• Quest Friends!

Ep. 24: Questionable Measures, Part 6

Updated: Apr 29, 2019

Our heroes stop a heist the only way they know how: by planning a heist.

Listen as they:

SMASH through small-talk!

RECLAIM a ruined promise!

CROP their tops!

Content Warning: Robot slavery

TRANSCRIPT (Downloadable Version)

Previously, on Quest Friends…


[Opening theme, “Friends” by Miracle of Sound, begins.]


Kyle (as Mako)

And we got something conveniently this morning with coupons for it.


Kyle (as Mauve)

It’s a trap, Mako.


Tom (as Xoc)

What do you want with us?


Kyle (as Lorraine)

If you can find me convincing evidence of who plans on stealing Q-BO, then I promise, I will give you access to everything you have a coupon for.


Ari (as Misha)

I am not letting Q-BO be taken away by anybody that he doesn’t want to be taken with.


Kyle

And she put forward a hand and just lifts out her pinky at you.


Tom

Oh no.


Kyle (as Lorraine)

Do we have a deal?


Hallie

No, no, no, no!


[Opening theme intensifies.]


Kyle

So, before we continue, let’s make one thing perfectly clear. Disasters happen all the time in the Ninth World. In the Beyond, the Iron Wind is violently, but silently, tearing up entire villages and turning them into horrific renditions of themselves. In some unknown part of the Steadfast, the leaders of the Jagged Dream are convening and planning their next big target. But the tragedy you’re discussing today is happening in a relatively modest room in a very, very non-modest town. As everyone watches Lorraine leaning over her desk, requesting a pinky promise, once again, from Hopper Scotch.


Hallie

Hopper looks at the pinky and then makes eye contact with Lorraine. And in his mind, Hopper has a skill called Metes out Justice, which allows you to designate a given character as innocent or guilty. Lorraine’s gonna be guilty.


All

[Laughter]


Hallie

Which decreases difficulty by one step of doing things against her. A thing that I would like to do right now is mind reading, because I have that.


Kyle

Yeah, so mind reading is a little different for us than it is in the core rulebook, just because in the core rulebook, it lasts for about 10 minutes, and that’s two episodes sometimes for us. So for us, mind reading is going to be, Hallie is going to roll against me—well, she’s going to roll against Lorraine’s level—and it only costs two intellect. And essentially what happens is if she fails, she gets to ask one yes or no question. If she succeeds, she gets to ask two yes or no questions and one general question. And she can basically do this in any scene that she has. So she does it here, she can’t do it to Lorraine again, but if Lorraine pops up, you know, a little while later, then Hallie can run this ability again. And you said it’s one step easier because you’ve designated her as guilty?


Hallie

Correct.


Kyle

Wow, you’re jumping straight to--straight to the solution of this mystery right away.


Hallie

Don’t worry about it. No, I--uh, it’s fine.


Tom

I mean, I think there’s at least 50% odds that Lorraine hired this person just to make Hopper foil them.


Hallie

Alright, I’m rolling.


[Die rolling.]


Hallie

Thirteen!


Kyle

Alright, and you got one level, right?


Hallie

Yes.


Kyle

Okay. Ask me a yes or no question.


Hallie

Okay. Mm, does she want Q-BO for a specific purpose? Does she have any specific plans for it?


Kyle

No. Ask me another one.


[Mysterious, film noir-esque music begins.]


Hallie

Is she working for someone else?


Kyle

No.


Hallie

Okay. I’m going to write that down. No. No. Cool.


Kyle

Ask me an open-ended question.


Hallie

How happy is she here?


Kyle

Well, honestly she doesn’t like that she needs to be in Roulettia to get her excitement. She misses the excitement she had with you, and you know, she was really disappointed by actually being able to foil you. She wants someone to compete against, to get better against, and—


Kyle (as Lorraine)

Hopper, if you wanted to know these things, you just had to ask.


Kyle

And she doesn’t say that out loud, but she looks at you and you can very much understand that, because you did not succeed in your roll against her.


Tom

[Laughter]


Hallie

Okay.


Kyle

She just let you.


Hallie

That infuriates me so deeply that I can’t respond to it.


Tom

Are you--are you going to be okay, Hallie?


Hallie

No, I’m not going to be okay. Okay, uh—so after—[Laughter]—he’ll make eye contact with her for like, a couple charged seconds while he’s trying to read her intentions here. And then he will say:


Hallie (as Hopper)

I’d like to add an addendum to this agreement. No one here--


Hallie

And he gestures to his party behind him--


Hallie (as Hopper)

Comes to any harm at any time during this—this weird job you want us to do.


Kyle (as Lorraine)

Hopper, it’s Roulettia. You know I can’t promise things I can’t control.


Hallie (as Hopper)

Promise what you can control.


Kyle (as Lorraine)

I promise … that I personally will not bring your innocent friends to harm.


Hallie (as Hopper)

Or your underlings.


[5:00]


Kyle (as Lorraine)

Them too.


Hallie

Okay. He’ll do the pinky promise.


Kyle

Yeah, you do the pinky promise, and then what do you do?


Hallie

He will step back a little bit, and he’s still—he’s very tense. He has a very like, hardened, neutral expression on, and he’ll put his hands back in his pockets and say:


Hallie (as Hopper)

Where do you want us to go?


Kyle (as Lorraine)

Oh, I mean—you’re the investigator. You’re the heroes. I trust you to do it yourself. But good ol’ Bob, I need to give him something to do. He’s got some forms for you. And if you ever want to take a break, I have taken the liberty of reserving two rooms in Tommy Funbuck’s Funhouse and Hotel. And I’ve even taken the liberty of signing them under your name, so you don’t have to worry about any confusion there.


Hallie (as Hopper)

[Sarcastically] Great.


Kyle (as Lorraine)

I believe of the two rooms, yours is 157.


Hallie (as Hopper)

What’s the second room for?


Kyle (as Lorraine)

Oh, whatever you want it to be--


Kyle

Uhh, no, that’s fucking creepy. I don’t want the sex implications.


Hallie

I just--


Kyle

I’m going to X card that and she’s going to—she’s going to wink. That’s what she’s going to do. Take that however you mean.


Tom

This doesn’t feel any less suggestive though.


Hallie (as Hopper)

What is the second room number?


Kyle

Um—


Hallie

I’m sorry, we don’t have to do this. I just thought at first that she had gotten two rooms for us, but then the way she phrased it sounded like one room was for us and the second room was for a different thing, and Hopper wants to know what that thing is.


Kyle

Yeah, and she just winks in response.


Hallie

Okay, that’s fine. I don’t need to know. I’ll know it, because it’s under my name?


Kyle

Yeah, it is under your name.


Hallie

Okay, cool.


Emily (as Elee)

[Tersely] Are we done here?


Hallie (as Hopper)

Yeah, we’re done here.


Hallie

And then Hopper will open the door, not go out himself. He’s going to hold it open for everyone else.


Emily (as Elee)

Everyone out, I need to have a word.


Tom

Xoc will say:


Tom (as Xoc)

Goodbye, Ms. Stiles.


Tom

And then turn around and walk out.


Ari

Misha is also going to say goodbye.


Emily (as Elee)

Hopper, I’ll be right out.


Hallie

He’s going to give her an expression that clearly says “good luck,” and then he’ll go out.


Emily

Elee crosses her arms, and she’s pretty close to Lorraine. Like, she knows that she can’t tower over anyone, but she kind of like, gets as bristly as she can and looks Lorraine dead in the eyes and says:


Emily (as Elee)

I’ve had a really long day. Like, it’s been a really, really shitty morning.


[Dramatic music begins.]


It’s been really stressful. I have so many children right now. Look, I don’t know what all your history with Hop is, but you need to stop playing games right now. Stop messing with his head. Stop.


Kyle (as Lorraine)

You know, in doing my research, I found a great admiration for you, Elee Badge. Independent, hard working, and not ever hesitating to take the offensive.


Kyle

And she leans in and stands up and she smiles and she says:


Kyle (as Lorraine)

I will say, for being so bad at it, you’re awfully invested in protecting people.


Emily (as Elee)

[Sighs, as if trying to stop herself from coming to blows.]



[Beat]



Hallie

Oh, we all just went silent. [Laughter.]


Emily

No, the sound wasn’t broken, none of us could say anything.


Hallie

We all just went silent.


Emily

Dead.


Hallie

Holy shit.


[Laughter]


[Dramatic music resumes.]


Emily

Elee is going to shoot out her claws and punch the wall right by Lorraine’s head.


Kyle

She doesn’t move.


Emily

Yeah, I didn’t think she would.


Emily (as Elee)

Stop. I’ve got the claws. I’ve got the muscle. You’ve got a big mouth. That’s all.


Emily

I want to yank my claws out of the wall, hopefully taking off some of the wood siding if possible.


Kyle

Oh, it’s very brittle. Like, it comes off and you can see some of the aneens racing by. It looks like this is literally on the side of the race track.


Emily (as Elee)

Lorraine, I’ve killed people—a lot of people—and if you set one finger or keep mouthing off like you have been, messing with their heads, I will come and kill you. And I just want you to know that.


Kyle (as Lorraine)

Elee. Elee—


Emily (as Elee)

No. You don’t get to talk. We’re done here. And you are done with Hopper.


Kyle

As you leave, she’s just going to say:


[Music stops]


Kyle (as Lorraine)

Oh, just one last thing. A man who froze a town, a globe-trotting mass murderer, and every villain’s favorite puppet. With your company, I don’t think I’m the one you need to worry about.


Emily

Yeah, no. I think Elee’s worked up enough at this point. She’s just going to yell:


Emily (as Elee, shouting)

Shut up!


Emily

And shoot out her claws back at Lorraine.


Kyle

Okay, give me a roll.


Emily

Okay.


[Die rolls.]


Emily

[Laughter.] …three. Elee’s very bad. She’s not aiming very well.


Kyle

Um. Yeah, it shoots above her and pulls out another board. And she just looks at it and looks back at you.


Emily

I’m just going to leave.


Kyle

Okay. Hop—


[Mysterious, film noir-esque music resumes.]


Kyle

During this...conversation, you actually probably hear some of the violence above. And you walk down and you see, uh, Mac is not back yet. But you look around and you see Regular Bob, and you also see the guy who had been really insistent that you play hopscotch. The one with the circular sunglasses that last episode I named as Ashen. You finally recognize that he’s here too, because of course he is. And as this violence is happening above, Regular Bob just says:


[10:07]


Kyle (as Regular Bob)

Uh, well, that is, ha! That sounds like that was heated. But anyways, Ms. Stiles has some packets for you in case you need anything.


Kyle

And he hands forward a packet of information that each of you will get to choose one piece of information you want to have in it.


Hallie

This is Regular Bob speaking? Or hopscotch guy speaking?


Kyle

This is Regular Bob.


Hallie

Okay.


Kyle

Hopscotch guy is just sitting there in the corner twirling his, uh, his pearls. He seems actually a little pouty that Mac got you here so easily and that he struggled so hard.


Hallie

Ha! Yeah, well, Hop is going to see him when he comes back into the room and go:


Hallie (as Hopper)

Oh, you again.


Kyle (as Ashen)

Yes, it is me. Awfully glad you finally decided to come. Actually even remembered who I was.


Hallie (as Hopper)

What do you mean, finally? I came here right away.


Kyle

He’s just going to pout, ‘cause he’s a pouty boy. And he’s going to like do the whatever shrug. And then Regular Bob will have said all the stuff that he said.


Hallie

Yeah, and then Hop’s going to turn back to Regular Bob and, um, take one of the files.


Kyle

Okay. Are you going to wait for Elee, like with these guys? You going to go outside? What are you all going to do?


Hallie

I’m going to wait in the room.


Tom

Yes, same.


Kyle

Yeah, so you’re there for a little bit, and then finally you see Elee come fuming down, with a board attached to one of her hands, and Regular Bob just goes:


Kyle (as Regular Bob)

Oh, uhh, looks like it was one of those visits!


Kyle

And he reaches into the desk and he just pulls out a plank of wood, and he just starts walking up to fix Lorraine’s office.


Emily

I want to hit the wood out of his hands.


Hallie

[Laughter.]


Kyle (as Regular Bob)

Alright. Tensions are a little bit high. I’ll uh, I’ll wait until everyone leaves.


Hallie (as Hopper)

Yeah, she’s got a way of pissing you off, doesn’t she?


Emily (as Elee)

Sure does. Any bars around here?


Tom

This is Roulettia. Every other house you come to is also a bar.


Hallie (as Hopper)

Xoc’s right. Let’s get out of here.


Ari

Um, I—


Tom

That was out of character, though.


Hallie

Oh! [Laughter.]


Tom

But that was not a normal Xoc thing to say.


Hallie

I was like, that’s a little weird.


Kyle

Well it’s in character now. What do you say, Misha?


Ari (as Misha)

Uh, although I still do not agree with the ending of the life of a human, I must confess I have some hopes of that this Lorraine was a bit hurt by your conversation, and not only in the metaphorical sense, but the physical sense.


Hallie

Hopper’s laughing to himself.


Tom

Xoc will sort of like, nervously looking at the ground, say:


Tom (as Xoc)

Did she...hurt you, Hopper Scotch?


Hallie

Hopper will shrug that off and say:


Hallie (as Hopper)

Nah. I mean, not for lack of trying. We—we—we—it—it’s fine. It’s fine.


Emily

Elee is nodding from behind Hopper.


Tom

Xoc doesn’t look convinced, but he’ll let the matter drop.


Ari

Misha will say—Misha then is going to extend their pinky finger and say:


Ari (as Misha)

Is this a specific code that you two seem to have? Is this a thing that acquaintances from a long time ago possess? I was just slightly confused as she had it towards you, Simon Scotch.


Hallie (as Hopper)

Yeah, that’s called a pinky promise, which just is a promise between two folks.


Ari (as Misha)

Ah. Now that’s a very interesting ritual that humans do. Does it have any magical properties?


Hallie (as Hopper)

No, uh—kids, kids, kids—


Ari (as Misha)

It’s very interesting.


[A slower version of the opening theme, “Friends” by Miracle of Sound, begins]


Ari

And then Misha is going to still hold their extended pinky at him and say:


Ari (as Misha)

Well I do the promise pinky at you that we will not let this Lorraine hurt you any longer.


Tom

Xoc will add his pinky to the promise.


Hallie

Oh no! Hopper is genuinely touched right now. Uh, yeah, and he’ll extend one pinky towards Misha and then one pinky towards Xoc and he’ll cross his arms like the original handshake. But do it in a pinky promise.


All

Awww.


Ari

Bringing things back!


Emily

Elee’s going to just really, really briefly like, cup her hands over each pinky promise and then walk off, out the door.


Hallie (as Hopper)

[Slightly choked up] Thanks, guys.


Kyle

So you’re going to a bar? Are you still going to a bar?


Hallie

I want to go to a bar. That sounds like fun.


Emily

I want to go to a bar, too.


Kyle

Okay. How do you seek out this bar?


Hallie

We just look up and down the street.


Emily

Yeah.


Hallie (as Hopper)

Is there a bar nearby? Let’s go.


Kyle

Yeah, you see a very brightly decorated bar. It looks like there’s a bar right next to this stand that you can’t really read from a distance—


[Slow, wandering music beings.]


Kyle

But Misha and Xoc, you would recognize as another piPod stand.


Tom

[Laughter]


Emily (as Elee)

Let’s go get a drink.


[Music transitions into guitar-driven theme.]


[15:00]


Kyle

Hello and welcome to the announcement break for Episode 24, Questionable Measures Part 6. I am Kyle, your GM, and today we’re going to talk about announcements like we usually do. So to start off, our intro and outro music are “Hitoshio” and “Friends,” both by Miracle of Sound. I also want to remind you that if you Tumblr or Tweet out with the hashtag #QuestFriends, then you’ll be added to a name pool that I will be using to name people, items, and basically anything I don’t already have a name for. We just recorded a session yesterday where I used, I think, two names, and I’ll let you know when those sessions come up. So I really am pulling from that pool, and I want more names to pull from. So please tweet out. Another benefit of following us on social media is you might have learned that in celebration of our one year anniversary, which is today, right now, this very second, we’re having a two-part celebration. And it’s time for us to talk about part one.

So to celebrate our one year anniversary, the first thing we’re going to do is on Friday, October 5th, so that’s not this Friday but the next one, at 8:00pm Central Time, we’re going to be having a Q&A session and raffle. The Q&A portion is pretty self-explanatory. Send us questions via social media, via our e-mail questfriendsquestions@gmail.com, or via the form link below. And we’re just going to hang out with you and talk about some of those questions. But in-between those questions, we’re also going to be raffling off a handful of items. So before I get into how you can enter that raffle, let’s go over to Kyle to see what the items for today are. Take it away, Kyle!


[Upbeat, showy music begins.]


Kyle

Thanks so much, Kyle! So on that stream on October 5, we’ve got five prizes for five lucky winners. Our first item is a handmade, personalized Everett beanie dice bag made by our friends over at Pixel Plush Dolls. This colorful and unassuming beanie is backdropped by the dark, empty void of your soul. Our second raffle-off item will be a personalized character sheet for your character in the system of your choice, drawn and written out by our own Emily Strawn. For our third item, do you like our main series? Do you like our side series? Do you love our logos? Because we know we do! That’s why we’re putting the logos for Quest Friends and the Cookie Crew, drawn by Mandy Robertson, on personalized shirts. Only you and the actual performers for these episodes will have these shirts. But let’s say you want something even more personalized. Well, our winner for prize number four will be able to work with Kyle to design an actual, real NPC that Kyle will play in the Quest Friends game. And finally, behind door number five, is another locked door. For those of you who want to get in on part two of our celebration for absolutely free, you can register in the raffle for our mystery prize. So once again, those prizes are an Everett beanie dice bag, a personalized character sheet, two shirts for the price of none, a customized NPC, and the mystery prize. Oohhhh. For more information on these prizes and how to enter the raffle, follow the link below. Back to you, Kyle.


[Music fades out.]


Kyle

So that’s right. We’re giving away five prizes. We tried to create things that were really personalized, and things that we thought listeners of our show would really like. Because we want this to be a celebration of you all, who have, you know, been with us either this whole time or relatively recently. No matter when you hopped in, we’re just really excited that you’re here to celebrate this one year anniversary with us. So, to enter the raffle or submit questions, all you have to do is select the link below. We’ll also be posting it up all over social media. It will be on our website, I’ll make an individualized page for it. And that’s going to take you over to a survey. The survey is 100% optional. You don’t have to fill it out, but it’s going to contain important information so that we understand what brings people to our show and what we can do to really market ourselves and find more folks to enjoy this thing that you enjoy, and also help improve your enjoyment of it as well. So we’d highly encourage you to fill it out. If you fill it out, once you select the submit button, it will pull up a little prompt that will give you the link to the raffle submission page, or on the top of that survey document it will also have a link to the raffle page, if you’d rather just jump straight into the raffle. And on either of the forms, you can submit Q&A questions if you’d like as well. The reason they’re separate is because we want to make sure that we have the very anonymous survey be separate from the by its nature non-anonymous raffle entry. So that’s what we’ve got for you today. Again, that Q&A stream is going to be on Friday, October 5, at 8:00pm Central Time. The survey and raffle will be open until the very second that starts. So once it hits 8:00pm, the raffle is going to be closed. So make sure you get yourself in before then.


[20:00]


Other than that, we’ve got the rest of our episode going. Next Monday, we’ve got the second part of the Cookie Crew, and then the Monday after that, we have the next part of the core campaign.


[Slow, wandering music resumes.]


So whether it’s for the Cookie Crew, the next part of the campaign, or the Q&A session, we will see you then.


[Music continues]


Ari (as Misha)

Oh look, this is another one of those piPod places. If you’re hungry, you could get some more.


Hallie (as Hopper)

What’s a piPod?


Kyle

Hop, you see this piPod stand, which kind of looks like a “make your own calzune,” except it’s surprisingly colorful, which is very weird.


Hallie

Oh, it’s like a sweet calzune!


Kyle

And then, if you want a beer, I’d say that would cost one shin for whoever wants one.


Hallie

I want a scotch.


Emily

I want to go up to the bar and ask for the strongest alcohol they have.


Kyle

Yeah, you get that for free, actually, because the strongest alcohol they have is one of those challenges that you get it for free and you get a t-shirt if you drink it and you don’t die.


Emily

[Laughter] Imma drink it.


Kyle

I’m just going to say for the sake of simplicity, since we all know Elee won’t die drinking this.


Tom

Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.


Hallie

Yeah, Elee’s got this.


Emily

She’s got a high composure/resistance to torture.


Kyle

Yeah, you certainly get that and you also get a free t-shirt. How cool for you!


[Triumphant music riff]


Emily

I toss the free t-shirt at Misha, because they got their new t-shirt and I figure they like clothes.


Ari

I want to say that they are going to put it over the t-shirt that they already have right away, but it’s probably not tall enough for Misha, because Misha is pretty tall, so it’s going to be like, arriving up to like, here.


Kyle

Yeah, it’s a midriff shirt, but it’s designed for Elee, so it’s very wide. So it’s just like you’ve got this like little – it’s like you’ve got a shirt dress that only goes down to like your midriff.


Emily

That was like a style in the 80s.


Kyle

Yeah, it’s like one of those.


Emily

Like, the exercise videos.


Tom

Yeah, this feels like a functional style. Like, a half shirt over another shirt. I can see this.


Hallie

Misha’s just stuffing themselves with clothes, like every episode; it’s fine.


Kyle

Alright. And then you all can take a seat and look at your stuff.


Tom

Do we need to say now like what piece of information we want to get from the files, or is this—


Kyle

Whenever you open the file and look at it, or like, you can look at the file and then tell me later, hey, here was a piece of information I wanted from the file.


Hallie

Okay.


Tom

Yeah, so Xoc will look around and say:


Tom (as Xoc)

We need to save Q-BO.


Ari (as Misha)

I will not allow another machine to be taken without their will. Regardless of what happens, I am going to protect this machine and not allow it to be stolen.


Tom

Xoc nods vigorously and says:


Tom (as Xoc)

Yes, that’s why we need to steal it ourselves.


Hallie (as Hopper)

I’m with ya, Xoc.


Emily (as Elee)

Okay.


Hallie (as Hopper)

I’m with ya.


Tom (as Xoc)

And all Lorraine asked for was evidence of who was going to steal it. We can foil the heist, do our own heist, and still get our reward from Lorraine.


Ari (as Misha)

Oh, I was certainly thinking about the exact same plan.


Kyle

[Jokingly] It’s almost like our minds are connected!


Hallie

I’m just gonna say,


Hallie (as Hopper)

Glad we’re all on the same page.


Emily (as Elee)

So I was boiling in rage the whole time. Does anyone want to tell me where we start?


Hallie

Hopper will open his file.


[Propulsive, mysterious music begins.]


Hallie

My information is going to be just anyone who has expressed interest in Q-BO in the past, like has maybe tried to buy him before the auction.


Kyle

Uh, yeah, there’s a couple of files. You know that Tommy Funbuck is very anxious about Q-BO being sold.


Hallie

Okay.


Kyle

He is the only person in the town Lorraine has not been able to get a beat on. He’s a very, very secretive man.


Hallie

Mm-hmm.


Kyle

And having a robot designed for his city that inevitably has that information somewhere is not in his best interests. He’s also very, very close to the event. There’s a file saying that JET.CO has a stake in it. Not because they care about Q-BO, but because they’re very protective of their programming.


Hallie

Okay.


Kyle

They don’t want their “amazing” programming, and let’s be honest, their robots are subpar at best—they don’t want that amazing programming to get into the wrong hands. And the wrong hands for them are anybody but their own.


Hallie

Mm-hmm.


[24:55]


Kyle

Your heart dips a little bit as you see the last name, because you know Xoc was really excited about it. You see that the last suspect who is also very involved in the show would be the Great Vespari. Turns out he’s a con man who pretends not to be a Nano but actually is.


Hallie

Okay.


Kyle

And it seems like that is the whole shtick of him and a sibling of his who does similar magic. He’s really invested in keeping their secret, because that’s really the only thing that keeps him afloat. So all three of those parties, it looks like they have information they want to be kept secret, which someone who has Q-BO might be privy to.


Hallie

Okay, but remind me again, JET.CO is the one auctioning off the robot.


Kyle

Yeah, that is a bit weird, and you can see that JET.CO has put in a bunch of stooges to bet on it on their behalf, but Lorraine is still by far the most likely to be able to afford him. Like she is filthy fucking rich.


Hallie

Yeah, like how much is he going for.


Kyle

He’s going for millions of scratch.


Hallie

Okay. So Hopper will open that up and just say:


Hallie (as Hopper)

Well, there are a few people who might be interested in the robot, or interested in stopping them. I don’t know what Lorraine needs it for, but I’m not sold on her motives.


Hallie

I’m going to add Lorraine to my file, like, with a pencil.


Kyle

Okay.


Hallie (as Hopper)

Lorraine.


Kyle

What motivation are you going to put next to her?


Hallie

Question mark, question mark, question mark? [Laughter.] And then if he has, like, a clicky pen, he’s going to like [clicking a pen at a high rate of speed] be clicking it anxiously as he writes it down and thinking.


Hallie (as Hopper)

[Clicking his pen and thinking to himself.]


Emily

Elee’s going to peer over at that and be like:


Emily (as Elee)

I don’t disagree, but do you think maybe you’re a little biased?


Hallie (as Hopper)

I’m absolutely biased, although I prefer to refer to it as experienced.


Emily (as Elee)

Okay, good.


Tom

So Xoc wants to know, like—


[Mysterious music begins.]


Tom

How is Q-BO being sold and transported? Because Q-BO is like, in kiosk stations all over the city, so how—is Q-BO being like downloaded onto a flashdrive or something? Stuck around? They have like a kiosk ripped out that they’re going to ferry around that’s like the master kiosk or something?


Kyle

Well it turns out Lorraine had referred to Q-BO as “that cute little robot” a couple of times. And that’s because he actually is very small. So Q-BO is in the very top of that chess piece building in the middle of town. It looks like above the casino, above the hotel, at the very top there is a giant exhibit hall where they’re going to be hosting the exhibit tonight, and one of the rooms has a giant auction hall. It looks like in a room up above that auction hall, like at the very tip of the building. Because you know how like, queen chess pieces usually have that ball on the top? Up in that very top, he’s an adorable little ball on a stand, and this stand is kind of connected to all the kiosks.


Tom

Okay.


Kyle

So he’s centralized there, and they’ll probably just pull him out and plug in his replacement. And they’re going to do that immediately as the show starts. Like that platform is going to go straight down.


Ari

I guess I had a follow-up question to that, and that is, what is the security around that place? How—like are there like shifts? Are there like a bunch of guards, or is it like a mostly unprotected area?


Kyle

Yeah, so security is pretty tight right now. They’re setting up the show, and, you know, there’s a whole lot of workers. And it seems that Roulettia has this general distrust of--like, the more working class someone is, the more they seem to have a distrust of them, which is completely unfounded, but it’s there. So a lot of the people setting it up, it looks like they’re going to have high security right now as they set up the event. But then when the event starts, it looks like most of the guards are going to shift out, and security is going to be a lot lighter. Just because they don’t want to freak people out, right? They don’t want to make people worried. So security is going to get a lot lighter when the show starts. And if you want, you can get an asset on trying to figure out where specific guards are placed at specific points whenever you go to that area.


Ari

Yeah.


Kyle

I just don’t have a map written out right now.


Ari

Okay.


Kyle

But it looks like they shift out occasionally. One thing to note, though, is that she has written down “must be very careful. They will be within the guard.” And next to it, you see a drawing of a clock, of a raptor swooping downwards, and of a serrated blade.


Tom (as Xoc)

[Sighs.] The Jagged Dream. The Jagged Dream is trying to steal Q-BO.


Emily (as Elee)

Yeah, that sounds about right.


Hallie (as Hopper)

Mm.


Tom (as Xoc)

I think Lorraine already knows who is actually trying to steal it and is just toying with us.


Hallie (as Hopper)

That’s...that’s her way. So I guess we have to figure out how to stop the Jagged Dream from getting it, by getting it first.


Kyle (as Loell)

Okay, wait, I’m-I’m confused. Are we stealing the robot, or are we stopping the theft of the robot?


Kyle

And Xoc, you can see Loell just leaning over you, looking at the paperwork.


[Jaunty, mischievous music begins.]


Tom

Xoc will just turn to Loell and say:


Tom (as Xoc)

It’s both of those things.


Tom

And then he’ll look back at everyone else and be like:


Tom (as Xoc)

[Whispering] It’s him again.


Emily

When Xoc mentioned that Loell was there, Elee just kind of like half-heartedly punched the air where she thought he might be. She’s still just very upset.


Kyle

He reflexively says:


Kyle (as Loell)

Ow!


[30:00]


Tom (as Xoc)

We’re doing both, because we want to steal it first, and we have a better chance of doing that successfully if we know how and when the Jagged Dream is going to try to do it, if they’re trying to do it.


Kyle (as Loell)

Oof. Jagged Dream, I recognize that name. Is that what we’re doing? Are we saving the world from the Jagged Dream? Because I am in! …How does stealing a robot relate to stopping the Jagged Dream?


Tom (as Xoc)

You know about the Jagged Dream? I don’t think we talked about it much after you were in my head.


Kyle (as Loell)

Well, I haven’t been in your head long. I mean, I just got you to tell me about yourself. The Jagged Dream—nasty, nasty folks. I mean, not a big thing to be taken seriously. They’ve got like what, one cell?


Tom (as Xoc)

No, no—we’ve heard three cells.


Kyle (as Loell)

Oh! Good for them. I mean, bad for them—I’m—


Tom (as Xocl)

[Sighing] I know what you meant. Hmm. I don’t suppose you have any relevant thoughts about stealing from the biggest building in a city?


Kyle (as Loell)

Well, I mean, I can’t say I have much experience from it. Will say though, Tommy Funbuck—can’t believe that guy is still around. He’s not going to let anyone into his tower easily. That guy does not like good people. But if you can get into his company, you can get basically anywhere.


Tom (as Xoc)

Mm.


Kyle (as Loell)

Not that I’m suggesting, you know, you become bad guys. I can’t go along—well I guess I’m going to have to go along on the ride for that—but I would like not to if possible, you know what I’m saying?


Tom (as Xoc)

No, I appreciate it. And we don’t have a lot of time now, because we have to get this plan underway, but remind me later. I’ll tell you more about myself if you want.


Tom

And then he looks at the rest of the party and says:


Tom (as Xoc)

Everybody should hear.


Kyle

He looks sincere. This like jokey face goes away for a second and he says:


Kyle (as Loell)

Well thanks, man. I really appreciate that.


Kyle

And then he disappears.


Tom (as Xoc)

So Loell brought up the idea of getting close to Tommy Funbuck to get us into the building. But he said that Tommy Funbuck does not like good people. So I don’t know if that’s—


Ari (as Misha)

How is it that Loell knows so much about that?


Tom (as Xoc)

I don’t know. And he left before I asked. But I wonder—I just wonder how old the two of them are, Loell and Tommy Funbuck. He said some weird stuff.


Hallie (as Hopper)

Like what?


Tom (as Xoc)

He just can’t seem to remember what time he’s from, and I kind of get the feeling that things have changed around here. He knew about the Jagged Dream, but none of his information was accurate to what they’re like now. So who knows?


Ari (as Misha)

Well, we certainly should explore more about the past with this Loell, after we solve our current problem.


Tom (as Xoc)

Agreed.


Emily (as Elee)

[Drunkenly] You said Tommy Funbuck doesn’t like good people. You guys are screwed, but you should just send me right in there. I got this. I’m a terrible protector, I’m a terrible mother, I’m a terrible partner.


Hallie (as Hopper)

Oh my God, that’s right, do—


Kyle

Hey, do you want to take a GM intrusion, Emily?


Emily

Yes.


Kyle

Who are you going to give that other point to?


Emily

Misha for being savage earlier on in this session.


Kyle

Yeah, because as you say all those things—


[Mysterious, pensive music begins.]


Kyle

You hear a very faint, high voice just kind of do a little ah-ha, like a little cough behind you. And you just see it’s Soe nervously standing there, holding an envelope.


Emily

I’m going to turn around and:


Emily (as Elee)

Hi, Soe. I’m just talking about how I’m a terrible mother to you, and that you deserve a better person in your life to help and protect you. How are you today? I mean, how are you now? I know earlier you were kind of upset.


Kyle (as Soe)

Oh—uhh, no, I’m-I’m good. I just, you know, you’re not—you’re not a terrible mom. I just, you know, I thought since we just met—I mean, you told me to-to stay inside, but I thought maybe I could spend some time with you while you’re here.


Hallie

Hopper is giving an encouraging thumbs up to Elee.


Emily (as Elee)

Well, I would like that. Um, I’d rather not take you along on a heist, [trailing off sheepishly] but um—


Tom (as Xoc)

Who is this?


Hallie (as Hopper)

Yeah, Elee, do you want to—


Emily (as Elee)

Oh. Um, oh, yeah.


Ari

Misha is going to introduce themselves.


Kyle (as Soe)

Hi. Are these your other children?


Emily (as Elee)

Sure are.


Emily

Elee is looking down into her nearly empty cup.


Ari

Misha’s going to say:


Ari (as Misha)

I do not believe I am a children of you, Elee B.


Emily (as Elee)

Don’t worry about it. This is Soe.


Kyle (as Soe)

[Nervously] Hi, I’m Soe. Oh, shoot! You already said that.


Emily (as Elee)

No, it’s okay! You did a good job.


Ari (as Misha)

Salutations!


Tom (as Xoc)

My name is Xoc! Hi!


Kyle (as Soe)

Hi. Um, oh, June—June wanted me to give you this note.


Kyle

And she hands you an envelope. It is one of the letters with sounds, and it has nothing except for the sounds of knuckles cracking.


Tom

I didn’t know you could write onomatopoeia so clearly.


Kyle

June is a very talented woman, alright? Don’t let her like, brash nature confuse you. She is a woman of culture.


Emily (as Elee)

I like that lady.


Emily

So are we on seats, like chairs or benches?


Kyle

You’re on—


Tom

I figured it was like a booth.


Kyle

Yeah, let’s go with booth.


[35:02]


Emily

Okay, I’m going to scoot over and pat the bench next to me.


Kyle (as Soe)

Oh, okay!


Kyle

And she sits down, but she does that thing where, you know, you’re really nervous about taking up too much space—


Emily

It’s so where you’re like, your butt’s just on the edge?


Kyle

You have half of your butt on the seat, half of it off. And she’s just there trying to make herself as small as possible. And she’s also clearly very anxious that she’s on the outside edge of the booth.


Ari (as Misha)

Oh, uh, so Soe, under what context do you know Elee B. as an acquaintance?


Kyle (as Soe)

Oh, um—she’s actually not an acquaintance. She’s my mom.


Emily (as Elee)

Sure am!


Kyle (as Soe)

Yeah, she and my dad met, uh, awhile ago, and—


Emily (as Elee)

Sure did!


Ari (as Misha)

Oh, oh, that’s certainly interesting. Well, um—


Kyle (as Soe)

[excitedly] Yeah, it is! Uh, actually, do you want to see some photos of them?


Kyle

And she just pulls out this fucking portfolio of pictures that they took on their one-night stand, because again, her dad was very, very romantic.


Emily

I want to just slide the photos over to where I am and like, you know when you like, make that motion with your hands to shoo?


Kyle

Yeah.


Emily

I’m going to do that and—


Emily (as Elee)

Get up, one sec.


Kyle (as Soe)

Oh, okay.


Kyle

And she stands up.


Emily

Okay, I get out of the booth and then like, kind of usher her in to go on the inside.


Kyle (as Soe)

Okay!


Kyle

Who else is sitting? Because I’m assuming you’re not all sitting on the same side?


Hallie

I know.


Kyle

And just Elee’s sitting there like, with her fucking feet up?


Hallie

[Jokingly] This is my bench!


Tom

I figure Xoc was sitting on the opposite side of the bench from where Elee and Soe were.


Ari

I was thinking of Misha also sitting on the opposite side?


Hallie

Yeah, I was thinking of Hop sitting next to Elee, so it looks like we’re all on the same page.


Kyle

Anyway, so she’s going to shuffle in between Hop and Elee and be like:


Kyle (as Soe)

Oh, h-hi again, Mr. Scotch.


Hallie (as Hopper)

Hi, Soe. Nice to see you again.


Hallie

Also, Hop is very interested in these pictures.


Tom

Meanwhile, Xoc has just had a dumbfounded expression on his face since Soe said that Elee was her mom. He just turns to Elee and is like:


Tom (as Xoc)

You have a daughter?!


Emily (as Elee)

Surprise! It was for me, too!


Tom (as Xoc)

You didn’t know? This is wonderful! You have a family! I’ve never had one before. That’s amazing. I’m really happy for you.


Emily

Elee’s face just goes blank, and like, any color just goes straight out of her face.


Hallie (as Hopper)

Elee found this out, what, like two hours ago? Something like that?


Tom (as Xoc)

Oh...


Kyle

Soe’s going to pull out like an adorable little planner, and is going to be like:


Kyle (as Soe)

Um, so, I—I don’t know what you like, but I looked up a couple of things that could be fun. There’s the rollercoaster, but that’s too dangerous.


Emily (as Elee)

No, you’re not going on that, Soe.


Kyle (as Soe)

There’s--there’s the Great Vespari show, but the next one isn’t for two hours, and that’s too dangerous. Oh! There’s the parade! Those are only dangerous if you stand in the way.


Hallie (as Hopper)

Elee, if you want to go with Soe, you know, that would be understandable. You know, I think, uh, we’ve got this covered if you want to go bond with your daughter?


Ari

Misha is going to motion just to see some of the pictures, and then they’re going to ask:


Ari (as Misha)

Oh, um, is Soe’s father also around? And could we potentially also meet that acquaintance?


Kyle (as Soe)

Oh.


Kyle

Soe has a response, but do you want to describe what you’re looking like as she responds?


Tom

I assume it’s what Emily is looking like right now.


Hallie

Yeah.


Kyle

We just need a word picture for the pain that Emily is in.


Tom

Oh right, the audience.


Emily

Oh, um—how do I describe my face right now? Um, Elee’s just, like, you probably have never seen her hands folded so neatly. And they’ll be folded really neatly. And then they’ll like go up and like she’ll kind of like put her face in her hands, or like touch her face or something, and then go back to very neatly folded, and just kind of go back and forth with that. And she’s not saying anything.


Kyle

As you do that, Soe is going to just kind of look really sad, and she’s going to say:


Kyle (as Soe)

Well, uh, he’s not...around anymore. But a couple of months ago, I met June and Steven, and they’re super great! I don’t think they really want to go to the parade? June says that Tommy Funbuck is a crook and a phony. But I don’t know, I really like the parade. I like the floats and the music, and maybe we could go see June and Steven after the parade. I mean, if you want to go. I understand if you don’t.


Tom (as Xoc)

Maybe, Soe, do you want to help us on our adventure?


Emily (as Elee)

No, Xoc. She’s not adventuring.


Hallie (as Hopper)

You know, Elee, if you want to take Soe to the parade, you could meet Tommy Funbuck.


Emily (as Elee)

That’s probably pretty safe, right? I’ll take you to the parade, but you have to promise to stay right next to me. And Xoc—Soe is not coming on any adventures. Adventures are dangerous. I don’t want any of you dragging her off on crazy capers. We’ll find safe things to do for Soe.


Tom

Xoc just nods, wide-eyed.


[40:02]


Hallie

Hopper’s going to say:


Hallie (as Hopper)

If you want to take them to the parade, um, I have a bad feeling about the second room that Lorraine talked about. I’m going to go investigate that.


Ari (as Misha)

Well, I always believe that no one should be alone in endeavors, so I propose to accompany you on investigating this room, Simon Scotch.


Hallie (as Hopper)

Thanks, Misha.


Tom

That’s a good choice. We can use our mental link to keep in touch between the groups, so we’re not cut off like we were before.


Emily

Yeah, we should have thought of that last time.


Hallie

Yeah, we realized that real late


Tom

[Grumbling] But we wanted to go on a date, god.


All

[Laughter]


Hallie (as Hopper)

Uh, I just want to apologize that you got kidnapped by Lorraine, uh, because—


Tom (as Xoc)

Oh, we weren’t kidnapped.


Ari (as Misha)

Yeah, I do not believe it could be considered as a kidnapping, as we willingly went to this location.


Hallie (as Hopper)

Ya what?


Tom (as Xoc)

Well, we knew it might be dangerous, but we didn’t think we could pass up information about the Jagged Dream. We were confident we could escape.


Ari (as Misha)

We were not in any sense of danger that I could detect.


Emily (as Elee)

Oh.


Tom (as Xoc)

I mean, we were in a little bit of danger, but it was okay. We were okay.


Ari (as Misha)

I believe we could have defended ourselves if the situation provided.


Hallie (as Hopper)

-II don’t doubt that. Elee and I just got...a different impression.


Emily (as Elee)

I got a little worked up.


Hallie (as Hopper)

She got a little worked up. Anyway, I’m sorry. I know that a minute ago we decided not to split up, but I don’t think that she’ll be bothering us in that way again.


Emily (as Elee)

Soe, can you cover your ears for a second?


Kyle (as Soe)

Um—


Kyle

She’s going to lift up a bit of her hair, and you can see that she doesn’t have ears. And she’s going to be like:


Kyle (as Soe)

I don’t, uh, I really—I-I can’t do that. I’m sorry.


Emily (as Elee)

Okay, um. Well, you’re just going to hear it then.


Kyle (as Soe)

Oh no, I can—do you not want me to hear?


Emily (as Elee)

I mean, it’s fine. You’ve got to know eventually that I am a terrible person. Guys, Lorraine shouldn’t be bothering us because I told her to stay away.


Hallie (as Hopper)

That doesn’t always work, but you know.


Emily (as Elee)

Well, I don’t know that it will work, but if she does bother us, I told her that I was gonna...take her out, so, sorry Soe, you had to know eventually.


Kyle

And as you kind of finish, you can see that Soe, in an attempt to not hear, has taken this like massive hoodie that she has on the back of her jacket, and she’s put it up over her hair. And she’s kind of like strung it shut, so she can’t hear.


Tom

Oh my god…


Kyle

And she just peeks out a little strand, and she says:


Kyle (as Soe)

O-oh, can I hear now?


Emily

I’m going to like, nod really big so she can see me.


Kyle

And she very gently takes it off and puts it back down.


[Closing theme, “Hitoshio” by Miracle of Sound, begins.]


Tom (as Xoc)

So I guess we should head out to our places, see what we can figure out.


Ari (as Misha)

I have full trust on this plan.


Emily (as Elee)

Yeah. It is a plan that exists.


Hallie (as Hopper)

It is.


Tom

So as we’re walking out of the bar, like assuming that’s what’s happening now, Xoc wants to like, grab on to Elee’s sleeve for a second, and then say:


Tom (as Xoc)

Well, I think you’re pretty great.


[Closing theme intensifies.]


Tom

Are you going to be okay, Kyle?


Emily

Elee like—


Kyle

[Hysterical laughter/sobbing.]


Hallie

I think we broke our GM.


Kyle

No, I have an—


Tom

Like, I’ve never seen someone actually break on camera in front of me before.


Hallie

It’s so nice seeing Kyle break.


Kyle

[Hysterical laughter/sobbing.]


[End – 43:37]

20 views

Follow Us!

  • Facebook Basic
  • Black Tumblr Icon
  • Twitter Basic

Numenera and its logo are trademarks of Monte Cook Games, LLC in the U.S.A. and other countries. All Monte Cook Games characters and character names, and the distinctive likenesses thereof, are trademarks of Monte Cook Games, LLC. Content derived from Monte Cook Games publications is © 2013-2017 Monte Cook Games, LLC. Read the full disclaimer here.​

Intro/Outro music by MiracleOfSound

Intro: "Friends" (YouTube, Bandcamp)

Outro: "Hitoshio" (YouTube, Bandcamp)