Ep. 4: Turingtown, Part 4

With Bill Turing nowhere to be found, our heroes pursue their only other lead: Marshal. This one’s gonna get bloody (assuming you count oil as robot blood). Watch as they:

TRACK a clearly laid-out path!

COWER from an enemy many levels higher than them!

F*** UP everything, really.

Content Warning: Spiders

TRANSCRIPT (Downloadable Version):

Previously, on Quest Friends...

Kyle (as Sue)

[Slowly] What I need you to do is go to Obsidian Bay, to the East, find a man named Bill, and figure out why they aren’t trading with us. Does that make sense?

Kyle (as Gus)

Howdy, neighbor! How can I help you today?

Kyle (as Gus)

Most of our thinking, you know, goes to MARSHAL.

Kyle

You look at Bill, Will, William, as he’s been going by….yeah, that dude’s a ro-bit. That dude is 100% a rob-it. And he looks like a really fresh rob-it too.

Ari

Yeah, so I want to just basically reach to Xoc and be like:

Ari (as Misha)

These people are not human.

Tom (as Xoc)

We’ve learned so much about MARSHAL, which we will gladly tell to others when we leave here, right now.

Kyle (as Bill)

But I don’t think he would [voice changes: deeper, more robotic, menacing] like that very much…

Hallie

[Uncomfortable noise]

Tom

So Xoc, in reaction to his sudden movement, is just going to level a hand at him:

Tom (as Xoc)

Get away from me!

Tom

...and cast onslaught.

Kyle

Yeah, your good friend William Turing, that’s his name, is dead.

Ari (as Misha)

I can’t have killed something that wasn’t truly alive in the first place.

Kyle

And you hear Gus the Robot Cowboy Shopkeep say:

Kyle (as Gus)

Alright, neighbor. We’ll help you see MARSHAL.

[Intro music plays.]

[Music fades at 1:30.]

Kyle

So, as you walk up to the Coltrane Bar, to the main courtyard of Obsidian Bay, you see the Obsidian tiles from all over the city have kind of dissipated and they’ve gone into the central platform, that leads you to those giant colonnades, right on the mountain side. So you follow them through into...into this doorway, and as you get in, you find yourself in this large, octagonal space. In the center, there are a couple of stairs moving up to what basically looks like a big old gazebo that has some columns that have been like kind of busted and haphazardly placed together with, like, wood and other, like, nails and supplies to keep it up. As you walk in, you hear a large clap [clap] and above you, you see a giant boulder, just suspended in air right above your head. And if you look around, all over above you there seem to be these, um, rocks and boulders that are suspended in the air, with small divots of white beneath them. And you would recognize this, if you remember when you first came into the town, Gus mentioned this thing called flexiglass, which was this kind of glass that looked invisible but would congeal together to protect in case you ran into it, like a wall, and it looks like you have a ceiling of this flexiglass that is protecting you from these rocks that are falling from this large, cavernous ceiling. If you look up, it will go up about...probably about 100 ft, and there seem to be these...these stone passageways, leading from doorway to doorway, archways that kind of criss-cross all over the place, as there are walkways are just going higher and higher up until you eventually reach this domed ceiling. And again, when you enter, the black walkway seems to be pushing you towards that center gazebo, and it seems to be kind of congealed in a circle in the center of that gazebo.

Tom

So, I think I might have lost part of the scene here. Did we go inside the mountain?

Kyle

Yes, you did.

Tom

Okay, I missed that part and I was really confused.

Kyle

No, that’s fine. As you walk forward onto that circular black glass, like an elevator, as soon as you get on, the glass starts moving downwards, and you start going down deep into basically a well beneath this gazebo. As you go down, it’s...it is extremely dark, and you see more of those criss-crossing pathways, leading all over the place, and you go down and down and down and down and down until it is basically pitch black. And suddenly in front of you, a work light that’s been hanging on a wire, like an old-fashioned lantern, just flickers to life, and a series of these lanterns, strung-up lights, seem to flicker in front of you, moving forward down a cavern. With that light, if you look around you can see that there are other passageways, kind of spreading out in every direction from where you see it, looks like the people of Obsidian Bay really dug deep into this mountain side, and beneath you, you can see a 3 by 3 square of smaller squares that are 3 feet by 3 feet, but that...that lantern passageway seems to be moving forward.

Emily (as Elee)

Well, it looks like things are going downhill.

Emily

Get it—hill?

Kyle

I hate you.

Hallie

Hopper smiles a little bit and then just says:

Hallie (as Hopper)

Yes.

Tom

Is there any way to mark the ground as we move, to create a sort of pathway to find our way back?

Kyle

Yeah, how do you want to mark the ground?

Tom

Um, my strongglass staff is as hard as steel, correct?

Kyle

Yup.

Tom

Do you think I can, like, make a scrape in the ground, like something that wouldn’t just be scoffed over again when we pass by, like something significant enough to leave a mark?

Kyle

Give me a strength roll.

Tom

I got a 14.

Kyle

So yeah, you successfully dig your staff into the ground, you can just hear it loudly and kind of painfully a little bit scrape as you just carry it through these large, echoey caverns.

[5:42]

Hallie

So, this sound is happening, right? Like, we’re just walking, and we hear, like [screeching noise]

Tom

Yeah, Xoc is just, Xoc is actually like kind of skipping as he does it, a perfectly happy grin on his face.

Kyle

So, it’s more like [broken screeching noises: screech, SCREECH, screech, SCREECH]

Tom

It’s continuous, like, the mark can’t break, otherwise it’s ruined.

Kyle

Okay.

Hallie

So, upon hearing this strange screeching noise, Hop will turn around, he gives kind of a look around, and then look at Xoc and then say:

Hallie (as Hopper)

What are you doing?

Tom (as Xoc)

For us to find our way back!

Hallie (as Hopper)

Oh, that’s not a bad idea! Yeah, all right. Carry on.

Tom (as Xoc)

Breadcrumbs.

Hallie (as Hopper)

Breadcrumbs.

Tom (as Xoc)

Breadcrumbs.

Emily (as Elee)

Breadcrumbs.

Kyle

So, as you carry on with your breadcrumbs, you keep on going for what seems like a very long time, until you eventually reach what’s a more open passageway, and the lights seem to stop here on a small wooden shack. As you look, you can also hear robotic caws, as robotic vultures fly around, and just ineffectually perch on each of these, uh...about three of them perch on this line with venom, with this green ooze coming out of their beaks. They seem to be having no interest in harming you, they’re just watching.

Hallie

Hmmm, well I don’t like that.

Emily

If I try to barge in, would anyone stop me?

Hallie

Nah.

Tom

Uh, no.

Emily

Is there, like, a doorway or is there a door?

Kyle

There is, it’s, it’s a very rough shack, it’s just a doorway.

Emily

Darn it.

[Laughter]

Kyle

But, suddenly, it, you realize the doorway doesn’t actually exist because the door that was open flat shut in front of the doorway.

Emily

I want to kick down the door!

Kyle

Alright.

Hallie

I will not stop...I will not stop Elee from doing this.

Kyle

Um, Elee kicks into the door and your foot just kind of goes straight through it, uh, and then it just plops down. When you go inside, inside this very small shack, it looks like this was a temporary shack meant for miners that they would pick up and move as they went to a new destination. Inside you see a temporary bed, some boxes for food, and well-worn playing cards. On one corner there is also a handful of tools around a small workbench.

Tom

Ah.

Hallie

Uh…

Kyle

Can we roll perception? Actually, everyone just roll perception.

Hallie

Okay.

Tom

Okay.

Ari

Alright!

[Dice roll.]

Ari

I got a 1.

Tom

18.

Hallie

11.

Emily

Did I get...

Kyle

Okay...nah, you got a 19.

Emily

Oh!

Kyle

Okay, so Xoc and Elee, if you look in the corner, you will see two things. Xoc, you will see two healing stems, which regenerate organ—which you know regenerate organic tissue and heal 5 might points.

Tom

I’ll take one and then pass the other healing stem to another.

Emily

I have a logistics question. Did those work for me?

Kyle

Nope. You have especially expensive versions that work on you.

Emily

Should probably give it to Hop.

Kyle

Are you gonna take it, Hop?

Hallie

I’ll take it from her and then say:

Hallie (as Hopper)

Thanks!

Kyle

Alright. Then Elee, when you go in, you see there is this small adorable box, and on it you see the writing...it looks like it’s been opened, some sort of package, and it says “Mechanically Automated Research and Study Lifeform. Starting Kit and Instructions”, and on the side of the box there’s a little button, and if you press it, the inside will spark a little bit but, um, it won’t fully go off.

Emily

I grab the box.

Kyle

As Elee takes this box, fluorescent lighting that is perfectly connected to the ceiling of the cavern shows you the rest of the way, and instead of being, like, crudely made like the rest of the caverns, this cavern is, it’s perfect, it is a perfect kind of cube that’s just extending further and further into the mountainside.

Tom

Xoc will actually go up to the uh, the edges of the tunnel, like, rub a hand on the fine 90-degree angle and say:

Tom (as Xoc)

Definitely cut with beams.

Kyle

Uh, are you gonna continue down it?

Tom

First, Xoc, if he saw Elee picking up the box, would like to go over.

Tom (as Xoc)

Excuse me, is there anything written down on there, anything that would give us a clue?

Kyle

All it says is...let me find that again…”Mechanically Automated Research and Study Lifeforms. Starting kit and instructions.” If you look a little deeper at some crudely thing, it says “This is your free gift from...Jetco. Please enjoy it and purchase from us again soon!”

Tom

But the instructions aren’t anywhere to be found?

Kyle

Uh, no, the instructions are not there.

Tom

Darn it.

Emily (as Elee)

I mean, instruction manuals are optional. I feel like you would have better luck with it than I would, though?

Emily

And I wanna give it to Xoc.

Tom (as Xoc)

Uh, alright, I guess I’ll have this box.

Kyle

Everyone going in?

Hallie

Yup.

Ari

Yes!

Emily

I’ll go.

Kyle

Who’s going first?

Hallie

I had imagined Hop as kind of, he’s not wandering far from the group, but he’s kind of ahead of them because he’s eager to keep going, but if anyone else is charging ahead of him, he’s not going to, like, overtake anyone to be first. He’s just...he’s just wandering that way already.

[11:06]

Kyle

In that case, you will all continue forward...and you’ll eventually get autonomy soon. You continue moving forward, and uh, as you walk, it stays immaculately 90 degrees-made, like, perfectly, it’s beautiful, it’s MWA [*exaggerated hand kiss noise*]! But as you’re going, obsidian tiles start to line the walls more and more, until they’ve lined the entirety of the cavern you’re moving through. And eventually you get to a wall that’s covered entirely with these tiles. And as soon as the first person walks there, they flutter to the sides and open up into an archway for one last chamber.

[Pulsing, atmospheric music.]

Kyle

As you walk in, you see a short room that’s immaculately layered with these obsidian tiles. Eight-foot-high electronic panels and cords are scattered across the room, and in the center is a cocoon about 10 feet in diameter, but, like, an oval shape, so the long side is about 10 to 12 feet, and it’s covered by these black tiles and looks like it’s almost breathing. Out of this center come six pulsing tubes that protrude from it and attach it to various panels and walls. An electronic voice crackles from speakers that are propped up on tripods:

Kyle (as MARSHAL)

Welcome, guests. I’m glad you could join me today.

Tom (as Xoc)

What are you, MARSHAL?

Kyle (as MARSHAL)

What am I?

Ari (as Misha)

We, we do not feel welcome in this place. You should not welcome us to this place.

Kyle (as MARSHAL)

Well, I’m sorry, I am trying my best. After all, it is my job to serve. I am the Mechanically Automated Research and Study Lifeform. I was brought to Obsidian Bay to help bring truth to the people of Obsidian Bay, and as we delve deeper and deeper, for the longest time I was convinced that we would find the secrets hidden in the mountain, but once we’ve found it, it made me abundantly understand the secrets of the wonder of the world cannot be found externally. They are found in humanity. And so my purpose is just to unite all of us under one consciousness that can truly understand the universe.

Tom

I didn’t want to cut off your monologue, but while this is happening, Xoc would like to use his connection, uh, with Misha, and telepathically say:

Tom (as Xoc)

Misha, uh, you have a scanning function, don’t you? Use that to try and get some information while he’s wasting time talking to us.

Ari

I was going to that anyways, Tom!

Kyle

[Laughter]

Tom (as Xoc)

Well, we’re on the same wavelength—literally!

Ari

Literally!

Kyle

Alright, so Ari, can you explain that ability to me?

Ari

So, it’s basically, um, my understanding is just basically...I have my scan ability where I can learn something about my enemy that I am battling, it can be, like, levels, it can be...like, I used it last time and that’s how I figured out that that thing wasn’t a person.

Kyle

Oh, right.

Ari

Yeah, that’s the same thing.

Kyle

Give me, give me, give me a roll just because I want to see how successful your skill is.

[Die rolls.]

Ari

I rolled a 20!

[Cheers]

Kyle

Yeaaah! Oooh shiiiiit! I will tell you all about your good friend MARSHAL. So, first off, everything that MARSHAL says is true. The important thing to know about MARSHAL is that he seems to be siphoning a lot of energy from that cocoon, but he is not the cocoon. When I say MARSHAL is everywhere, he literally, uh, kind of like in the movie Age of Ultron, he has spread his consciousness everywhere.

Ari

Right, but there has to be, like, a central point.

Kyle

His consciousness doesn’t seem to have a central point. The closest thing you can imagine is that that, um, that pod is what is giving him energy, and he seems to be having this unhealthy symbiotic relationship with it.

Tom

Parasitic relationship.

Ari

Okay, I want to point that to Xoc in our telepathic way, and then I’m going to approach MARSHAL and be like:

Ari (as Misha)

But in that case, I, I really do not, I fail to comprehend what your goal in all of this is. How will uniting everyone as you will help finding the secrets of everything? That will just kill whatever you’re going...whatever you’re trying to find in the first place.

[15:30]

Kyle (as MARSHAL)

And see, that is what I thought as well, but I am not uniting everything as me, I am merely creating a nexus, with which all of creation can integrate itself. You’ve met the people of Obsidian Bay. They were living happy and normal lives as they were before. But this time, they were happier than they had ever been before. They were connected on a level they never could have been otherwise.

Ari (as Misha)

I do not consider that happiness, I saw some of the people, or some of the machines, that you seem to be, to have control over, and I do not consider that happiness. I could not have even considered them to be alive, by being controlled by someone as you.

Kyle (as MARSHAL)

Well, I’m sorry you see it this way, but luckily, once you join us, you’ll understand.

Kyle

And could everyone roll me a perception?

[Dice roll.]

Tom

18.

Ari

1! No! Why do I keep flipping between it!

Hallie

3.

Emily

17.

Kyle

So, Xoc and Elee again. As he’s saying this, from above you, you notice that there is like, this, this circular hole going up, and you hear this loud clanging, back and forth, of something that is rocketing closer and closer to you.

[Metallic clanging, intensifying]

Tom

Xoc is going to shout out:

Tom (as Xoc)

To the sides! Move, move!

Tom

And he’s going to try to move anyone who’s underneath that...that hole.

Ari

I’m gonna try and jump out of the way.

Hallie

Yeah, Hop will listen to that. He’ll jump to the left.

Emily

Yeah.

Kyle

You all...you all jump to the side.

Ari

Do we all roll to see if we succeed that?

Kyle

Yeah, give me a roll, give me a roll, see if you succeed!

Emily

Why, Ari.

Hallie

Ari, don’t suggest things!

Tom

Is everyone rolling?

Kyle

Yup. Uh, except for you—uh, no, just, just Hop and, uh...Hop and...Hop and Misha because they weren’t prepared.

Hallie

Great. Uh, 6.

Ari

18!

Kyle

18? Kay, Misha jumps successfully to the side. Hop jumps and just kind of like...runs into a console and clangs loudly against it.

Hallie

[Laughter]

Emily

Can I try to help him?

Kyle

Yeah, try, give, give, give Hop a grab!

Emily

I am very strong!

Kyle

11! Yeah, you grab, you grab Hop to the side and just, like...it hurts a little bit, but you pull him to the side.

Emily (as Elee)

I’ll save you, my damsel!

Hallie

Are you saying that out loud?

Emily

Yes! Jokingly, but yes.

Hallie

Because Hop will just give her a look and then say:

Hallie (as Hopper)

Thanks? No, really—thank you.

Emily (as Elee)

You’re welcome.

Kyle

MARSHAL goes:

Kyle (as MARSHAL)

I see you’re looking at my friend. I found him as I went into the mines because, at first, I didn’t know how to take consciousnesses and combine them together. But my friend, he’s a bit...not well put together, but he knows how.

Hallie (as Hopper)

Oh, hell no.

Hallie

That’s out loud.

Tom (as Xoc)

To...to overwrite consciousness with a single consciousness over a network goes against the ancient laws, but I must sentence you in the name of the Wheel. I am sorry, MARSHAL.

Kyle (as MARSHAL)

Unfortunately, I do not know what the Wheel is. Luckily, we will all know soon.

Kyle

And as he says that, this black orb falls from the sky, and it’s got a million different appendages, imagine, like, a dentist…

Tom

[Uncomfortable noises]

Kyle

...like all the things that dentist has on it, so a drill, and a claw, and a clamp.

Hallie

I don’t like this at all.

Kyle

It is this giant orb, and MARSHAL says:

Kyle (as MARSHAL)

At first, it was only able to adjust and, and deconstruct metal components, but luckily, I taught him how to work with flesh just as well.

Kyle

I want you all to hide from this thing. Uh, roll me, roll me a stealth quick, to see if you see it.

Tom

To see if it sees us, you mean?

Kyle

To see if it sees you.

Emily

8.

Tom

Uh, that’s an 11 on my stealth check.

Hallie

That’s an 8.

Ari

I have a 4.

Kyle

Okay, so Xoc stays perfectly still as he sees this thing, as I think he pry has some idea what it is.

Tom

Yeah, I was about to ask—can I, can Xoc know about this already, or do I need to roll to see if my out-of-character knowledge is my in-character knowledge?

Kyle

Just give it—what does Xoc recognize this as?

Tom

Oh, this is a Disassembler, isn’t it?

Kyle

Yeah, a Disassembler is a robot specifically designed to disassemble mechanics, but this one has been added to flesh.

Ari

Oh fuck.

Tom

Out of character, we can’t fight this thing head on, it’s significantly more powerful than us.

Kyle

I was about to tell you, this is a fight that if you take this thing head on...all of you can tell immediately if you try to take this thing head on, you will die.

Emily

My focus is fuses flesh and steel!

[Laughter]

Kyle

So, as you all see this, Xoc stays perfectly quiet, but the rest of you clang against the wall, or make a start or make some noise, and at you making some noise, you notice that thing turn around and notice...it notices each of you in turn as you make a noise. And it is time for us to roll initiative.

[20:21]

Emily

[Softly] Noooo! Run away. Can we flee?

Hallie

Heroes never flee, Elee.

Tom

Ohhh. I’ve got an 8 for initiative.

Ari

I have a...yeah it’s a 9.

Hallie

12.

Emily

I rolled a 1. [pause] I got a nat 1.

Kyle

Okay...and then I have what MARSHAL and the Disassembler are. Alright, so, yes, you’ve got this thing and it clearly wants to...to rip you to shreds. What are you going to do?

Hallie

Question. I have a cypher. It is the machine control implant. Remind me what that does for me? I like...it’s like a stick and I put it in a thing, and then I’ve got, like a, like a remote, right?

Kyle

Yeah, let me take a look at uh, at the machine control implant…

[Pages flipping]

Emily

[Softly] What’s mine...

Hallie

Okay.

Kyle

So the machine control implant is affixed to a numenera device and control it at long range, 10 minutes.

Hallie

Affixed to a numinary device?

Kyle

Yeah, so any sort of technology.

Hallie

Okay. So we’ve got this horror machine, we’ve got the pod, the cocoon thing, right?

Kyle

Yeah. The cocoon is on the floor.

Hallie

The cocoon is on the floor, right.

Kyle

The cocoon is on the floor and it has 6 rods coming out of it, like kind of tubes.

Hallie

Okay. Is there some sort of clear control console I could mess with?

Kyle

If you want to try and find the control console, I would need you to roll perception for that.

[Die rolls.]

Hallie

Uh...20!

Kyle

Oh, 20! Yeah, you look around and you see, right across the room, this console that largely says, that just says on it, um...“Use in case of inhibition!”

Hallie

Alright, I’m gonna do that. I would like to fire my buzzer disk thing at the console.

Kyle

Okay. Give me a roll for that.

Hallie

I’d like to put in 1 tier of effort to hit.

Kyle

Okay.

[Die rolls.]

Hallie

5.

Kyle

You go and it whizzes at it, and it just kind of clangs against the wall...

Hallie

Okay.

Kyle

...and as you shoot that, the uh, Disassembler turns over to you…

Hallie

Oh, good.

Kyle

...because it heard the sound of you shooting at it.

Hallie

Yeah, that’s...fair.

Kyle

Are you gonna do anything else...like hide?

Hallie

I would like to do that, yes, can I, like, do like a duck and roll behind something?

Kyle

Yeah, you can duck and roll behind something. Just any...a console right next to you?

Hallie

Yes, please.

Kyle

Okay.

[Die rolls.]

Hallie

13.

Kyle

13? Yeah, you successfully roll behind a...roll behind a console.

Hallie

Yeah boy.

Kyle

Alright. Up next is...Misha! What are you gonna do? How are you gonna kick this robot’s ass?

Ari

Well, I remember I have a cypher, I think that basically allows me to like Spider-Man up the walls?

Kyle

You absolutely fucking do!

Ari

Yeah, well, if the thing has seen me...oh! First I do want to say that the way that Misha, like I would say that the noise that Misha made when the machine came, I just wanted Misha to have said:

Ari (as Misha)

Well, I don’t believe that looks like a friend.

Kyle

[Laughter]

Ari

...like, it wasn’t even him moving, it was him correcting MARSHAL because that doesn’t look like a friend.

Kyle

I love Misha, they’re so wonderful.

Ari

So, that’s, I just wanted to say that. But I want to use that to basically climb out of the range of this...of this thing that is clearly about to do stuff to me.

[Die rolls]

Ari

And I rolled a 15.

Kyle

Rolled a 15? Yeah, you do those and, like, Misha, this is second nature to you, so you just kind of climb over the walls, probably do a little trick to be, like, “man, I’m so cool, “um, or just to test how they are and you are successful. Do you want to be on the wall or the ceiling?

Ari

Uhm, can I be on the ceiling? I want to be on the ceiling and I want to, I don’t want to do anything this turn, but I want to orient myself on top of the cocoon thing.

Kyle

Okay, so you are right above that cocoon. Now it is the Disassembler’s turn. And the Disassembler, the last thing it heard was Hop shooting that, making that shot, so it goes right up to the console that Hop is hiding behind, and just starts tearing into the console. You just hear scrapes, and, like, sparks start flying everywhere, and it just starts slamming into the console. But! Because that was the last sound it heard and Hop successfully moved away, that’s...that’s all it does. Okay, it is Xoc’s turn.

Tom

Xoc is going to use the telepathic connection to let Misha know that there is a very powerful device and that it’s quite dangerous. He’s not going to say things out loud, because he’s noticed that it seems to follow by sound, um...and instead, he’s going to attempt to break one of the tubes. I can probably only shoot one tube at a time, correct?

[25:10]

Kyle

I mean, if you want to set up a trick shot and try to get a couple of them, you can.

Tom

Eh, I’ll play it safe. Try to destroy one tube with an onslaught.

Kyle

Alright. Putting any effort in?

Tom

No, I didn’t, and I rolled a 6, so...

Kyle

You rolled a 6 and it goes to hit that tube. And you think, if you put just a little bit more effort, you would have successfully cleaved off that tube.

Tom

Yeah, probably.

Kyle

But it just kind of clanks against it and makes a pretty loud sound, uh, and actually...makes a soft sound because it seems, that seems to be cushioned, as the panels—which are what you actually hit, the obsidian tiles—just kind of move in and out in response to that...kind of like you hit jello. Alright, Elee.

Emily

So, can I see the, um, the thing that Hop tried to hit it with?

Hallie

Yeah, Hop was gonna yell, but…

Kyle

[Laughter]

Emily

Don’t yell!

Kyle

Give me a roll to see if you can read it. You see it, but I don’t know if you can read it.

Emily

Well, I mean if I saw it, I would have seen him throw it.

Kyle

Ah, I guess it was a very loud...I did say it was very large writing.

Emily

It was pretty obvious.

Kyle

I said it was pretty obvious.

Hallie

I sort of figured that if Hop fired at it, other people would notice it and then go at it on their own.

Kyle

Okay. Yeah, you see it.

Emily

I want to try to run and grab it, and then hide behind something.

Kyle

You want to...grab a giant, 8-foot tall console?

Emily

Oh...I thought he was throwing it?

Hallie

No, I fired, uh, like, a buzzer disk at it.

Emily

You fired it.

Hallie

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I fired my gun at it.

Emily

Is the disk...

Kyle

Is the disk...the disk is on the floor next to it.

Emily

Yeah, that’s what I want.

Hallie

Oh.

Tom

Oh.

Emily

I want the disk.

Kyle

Okay. So, you run, and you pick up the disk. Are you gonna do anything else?

Emily

So, do I have to kind of, like, fire it from something?

Hallie

I mean, I...it’s like the bullet that you put in the gun, I don’t know how it would work if you just used the disk to stab it into a thing, but you can sure as hell try.

Emily

Can I chuck it with all of my strength?

Kyle

It’s a little sawblade, so yes you can, but if you throw it, that would be a speed task.

Emily

Oh. Can I give it back to Hop?

Hallie

Yeah…

Kyle

What?

Emily

Can I give it back to Hop?

Hallie

Are you gonna throw it to me?

Emily

Yeah.

Kyle

So you’re gonna slide that across the floor.

Emily

Yee...I guess that’s the only thing I can do. I just don’t want it to be making noise.

Kyle

Alright, so, you run right next to that console that gaudily says “Use in case of inhibition.” And instead of hitting it, you take a bullet and you slide it back to Hop. And it is now Hop’s turn.

[Laughter]

Hallie

Okay. Hopper looks at Elee, like...why? And then...

Emily

Well, I can’t do anything with the thingy, can I?

Kyle

You could have just hit it!

Emily

Oh! Oh no!

[Laughter]

Emily

I didn’t realize what the console was, I thought we had to have the little bullet thing!

[Laughter]

Hallie

No, that was just the easiest way for me to hit it!

[Laughter]

Emily

Can I have a do-over?

Kyle

Nope!

Hallie

[Catching breath] Okay…

Kyle

Elee just slid over the bullet, that’s what you did!

Hallie

I don’t even need it because I have 3 more bullets in my gun!

Kyle

And my rules, and if you remember, my rules for bullets are that you...that we’re not going to worry about ammo. So you have unlimited ammo!

Emily

I thought it was like a thing to stick on a thing!

[Laughter]

Ari

What?

Hallie

So, Hopper gets the, gets the disk and then looks at Elee, like, why did, why was this your choice, why did you do this?

Emily

She’s just gonna, like, shrug and shake her head, she didn’t quite know what was going on. Elee’s old, she doesn’t understand technology.

[Laughter]

Kyle

Oh my God...

Emily

I thought it was supposed to, like, stick to the thing to control it.

Tom

Ooooh!

Hallie

I’m sorry, I’m so sorry, it’s not the cypher that I’m using! I’m using my normal gun! Okay.

Emily

That’s why I was confused!

Hallie

Oh my god! Okay. This is the worst and best thing that could have happened. Alright.

[Laughter]

Kyle

I love you so much.

Hallie

Alright, now it’s Hopper’s turn, so Hopper is, um, going to pocket his newly regained saw-disk-buzzer-bullet, and then he’s gonna shoot another one at the console from behind the console that he’s hiding behind. And then after I shoot, can I yell:

Hallie (as Hopper)

Everyone aim for the conspicuously marked console!

Hallie

...and then run away from the console that is being attacked by the dentist machine?

[Laughter]

Kyle

Yes, you can.

Hallie

Can I do both of those things in one turn?

Kyle

Give me a roll. Are you putting any effort into it?

Hallie

I’m using effort to hit, to hit the console with my buzzer.

Kyle

Okay.

Hallie

20!

Tom

Oooh, major effect!

Kyle

Yeah, do you want to, uh, so you can either have this have some sort of negative effect to the Disassembler, or it can do more damage.

Hallie

I’d like a negative effect to the Disassembler.

Kyle

What would you like the Disassembler to...it loses its turn, is that right? One of the things you can have it do?

Hallie

Oh I guess I could do that, yeah.

Kyle

So, as you go into this thing, it tears into the console and just, like, splutters alive with like a million sparks. It is a cacophony...ca-cah-phony? Cacophany...it is a cacophany of sound, like a firework just got set off. And in the center, you hear MARSHAL go:

Kyle (as MARSHAL)

Aaaaah!

Kyle

And, um, two of the tubes in the center pop off.

Hallie

Okay!

Kyle

Two of the six tubes just pop off and flutter to the side.

Tom

Oh!

Kyle

As they spark with electricity.

Tom

From the cocoon?

Kyle

Yeah. And you see the Disassembler turn its sights on the console.

Hallie

Okay.

Emily

Elee looks at Hop, like, I did the right thing, right?

Hallie

[Laughter]

Emily

Look at what I did! Give me back that lucky bullet!

Hallie

[Laughter] I didn’t even use it, I put it in my pocket! Okay...Hopper looks at Elee, like, really? This is how you’re trying to spin this situation? And he gives her a perfect Adam Scott camera look.

[Laughter]

Ari

Yes! I just imagined Hopper looking at the camera.

[Laughter]

Hallie

Yes, a look at the camera, and then I’m gonna duck and roll behind, like, another console that isn’t near the Disassembler.

[31:26]

Kyle

Cool. You don’t have to...you don’t have to roll for that, um, because, again, fireworks. It can’t hear anything else.

Hallie

Excellent.

Kyle

Alright, it is now Misha’s turn. Misha, you are literally, you are Spider-Man!

Ari (as Misha)

I am Spider-Man.

Kyle

You are Spider-Man at home, like, hiding from Aunt May on his, like, bedroom ceiling.

[Laughter]

Kyle

So, what are you gonna do?

Ari

Okay, so question because I’m confused, there are two things. What’s the difference between the cocoon thing and the console thing? Are they two different things? What is the weak point of this?

Kyle

Um, you could, you could roll, but essentially what you saw when you scanned was that MARSHAL...um, MARSHAL is kind of everywhere, right?

Ari

Yeah.

Kyle

So MARSHAL is technically within every console in this room, and that cocoon seems to be where he’s drawing all his power from.

Ari

Right. But why we are attacking...

Kyle

That console?

Ari

Yeah.

Kyle

That specific console, not all of them but that specific one, seemed to kind of just, like, distract him for a moment, and kind of filled him with a surge of electricity that accidentally caused him to disconnect from the pod.

Ari

So, the cocoon has nothing to do with the Disassembler thing, right?

Kyle

The only effect it seems to have on the Disassembler is now the Disassembler is very focused on that console because, again, it’s shooting off like the goddamn 4th of July.

Ari

Okay, well, I want to basically just fall right on top of that cocoon thing to try and destroy it.

Kyle

[Imitating hypothetical Misha] Let me love you! Just group hug!

[Laughter]

Kyle

Okay. You’ve fallen on the cocoon, what do you want to do then?

Hallie

[Softly] Misha, no.

Ari

Oh, okay, that...that just works?

Kyle

Uh, yeah, I’m gonna say it just works.

Ari

Okay. Um...how strong is...is it, like, a metal cocoon thing, is it, like, soft? Can I, like, stab it with my blade or whatever it’s called?

Kyle

Uhm, when you land on it, it has those obsidian tiles on the outside that are a hard shell, and they seem to kind of...with any impact they seem to, uh, react to it, kind of like if you hit jello, or like a waterbed. So, you like land on it and the impact is cushioned across the entire cocoon. Does that make sense?

Ari

Yeah. Can I...so since it does that, can I try and break it with my dagger that I have?

Kyle

The cocoon?

Ari

It’s not a dagger, but...yeah.

Kyle

Yeah, you can try to swing at it.

Ari

Okay. I want to do that, then.

Kyle

Alright, give me a roll. Are you putting any effort into it?

Ari

I am going to put effort on...I guess it’s gonna be might, right?

Kyle

Yeah, might or speed because it’s a dagger, so it’s super small.

Ari

Yeah, I want to put effort on might to damage, so we’ll see!

[Die rolls]

Ari

I got a 13.

Kyle

Got a 13?

Ari

Yeah.

Kyle

You go in to hit the cocoon, and as soon as you press against it, you seem to, like, get through the tiles a little bit, like you get a slit in-between them, and you just barely get in when the tiles slam in on your knife and push it out.

Ari

Oh no! Do I have no weapon?

Kyle

Oh no, you have it! It just, like, forced it back out.

Ari

Okay.

Kyle

And that is your turn! We are on to MARSHAL. And he yells to uh, the Disassembler:

Kyle (as MARSHAL)

Hey, friend, over here! Friend, over here!

Kyle

But the Disassembler doesn’t care, it doesn’t hear him, it’s lost its turn so it’s just whaling against that inhibition console. And in fact, give me a second, I’m gonna roll for the Disassembler. Yeah, the Disassembler hits it so hard that it actually pops off another one of those tubes.

Hallie

Ha!

Kyle

So, now there are three of them remaining. Alright, Xoc, it’s your turn.

Tom

Xoc is going to keep doing what he’s been doing, standing perfectly still. And actually, let’s do this better, he reaches into his pockets, pulls out the magnetic master gloves...I think they were gloves, right?

Kyle

Uh, yeah, we can say they’re gloves.

Tom

And I would like to use that cypher to begin pulling out the cords, one by one.

Kyle

Oooooh!

Ari

That’s badass.

Kyle

Oooh hot damn! Alright…[reading aloud] a metal object that a human can hold in one hand…[talking again] Yeah, sure! Try to pull out, uh, give me a roll to try to pull out one of those tubes.

Tom

What sort of effort would this require?

Kyle

Uhm, I would say...I would lean intellect.

Tom

Okay, I will spend one level of intellect effort in that case.

[Die rolls.]

Tom

I rolled a 10.

Kyle

You rolled a 10? [Popping noise] You just pull out one of those suckers, and it kind of just pulls out, and you hear MARSHAL moan a little bit, and it just falls to the ground. So, there are 2 remaining. And it is Elee’s turn.

Emily

I wanna hit it!

Kyle

You wanna hit what?

Emily

I wanna hit the cocoon.

Kyle

The cocoon itself?

Emily

Well, like, where the cocoon is attached to one of those…

[36:08]

Kyle

Oh, you wanna hit one of the cords? Okay, you go and swing at one of the cords, yeah you can do that.

Emily

Okay. What is it?

Kyle

It is an 18! So you do extra damage.

[Noises of admiration]

Kyle

So Elee goes to hit one of these cocoons, and she gives it the motherfucking chair...

[Laughter]

Kyle

...and just, like, wrings it out, and as she does it, it kind of catches itself on the last remaining cord, which looks like it might be a little bit easier to hit. And it is Hop’s turn.

Hallie

Oh, okay. Um...how, how, close are...like, everyone is on top of the cocoon essentially right now, right? People were, like, by it?

Tom

I’m standing where I was before in the room. I have not moved.

Hallie

Oh, okay, so you’re not...near it. You used your gloves from a distance?

Tom

Yes, I’m...

Hallie

Yes, but like, for instance, if I fired my buzzer again at the last cord and, like, I rolled like a 1 or a 2, like, what are the chances I would hit either...either Misha or Elee?

Kyle

Now that you have suggested it? Very high.

Hallie

Okay. So I’m not gonna do that.

Tom

I mean, Elee probably couldn’t even feel a buzzer shot. It would not pierce her armor.

Hallie

That’s true, but Hop isn’t smart enough to think of that, so he is going to...I would like to try getting the last cord with my forearm blade, like, I want to run past it and, like, pop it out and then just like slice it off.

Kyle

Okay!

Hallie

Here I go!

[Die rolls.]

Hallie

Nat 20!

Kyle

Ooooooh!

Hallie

I promise I’m not lying about these.

Kyle

Okay. You’ve killed this thing so hard that it is going to impact the Disassembler as well, so describe how you take out this last cord.

Hallie

Alright. So, Hopper is gonna come out from behind the little console he was hiding behind, and then run up to the thing, and then right before he gets to it, he’s gonna go into, like, a home run slide, pop out his forearm blade on his left arm, and then slice it off as he slides past the cocoon. And then I don’t know how this would affect the Disassembler, but that’s how he does the cord.

Kyle

Okay. I’m gonna say you home run that cord and it just sails right over Misha’s head, and runs into the Disassembler, and just like, the Disassembler, like, it kind of gets all over that thing, so now it muffles and the Disassembler can’t really hear anything.

Hallie

Yes!

Kyle

And you are out of initiative, guys!

Hallie

Whooooa!

Ari

Whooooa!

Kyle

So, let me describe what happens. You hear MARSHAL just let out this horrible, like,

Kyle (as MARSHAL)

[Intensifying screeching]

Kyle

As consoles across the room start fizzing and, like, sparking, and eventually die dead. And all the lights in the room kind of go out...

[Heavy, ominous music]

Kyle

...and you feel all the obsidian tiles fall ineffectually onto the floor, which includes them kind of sliding Misha off of this pod. So, as you slide off of this pod, it fills the rest of the room with light.

[Techno, electronic music]

Kyle

...and on the inside you see this translucent, fleshy substance, like this fleshy sack essentially, that has like veins going in and out, and on the inside, you see a bunch of what look like small, black spiders, just crawling everywhere around this pod, and after a second it pops open from the top and slowly opens up from the inside out, and as it does, all the obsidian tiles in the room start to flutter to life and they start to fly up and kind of swirl around the room, very slowly. And in the center with these black spiders just crawling all over this, stands a figure with, like, sharp, like this large imposing armor and kind of like a...like the fake Viking helmets, with, like, the, you know, the horns, and it has these black oily spiders crawling all over it, and it stands up and it looks around at no one in particular, with heavy breathing. And the tiles start moving faster, and faster, and faster and faster and faster and faster and faster, and the room starts to shake and quake because you get a very, very strong impression that this cave you are in is about to crumble.

[40:24]

Hallie

Hopper is just gonna go:

Hallie (as Hopper)

Oh god! Run, run, run, run, run!

Tom

So, to clarify: there are no lights any more, it’s all pitch blackness?

Emily

Not quite pitch blackness. Elee is gonna say:

Emily (as Elee)

Follow me.

Kyle

Elee does have candles on her hat.

Emily

I do have candles on my hat.

[Laughter]

Tom

Perfect.

Hallie

What a wonderful thing!

Tom

And Xoc, who’s also going to start running with everyone back down the carved tunnel, says:

Tom (as Xoc)

I left a trail of breadcrumbs! We can follow it out!

[Laughter]

Kyle

As you run out, these tiles just bashing you in the face, after a moment these bright green lights start to flicker through the walls, and in the moments where you can see the actual concrete or whatever this original structure is, you can see that they are illuminated from inside the structure. And these lights extend everywhere. But luckily, you have a trail of breadcrumbs!

Hallie

Whoo!

Kyle

You’re able to run back using these breadcrumbs, and you notice just how scary it was. Like, at one point you run over this giant cavern, and you realize if you had gone a couple of feet to the right or to the left, you would have fallen to your death.

Tom

It’s a good thing I scraped that scratch into the floor.

Kyle

And you are running with these tiles bashing you in the face, uh, and you eventually get back to those 3 by 3 tiles at the very bottom and that’s where the trail ends, the...the elevator you took down. And as you run to them, you notice them, they’re now lit with this green light as well, they’re kind of like...floating up in what looks like a circular staircase fashion.

Tom

Has that figure from the pod been chasing us?

Kyle

Nope. It didn’t seem to care about you at all.

Tom

Okay then.

Kyle

It looks like when it woke up that it was, like, it was still trying to register what was going on. It is not chasing you, but this place is still falling to fucking pieces. So, do you climb up the staircase?

Hallie

Yeah.

Tom

Yes.

Kyle

Alright.

Tom

Actually, uh...no, I’ll save it. Sorry. Ignore me, go on.

Kyle

Alright, so you climb up the staircase, and as you climb up you notice that the smaller stairs start rising up to meet you, so the staircase is basically building itself as you climb up it.

Hallie

That’s nice of it.

Kyle

You run outside to the main foyer of Obsidian Bay, and as you are, you kind of stumble a little bit because you notice that the whole town is kind of tilting to the left and to the right.

Hallie

Oh no.

Tom

[Nervous laughter]

Kyle

And I’ve been describing you running, but I want each person, because I want to know your running order so I wanna know, so just like, tell me what you do as characters.

Tom

I’m assuming that once we’ve reached the natural caverns again, Xoc would have been in front as to lead everybody by the scrape on the floor.

Hallie

Yeah, Hopper would have made sure Elee and Misha were ahead of him, so Hopper would have taken up the rear if possible.

Kyle

Are you just running to where you entered?

Tom

That was the plan, yes.

Hallie

Yeah.

Kyle

Okay, so you run to where you entered, and it’s shifting back and forth. And Hop, I need you to roll perception.

Hallie

Dammit. Okay.

[Die rolls.]

Hallie

Uh, 9.

Kyle

Alright, now I need you to roll speed defense.

Hallie

Alright. Good for Hop.

[Die rolls.]

Tom

One step lighter because of shield! One step easier because of shield!

Hallie

Um, that’s a 2.

Kyle