his fist, and like, one of those forks pops up as a thumbs up, and then he puts his hand back down and continues working on Xoc.
Emily
So how far away is Vera?
Kyle
Uh, she’s probably a short distance above you.
Emily
Like, that I could get to her?
Kyle
She is outside of the wagon, so unless you want to jump out the wagon and hit her.
Tom
She's like superhero-sliding down a waterfall after you—
Emily
Yep, I'm trying to think— because I don't have any ranged weapons.
Hallie
And the Gendarme are also—
Kyle
Yeah, they’re also swinging; they’re not out on you yet.
Emily
[Frustrated thinking noise] Do we have another soldier still on the boat?
Kyle
Yeah, you could probably help out the folks.
[24:59]
Emily
Well, I was just wondering if I could flashback to our time where we were just throwing everyone.
Hallie
[laughter].
Kyle
[Whispers] Flashback!
Tom
Yass!
Hallie
A simpler time, indeed.
Tom
Do it!
Emily
I want to try to grab one of the soldiers by like, the belt and the collar, lifting him up— or her, or whatever— over my head—
Kyle
Yeah!
Emily
—and like chucking them—
Tom
[Victoriously] Seismic Toss!!
Emily
—at one of the other Gendarme soldiers.
Kyle
Okay, you pick one of them up, gimme a roll to see if that throw works.
Emily
Could I spend an experience point to get their their ropes tangled up, or does that, would—
Kyle
I would do that if you successfully roll.
Emily
Ok!
[dice roll]
[cute voice] ba-dup! Eighteeeeeen!!
Tom
Ohhh!!!
Hallie
Yeah, boi!
Kyle
So you grab that soldier, and you throw them up, who are you throwing them at?
Emily
One of the other soldiers— I feel like it's not going to help with Vera, she’s just—
Kyle
Okay, you wrap that soldier in another soldier, who then gets confused, and hits the third soldier. And they all just collapse, and kind of fall down onto an outcropping platform, but all very much knocked out. And now every single soldier is taken care of, and yeah it's--it should be pretty easy from here! ...Except for the Doomfist—
Emily
Yeah, except for Doomfist.
Ari
Yeah, exactly!
All
[Laughter]
Kyle
Alright, Xoc—
[Rain falls, thunder claps]
You hear that cracking, and you hear this woman scream, just, “Get ‘em! Get’ em, Doc!!” And you feel someone forcibly grab onto your back, and lift you up— and you see the small scraggly bearded man, with large spectacles that fold over one another, until about a dozen are in front of his eyes. And he's holding you up by the collar, and he kind of hits you a little bit— and every time he hits you, more images appear. Specifically, more trees appear. First, far away, but closer and closer— these oily, leafless trees that reach out their branches in want of some dark embrace. Keep blipping into existence, getting closer and closer, and more multiple. And as that happens, a little appendage reaches out from the back of this like, headset he's wearing [high-pitched whirring begins] and starts whirring towards your face. What do you do?
Tom
Xoc starts crying and pleading:
Tom (as Xoc)
Please! I didn't--I didn't want fight! Please don't—Please, I don't— Don't--don't do it! Please!
Tom
And he spends his turn sobbing.
Kyle
The man stops, and looks back, and then looks back at you and shrugs with a smile, and says:
Kyle (as Doc)
Eh, I don’t really care much either way!
[Whirring]
Kyle
— and the whirring continues.
[whirring and rain sounds stop]
Kyle
And we are now on Misha's turn.
Ari
Alright, so all of the soldiers are done for—so, what--what is left?
Kyle
You've got...a Doomfist.
Ari
Well, I mean yes. But other than Doomfist—
Kyle
You’ve got Vera, who’s chasing after you, but besides that, there's not much you can do. Basically, what your main thing now is, you could probably try to do some things to--to slow her catching up to you.
Ari
Hmm, I dunno what I can do, uh—
Kyle
Mako’s going to turn over and be like:
Kyle (as Mako)
Listen, I know she's scary, but you kids are tough— just like she's hard to negotiate with, she also has a tougher time dodgin’ anything you do!
Ari
So are you implying that I should just throw something at her?
Kyle
I'm implying that she's--she's not that tough to hit because she has a tough time thinking. Her motor-processing isn't that good.
Ari
I guess— I can throw something at her? Is there any rocks? I don't know what's in this boat!
Kyle
Yeah, what do you want to appear in this boat? Just give me something that appears.
Ari
Uhm, a barrel!
Kyle
Okay—
Ari
Full of nails!
Emily
[laughter].
Kyle
Yeah, there is a barrel— there is a barrel full of nails and Mako looks horrified as you pick it up for a second. And he’s like
Kyle (as Mako)
It’s alright, I can buy more.
All
[laughter].
Ari
Okay—
Kyle
All right, I want you to use “might” to throw a barrel of nails!
Ari
Ah, I am not putting any effort ‘cause I am already at one might, so I'm just going to I guess, roll it!
[dice roll].
— and I rolled 18!
Tom
Holy crap!
Ari
I’m not making this up, I’m just having good rolls today!
Hallie
Woooo!
Tom
Her bad luck turned into good luck!
Ari
Yes!
Kyle
That's--that's going to do 8 damage to Vera, and I'm going to give you a GM intrusion. Who are you going to give the other point to?
Ari
Can I give it to Xoc, even though he's unconscious? I--
Kyle
Yeah— you give the point to Xoc, and Vera screams as this barrel buries nails into her hands. She falls for a second, and in fact, falls onto the boat— and doesn't seem to be very responsive right now? And she definitely did take a lot of damage.
Ari
Good!
Kyle
But she also now has a giant metal fist with a bunch of nails in it.
Ari
That's not good.
Kyle
So as that--as that thump happens, Mauve says
Kyle (as Mauve)
Oh well, I guess I should take care of it myself!
Kyle
And she points over to you, Hop, and says
Kyle (as Mauve)
Alright, just— it’s pretty simple— grab it, move it, don't press the red button till I tell you to; that's our ticket out of here!
Hallie (as Hopper)
[Strained, nervous] Okay!
Kyle
And she jumps into the back of a boat, and you are now piloting this boat!
Hallie
[Pained voice] Okay, that's fine.
[Elevator music plays]
Kyle
Basic rules for vehicles: you use speed to drive the vehicle, unless otherwise specified. There are certain actions that are going to be harder or easier. For example, this boat has bad handling, so tricky maneuvers are going to be tough, but it's very good at speed, so anything you do related to speed will be easier. You now have a boat, so you’ll automatically move forward, but you’ll also— you’ll be able to make a “boat” action and a “Hop action.” Um, because the boat will be your movement.
[30:15]
Hallie
Okay. She's taking her thing, right? Because I'm going to hand her back her cane as she goes back.
[Music fades out]
Kyle (as Mauve)
No, that's fine darling!
Kyle
And she picks up the rapier: she's like:
Kyle (as Mauve)
This is all I need.
Kyle
And you fly down, and as you go down— you’re now at the moat at the bottom of the Ant Hill.
Hallie
Okay.
Kyle
And the boat, as you hit the bottom, pitches back upward and shoots you towards the main city of Charmonde, you know, like the main Venice-style city. But the issue is, you’re going so fast— that you see a small, adorable building right in front of you.
Hallie
Is it--is it— is it the the Penny Brothers??
Kyle
Actually, yeah, no you see a tent, right in front of you.
[laughter].
Hallie
Nooo! I just thought it was them!
Ari
Hallie, no!
Hallie
[Laughter]
I fucked it up, I'm sorry! I thought it was them!
Emily
Now it is! What do you do?
Hallie
What was it before?!?
Kyle
[Nonchalantly] It was just going to be a building, but now it's the tent.
[31:04]
Hallie
[Sadly] Okay. Well, you said “an adorable building,” so I assumed it was something we had seen and liked!
Kyle
Well, now it is!
Tom
[Laughter]
Kyle
How do you respond?
Hallie
[Sarcastically] Yeah, great—good. Um, well, I’d like to...avoid it, if possible. So is that, just like a--like a dodge roll?
Kyle
Yeah, you can do a dodge roll.
Hallie
[Dice roll]
15.
Kyle
Yeah, you successfully swerve out of the way of that, and it kind of flutters up. And from inside, you can hear a voice excitedly say as the tent flutters up,
Kyle (as Haymish)
Tattertop, did ya hear that? I think we have a customer coming in!
Hallie
I'm so sorry for everything that I've ever said and done.
[laughter].
Kyle
So Hallie, are you going to do anything else on your turn?
Hallie
Well, there are no other pressing threats, and Hop is now driving the boat, so I'm just going to stay down there, and drive the boat.
Kyle
Alright, it is now Vera’s turn, and she’s going to kinda like, shake her head a little bit, and look furiously— back and forth at all of you. And then she eventually looks at Mako, and you just hear her— normally very reserved voice— go:
Kyle (as Vera)
[Growling] You!
Kyle
And in a second, you see that giant metal fist reach in, grab Mako,
Ari
Yo.
Kyle
And then let go, as she plants her feet into the ground— and both she and Mako fly out of the back of the boat.
Ari
Yooo!
Hallie
Nooo! Save Mako—
[Thunder rumbles, rain falls]
Kyle
As it happens, we’re going to flip back to Xoc.
[Whirring begins]
Xoc, you have this razor and you’re pleading for help, but it's not doing anything, and it’s whirring faster and faster and faster. And as you can feel the whirring start to cut off strands of your hair, you feel a soft, squishy, moving object underneath your tongue.
Tom
Xoc focuses on the memory, and what he’ll do first is reach up with one hand, and using “onslaught,” just snap the blade arm, snap it in his hand, grab Doc’s head, and then just extend out [spitting sound], and spit the thing onto him.
Kyle
From beneath your tongue, extends this weird, silvery, sluggish object, and it cements itself in the back of Hop’s mouth.
[Rain and thunder abruptly stop]
--Uh, sorry.
Tom
Noo.
Kyle
It cements itself in the back of Doc’s mouth.
[Laughter]
Tom
It got very fanfiction-y there for a second!
All
[Laughter]
Hallie
[Laughing] I got very confused...
Kyle
[Cough-laughing]
Oh, this is--this is what Xoc thinks about all the time!
Tom
I heard Jesse's voice there for a second— I think we know what happened just then!
[laughter].
Kyle (as Jesse, jokingly)
I don't want to spoil okay, I don't want to spoil— I'll let you know when I'm ready, okay? Everett says it's going to take a little bit more effort, but he says--he says it's getting better.
Kyle
Anyways, it gets in the back of Doc's mouth. You feel his every emotion, you--you hear what he--what he thinks, and you just hear, “well, this isn’t what I thought was going to happen.”
Do you do anything else?
Tom
Xoc will just start thinking, “Die, die, die, die—die!”
Kyle
And...he does.
[Ominous music and fire crackling plays]
And I don't need to as the GM say what happens—because Xoc knows what happens. And as the silvery object retracts back into your mouth, and he falls to the ground, everything is clear:
You see the burning wagon, you see the three bodies surround you, the trees, the mud, the rain— and then, the flash of a green plasma grenade. It starts all over again.
[Ominous sci-fi music crescendos].
[35:04]
Ari
Oh no!
Kyle
Meanwhile, you’ve got a giant Doomfist, holding a man who’s very helpful to you. Hop, you should probably be the one the fix this.
Tom
Didn’t Hop just go?
Kyle
Well, actually, I'm just going to kind of let it be free form— so, now you’ve got Vera, holding Mako in this nail-heavy arm. I'm going to let anyone choose, how are you going to get him back?
Hallie
Can I turn the boat around?
Kyle
You absolutely can. Give me a role for handling.
Emily
[Jokingly] If you do not stop fighting, I am going to turn this boat around—
Hallie
I am turning this boat around!
[dice roll].
14.
Kyle
You turn it around easily, and you start racing back towards her.
Hallie
Cool beans.
Kyle
Alright, what are--what are you all going to do, ‘cause right now, we’ve got this boat heading straight for them.
Emily
So she’s got a pretty good grip on him, I’m assuming?
Kyle
Yeah.
Emily
— like I couldn't yank him out, without hurting him?
Kyle
Uh, you could try, but I would say your— Hop is already taken his actions, so I'm going to say that between Misha and Elee, each of you should can make an action to get him out.
Ari
Can something be tossed at her, to let— to— for her to just to let him go?
Emily
Oh, I was going to toss myself.
Ari
Can I toss Elee?
Kyle
Yeah, you can help Elee toss herself. So you get closer and closer, and you look like you're about to hit her, but instead— you go to toss Elee on top of her. And I want each of you to give me a might roll to see how successfully that goes.
Ari
Well…
[Dice roll]
Tom
Heart of the cards!
Emily
[Dice roll]
[Unhappily] 7?
Ari
Ooh! I got a 19, I promise I’m not making these rolls up!
Kyle
A 19? And a 7.
Emily
Yeah.
Ari
I promise I’m not making these rolls up. This dice is amazing.
Kyle
So a 7 wouldn’t work, but assisted by Misha’s 19, you successfully grapple onto Vera and can take one action. What do you want to do?
Emily
As I fly towards her, I want to take my chair and just whack her across the head.
[Shounen anime music plays]
Kyle
Like a motherfucking like, anime protagonist— you slide in, and she lifts up her arm to punch you. And instead of hitting her face, you accidentally hit her in the arm. And the air around you vibrates with this collision, as both of you are flung probably 30 feet behind you, and she just slams into a wall— and lets go of Mako— who stumbles to the ground, stands up, brushes himself off and says:
Kyle (as Mako)
We should go now!
Emily
I want to yell to Misha —
Emily (as Elee)
Get him!
Ari
Ah! I'm going to try and do that, then.
Kyle
Are you going to run out, or is Hop going to drive you over there?
Hallie
I can—
Ari
I wanna run out!
Hallie
Okay.
Emily
[Laughter]
Kyle
Alright Misha, as Hop drifts around and stops,
[Laughter]
—you just jump out and kind of stumble onto the ground and run out to Mako, who starts yelling,
Kyle (as Mako)
I could’ve— I could’ve run to you!
[laughter].
Ari (as Misha)
Elebe advised me to go get you, so that is what I am doing.
Kyle
And as you all get together, you hear Mauve say:
Kyle (as Mauve)
Come on kiddos, ya gotta be going faster!
Kyle
And she goes back to the front of the boat, and just reaches over you, and grabs the cane. And she shifts it over to purple— and she just kind of— she kinda whips the cane around, and she presses in the button. And a gust of wind flies around the boat, whipping onto Elee, Mako and Misha, and basically propelling you like a tornado, back onto the back of the boat.
Emily
I want to say:
Emily (as Elee)
Don't call me “kid!”
Kyle (as Mauve)
Point taken. Alright, Mr. Scotch, if you will.
[anime music fades out].
Hallie
Wha-what does she want me to do? Just—just punch it in overdrive??
Tom
You’re driving the boat.
Kyle (as Mauve)
Drive the boat.
Hallie
I know! But— okay. I’ll tip my hat a little bit, and then do the boat, in response as like, “I hear you.”
Kyle
The boat starts moving back towards the front of the city, towards that top area where you met the tourism boat. And as that happens, everyone else is in the back of the boat, and Xoc is still...and it's not like still where he was earlier, where he wasn't moving— he seems to be locked in place.
Kyle (as Mako)
Well, I won’t lie, this is bad! We should--we should, uh—
Ari
Misha is going to interrupt and be like:
Ari (as Misha)
Fix him!
Kyle
He tries to say something, but fails, and just comes over and is like:
Kyle (as Mako)
Alright, I’m gonna need your help.
Kyle
He points to Misha :
Kyle (as Mako)
You! Grab that.
Kyle
And he points to a pillow on the side of the wall.
Ari
Misha is going to immediately grab it.
Kyle
And then he turns over to Elee and says,
Kyle (as Mako)
You! Start punching him.
Emily (as Elee)
Punching him?!
Kyle (as Mako)
Start punching him.
Hallie
[laughter].
Emily (as Elee)
Uhh, like, hard?!
Kyle
You start tapping him lightly, and he’s like:
Kyle (as Mako)
No, harder, harder— harder—
Ari (as Misha)
Are you sure you know what you're doing?
Kyle (as Mako)
Do you have that pillow?
Ari (as Misha)
I have that pillow. Are you sure you know what you're doing, human?
Kyle
He punches into the pillow, pulls out a handful of feathers, and shoves them into Xoc’s mouth.
Kyle (as Mako)
Do you have—do you have that horrendous music you were playing earlier?
Hallie
[Laughter]
Ari (as Misha)
No, I only have my magical--I only have the magical instrument that pleases humans.
Kyle (as Mako)
That's the exact type I was talking about, that awfully dreadful sound. Pull it out and start playing!
[Kazoo version of the “Miraculous Ladybug” theme song begins]
Emily (as Elee)
Do you want me to...keep punching him?!
Kyle (as Mako)
Yes! And harder—and in fact— Jesse?
Kyle (as Jesse)
Yea-yeah?
Kyle (as Mako)
I know you have a lot of suppressed rage in there—get that going!
[39:57]
Kyle
And Jesse starts punching too.
And Xoc, the memories—
[Thunder and rain resume]
— keep repeating over and over and over again, but suddenly, it changes as the rain starts to clog up, as these thick clouds seem to be blocking it out.
[Energetic orchestral music plays]
The foundation of the earth seems to start shaking with this rhythmic fashion. They're very strong shakes, alternated by very soft but earnest shakes of the earth. Outside, Hop, you are now at the entrance, back where that big staircase is, and those two tall statues. And Mauve turns over and says:
Kyle (as Mauve)
Alright Hop, I need to press that button now!
Hallie
I— press it!
Kyle
From behind you, you hear a bubbling,
[Bubbling sound plays]
as the pond, that the tourism boat is sitting diligently in, starts to fade and fizzle and starts to like, build up and bubble behind you. And eventually all shoots out into an arc. A long bridge of water, that extends far out beyond the plateau that Charmonde is on and far, far into the distance. And everyone, including Xoc, feels a large jolt, as this boat barrels off over this impromptu water rainbow. And for Xoc— the punching, the lack of rain, the movement— it all shatters and shakes, and details start blinking out of existence. First Doc, then the woman, then the wagon, then the trees, and then your own ability to comprehend what's going on—
Ari
Oh no.
Kyle
-- and everything goes black
[Soft plucking cello music plays]
Kyle
Xoc, your vision comes back, but it's blurry and shaky, as you look through your eyes drenched with water. Your lungs are coarse, and your cheeks have been worn dry from days of crying. You've been walking longer than your memory goes back, and your small feet are filled with blisters. Above you, towering like a giant, is a thin robot with an unchanging face, wearing travelers clothing. He’s strange and scary, but you can't help but feel comforted as he looks down at you.
Kyle (as mysterious robot)
Hey, little friend! Are you lost?
Tom
Xoc just nods, trying to sniffle, wipe his tears away.
Kyle (as mysterious robot)
You have a name, friend?
Tom
He just shakes his head “no.”
Kyle (as mysterious robot)
That’s okay! I do. My name is Horus.
Kyle
He looks around a little bit, seeming to try to find anyone, and he says:
Kyle (as Horus)
How would you like something to...eat? That's what it's called.
Tom
Xoc just nods.
Kyle (as Horus)
Well! That sounds good to me too.
Kyle
And then after that, Horus extends a segmented metal hand towards you, his voice almost cracking as he says:
Kyle (as Horus)
An-and don’t you worry, little friend, you're safe now. I'll take care of you.
Kyle
Your future father reaches his hand behind your back, and starts to pick you up as you feel yourself rise, finally able to get some well-deserved rest, Horus’s face fades out of view, and his arm and body are replaced by the soft-skinned face of the auburn-haired boy you saw earlier in your memories. The boy warmly smiles at you and says:
Kyle (as auburn-haired boy)
Hey! How ya feelin’? We almost lost ya there for a moment.
Tom (as Xoc)
I’m...okay? Who are you?
Kyle (as auburn-haired boy)
Oh, uh, right, sorry, I haven't introduced myself in awhile. My name is Loell.
Tom (as Xoc)
What's going on? What happened to everyone?
[More cheerful, pastoral music plays]
Kyle (as Loell)
Well, look around yourself!
Kyle
And you take a look around the room. You’re resting in a soft bed, in a dusty, small cottage. When you left Charmonde, it was near the end of night, but now the morning sun is shining through a window. And outside, you can hear a sleepy town rumbling awake. To your left is a young girl, curled up in deep sleep, and between you as a macaroni drawing that just says, “Get well soon!” with at least half a dozen hearts. And of course, there're your friends. Where is everyone else
Ari
At the risk of sounding creepy— uh, because —
[Laughter]
I know that sounds creepy, but Misha doesn’t sleep, so Misha is just going to have been looking over Xoc pretty much non-stop since we arrived to this place. So they are just going to be by Xoc’s bedside or whatever.
Kyle
Hop, where are you?
Hallie
Uh, he'll be like in a chair by the window, kind of, zoning out, looking out the window.
Kyle
Okay, so he’s zoning out at the window. So Elee, what are you doing?
Emily
I’ve pulled a rag out of my hat and and am like, slowly cleaning my chair with loving care. [Laughter]
Kyle
Well, so at least one of your friends is sitting there with concern for you.
Hallie
[Laughter]
Ari
Misha —when they see that Xoc opens his eyes, then is going to be like:
Ari (as Misha)
He’s awake! Xoc! Xoc are you—
Ari
And then they’re going to send a telepathic message to Xoc, and be like:
Ari (as Misha)
Xoc, are you--are you there? Is this you?? Are you—
Tom
Xoc will quickly turn to the side, ignoring this new kid,
Hallie
[Laughing] “Ignoring this new kid!”
Tom (as Xoc)
I’m so glad to see you’re up Misha! Are you feeling better? I was really worried about you too!
[44:54]
Ari (as Misha)
I-I-I am, I don’t--I don’t know if—I am feeling better, now that you're awake! I--I cannot say for certain that I had been feeling good for a while, but I think I will now.
Emily (as Elee)
[Inhales sharply] Glad you're okay. Uhh...Misha would have been pretty upset. [Coughs awkwardly]
Hallie
Yeah Hopper was zoning out, but when Misha was like, “Oh Xoc, you’re awake!” he would’ve turned over. But then, seeing that Misha and Xoc were having a moment, would have just smiled to himself and kept quiet.
Tom
Xoc will gesture to all three of them to come closer, and if they do, he'll pull them into a hug.
[Closing theme begins]
[Episode ends – 46:17]