Ep. 5: The Clockwork City, Part 1

Out of the frying pan, into the fire. Follow our heroes as they:

GAZE into the camera!

ASCEND the path of Ray Romano!

DIGEST small, venomous creatures!

Content Warning: Spiders

TRANSCRIPT (Downloadable Version):

Previously, on Quest Friends…

[Opening theme, “Friends” by Miracle of Sound, begins.]

Kyle (as M.A.R.S.H.A.L.)

I am the Mechanically Automated Research and Study Lifeform. My purpose is just to unite all of us under one consciousness that can truly understand the universe.

Tom (as Xoc)

To overwrite consciousness with a single consciousness over a network goes against the ancient laws. But I must sentence you in the name of the Weal.

Kyle

Consoles across the room start fizzing and like sparking and eventually die dead. And in the center with these black spiders just crawling all over this stands a figure with like, just sharp, like this large imposing armor and kind of like the fake Viking helmet, so with like, you know, the horns. Eventually all you can really see is what looks like a cloud of these tiles, a torrent of them, as they spin around and start flying higher and higher into the sky. And Obsidian Bay is gone.

[Theme intensifies]

[Music fades out]

[Raindrops falling]

Kyle

The first time you entered Rhubarb you could hear it from a distance. I mean, it's a loud town full of loud people. But as you approach it you don't hear anything. As you come in the only sound you hear is like this chirp, as a broken hound is just kind chirping at a blood barm before noticing you and running really excitedly towards you. Well, not excitedly, but like running all up to you. And if you let it, it'll run up to actually Hop and just kind of sadly stick its head underneath Hop's hand in need of some sort of affection.

Hallie

Hopper is taken aback for a second but lets this happen and then, not knowing how else to proceed, pets the dog.

Kyle

The dog's tail wags a little bit and it actually follows you as you go into town.

Hallie

Alright.

Kyle

And for the first time you see people.

[Melancholy music box song starts playing]

Kyle

And all of them have these like horrified anguished looks on their faces, as they just stand there frozen in place.

Hallie

Are they unnaturally frozen or is just no one moving?

Kyle

It's unnatural. It was like some of them didn't seem - don't seem to have noticed but it's as if someone was being attacked, and then halfway through being attacked just there was a freeze frame of what happened.

Hallie

So it's like Pompeii but no one is covered in ash.

Kyle

Exactly. It's like Pompeii.

Hallie

Okay.

Kyle

They've all got like rigor mortis. Some of them have in fact fallen onto the ground. It seems like the wind has pushed them over.

[Music fades out]

Hallie

Okay. Hopper starts petting the dog a little more intensely because that's just how he's going to cope with this very discomforting scene, and then say,

Hallie (as Hopper)

So this isn't how we left the town.

Kyle

[Laughter.]

Tom

Xoc is in a daze going to walk up to like one of the figures and see like if he can touch or manipulate it at all.

Kyle

When you push it you're able to move them but they stay in place wherever you do.

Ari

Misha is going to look also in a horrified daze and then say,

Ari (as Misha)

I believe we should try to see if we can find... Uhh... What's her name? Sue Armstrong?

All

Sue Strongarm.

Ari (as Misha)

Yeah. I want to find the person that identified herself as Sue Strongarm.

Kyle

Alright. So, you walk back to the bar, past a multitude of things, including an empty and vacant midnight hot hound stand, and I want all of you to roll perception.

Ari

I have rolled an 8.

[Dice rolls]

Ari

Because Misha just doesn't know these things.

[Dice rolls]

Tom

Six.

Hallie

Four. Hopper is sad.

Kyle

Ah, Misha, you look down to the ground and you see a line of those spiders, the same ones you saw at Obsidian Bay, walking towards the bar.

Emily

[Imitating Ron Weasley from Harry Potter] Follow the spiders.

Hallie

[Imitating Ron Weasley from Harry Potter] Follow the spiders!

Emily

[Imitating Ron Weasley from Harry Potter] Why couldn't it have been butterflies?

Tom

[Laughter.]

Kyle

And Elee, you hear screams from inside the bar.

Hallie

Oh no.

Emily

Elee's just gonna say,

Emily (as Elee)

Come on!

Emily

And book it.

Tom

Xoc will run too.

Hallie

Yeah.

Kyle

You book it inside the bar.

Emily

If the door is shut I will kick it in. I will not bother with the handle.

Kyle

You kick in the door to the bar and you see all the patrons similarly anguished and the screams seem to be coming from the office.

Emily (as Elee)

[Darkly] Sue.

Kyle

And you run into the office and you barge that door open and you see Sue with what looks like at least a hundred of these spiders crawling all around her and underneath her skin.

Ari

Ugh. Kuhh. Gross.

Kyle

And more of them are climbing up her, that the line seems to be going to her as she's groaning in pain and staring horrified at the space of ground beneath her. And between her groans you just hear her, you just hear her, like, muttering,

Kyle (as Sue)

Marv, Marv, Marv, Marv, Marv!

Kyle

And then she kind of looks around a little bit, like she'll snap out of it and look around and you see her reach for this photo on her desk and she's holding onto this pin in her right hand that seems to be--It's a pin with that logo you saw in Episode 1, the one that had an M on it, and then another smaller M that kind of looked like a moustache.

Tom

Yes.

Kyle

She holding onto one of those pins but the pin part on the back seems to have broken off. And she's just kind of moving back and forth, and she's trying her goddamn hardest to move but these things seem to locking her in place and she's just muttering to herself.

Tom

Xoc has got nothing.

Hallie

She's going after a picture on the desk you said?

Kyle

She seems to be looking for one, yes.

Hallie

Hopper has no idea what to do about the spiders, so he's gonna look--can I do like perception check to scan to see if I can tell what picture she's after?

Kyle

Err... yeah. Give me a roll.

[Dice rolls]

Hallie

Fifteen.

Kyle

Yeah. On the mantelpiece you see a handful of pictures but there's one that seems to be this--just the brightest picture you've seen and that seems to be the one she's going towards.

Hallie

Okay. I'm gonna pick it up and gesture to her like, "Is this what you want?"

Kyle

She's reaching towards it and then she's looking back at ground, she's like,

Kyle (as Sue)

Mar-, Mar- [gasps]

Hallie

Okay. And then Hopper's like,

Hallie (as Hopper)

I guess we should do something about the spiders. Umm...

Ari

Can I use a scan to scan the spiders and see if there's any weak thing, like a thing we can use to like, hit them?

Kyle

Yeah. Yeah. Give me a roll.

Ari

Sixteen.

Kyle

Those spiders are mother fucking small, man. You could probably block them with like a bucket and you could probably like squish them, the ones that are coming on, but the ones that are already on Sue are like underneath her skin.

Hallie

Oh!

Ari

Urgh! Gross!

Kyle

You can see these spots of black but in order to hit the ones that are already on her...

Emily

Mmm.

Kyle

...you would have to hit her as well.

Hallie

Okay. So, she's saying "Marv"?

Kyle

Yeah. As she seems to be looking at this photo and looking down and trying, like comparing what she sees. And like you see her, she's like,

Kyle (as Sue)

No! No! Not-Not again! Not again! Not again!

Hallie

Is the photo of a person?

Kyle

You take a look at that photo and you see a lot of things in that photo.

[Melancholic plucking guitar music starts playing]

Kyle

It's a picture of Sue, much, much younger. She looks, you know probably late teens maybe? And the picture you see is of a group of friends in a blooming grassland that are at a bottom of a hill the camera's on. In the front of the photo is Sue and her arms are like around this burly, bearded, dwarf-like man and their faces are pressed together side by side in a sickening romance. To their left is a spindly man with a wire thin moustache and he's leaning on the shoulder of a bright woman sporting a forest green leather vest. This woman in turn is leaning with her elbow on a small floating pail which struggles a little bit underneath her weight. To Sue's right is an elderly woman sporting a mix between a lab coat and a trench coat and she has wide eyes staring intensely at the camera with other-worldly curiosity. Contentedly curled behind the group is this giant, vibrantly white xi-drake. And xi-drakes are basically these giant dragons but they--they've got like feathers and they've got shark fins coming out of their heads. And next to the xi-drake is a man and he's wearing a large, knightly armour. It looks remarkably similar to that armour that you saw on the Obsidian Bay mines.

[Music fades out]

Hallie

She holding a pin, right?

Kyle

She's holding a pin, yep. It's the pin with the two Ms on it.

Tom

I only half remember what she told us about this logo last session. I'm assuming Xoc would know more about this because it hasn't been a month for him.

Hallie

Yeah.

Tom

Yep. She said it was from Marvelous Marvin?

Kyle

It was from Mr Mako.

Tom

That was it!

Kyle

Who she described as a close friend of hers and a really good medic.

Hallie

Okay.

Tom

Why did she show us that again? I do not remember the context for this.

Kyle

She was showing that to somebody who had been beaten up in the bar fight. Was basically like, "Hey, go see this guy.--

Tom

Oh.

Kyle

--He's a good medic.”

Hallie

Okay. Hop is gonna motion to the picture, which has a lot of people in it and be like,

Hallie (as Hopper)

Are we supposed to find Marv? Which--which one is Marv?

Kyle (as Sue)

No! No! Not, not again! Not again! Not again! Not again! Not again!

Kyle

Her finger slides over and you can see her kind of point to herself. Her finger slides over to that man to the right of her.

Hallie

The romantic one?

Kyle

Yeah, yeah. She's like,

Kyle

No. No. No. No. No. No. [Voice weakens.]

Hallie

Hopper is--he's really freaked out by this. He doesn't know what to do. He's gonna kind of push his hat back that way that people do when they're trying to think and look to the team for, like,

Hallie (as Hopper)

I'm lost.

Tom

This whole time Xoc has just been shaking and he just whispers,

Tom (as Xoc)

Don't--don’t touch the spiders. Don't touch the spiders.

Ari

Yeah Misha is also kind of just standing there, like not knowing what to do.

Kyle

As you're deciding, you hear,

Kyle (as Sue)

[Loudly, painfully.] Aargh!

Kyle

As Sue like curls down in pain and like stiffs up a little bit more and it looks like she's maybe got a minute left in her.

Ari

Is there a way that I can do the thing, like Google Images where you put an image into the thing and you look for similar images on the, on the interwebs, or is that too much a OP thing.

Kyle

It's a Google on Google as a reverse image search. If Google can do it you can do it.

Ari

Okay! Well, I want to do that with the picture so that I can see who this person is and if there's any way that I can, like... that we can go find him, or see what she wants us to do.

Kyle

Okay. When you see it you see the words, "The Heroes of Navarene", and a bunch of names appear but in no particular order. You see Sue Strongarm. You see Marvy Harvey Strongarm. You see The Professor. You see Aegon Stormbreaker. You see Mauve Rodirarche, and you see The Artist Currently Known as Mako.

Tom

It was Aegon Stormbreaker, correct?

Kyle

Aegon Stormbreaker, and that had the word "Party Leader" connected to it.

Ari

I want Misha to I guess scream at Sue and be like,

Ari (as Misha)

Do you want us to look for the Navarene Heroes? Do you want--do you want a message to be transmitted to them?

Kyle

Yeah, can you give me a roll to see if she can get to her?

Ari

Nine.

[Music box song starts playing]

Kyle

Yeah. She's gonna turn over to you and she's gonna say two words. She's gonna say,

Kyle (as Sue)

The Apocrita. Help.

Kyle

And with that she dies.

[Music fades, long pause.]

Kyle

And now it's time for a GM intrusion. Everyone is stood around this area, correct?

Tom

Yes.

Emily

Mmm-hmm.

Kyle

To make sure I understood where everyone is, Hop is right next to Sue, Xoc is in the doorway, Misha is next to Sue and then uh...

Emily

Elee ended up pretty darn close to Sue. She was kind of planning on, like, stomping on the spiders until Xoc said don't touch them.

Kyle

Okay. So as you've been doing this, and this is a GM intrusion for Xoc. Xoc, who do you want to give your experience to?

Tom

I would like to give my experience to Misha in this case for being the only one sensible enough to get information from the datasphere.

Ari

Woo-hoo!

Emily

[Jokingly indignant] Misha's the only one who could get information from the datasphere, thank you!

Kyle

[Laughter.]

Hallie

That's fair!

Tom

I mean--

Hallie

None of us have that capability!

Tom

I mean, technically I also have that power but Xoc is not in a good state of mind.

Kyle

Xoc, you've been standing against the wall this whole time, and as you have, you haven't noticed it, but one of the spiders, as it leaves--

Tom

[Gasps]

Kyle

--was accidentally blocked by you.

Tom

Mm! Mm, mm, mm, mm, mm!

Ari

Oh fuck.

Kyle

...in an attempt to get out, climbed up your staff. But you don't notice this until you feel a stinging pain in your hand--

Ari

Nooo!

Hallie

Oh no.

Kyle

--as it buries underneath your skin. And I need you to roll intellect defence.

Emily

No!

Tom

Xoc is actually going to start screaming right now.

Emily

Oh no!

Tom

I rolled a five.

Kyle

So, as this thing hits you, you just fall to the ground in searing pain. And you don't take any damage but you feel this haze come over your mind and until this thing is out, every intellect roll for you is gonna be one step harder.

Tom

[Resigned groaning.] Ahhhhh!

Kyle

But there's a second thing you see. As you hit the ground the world in front of you phases away and you see Sue, specifically you see Sue and she is kneeling above this small, dwarf-like man, who is bloody and battered and on the ground, motionless.

Ari

Yeah, that’s what I figured.

Kyle

His once vibrant beard seems to be browning and withering like dead grass and you just hear Sue going,

Kyle (as Sue)

No, no! Marv!, No! No! No! No! Marv! No! No! No! No!

Kyle

And kind of climb around his body and try to do something. And then the vision goes away and you're back in the room with everyone else.

Tom

Well, Xoc is still screaming.

Hallie

Yeah, as soon as Xoc started screaming, Hop dropped the photo he was holding, first of all, because he was startled. And then he's gonna run over to Xoc and, the spider is inside Xoc, right? Like, it's under his skin?

Kyle

Correct.

Hallie

So, since Hop can't actually see any spiders on him, he's not taking any precautions really. He's just like, I mean, he's not, like, touching Xoc, he's doing that, like, "Oh my God! Is it okay to touch this person?" type thing. But then because Xoc is screaming he's gonna try like... Are you, like on the floor?

Tom

I assume I fell to the floor with that vision.

Hallie

Okay.

Tom

But yeah, Xoc's gonna hold up the arm where the spider is presumably like lumping around. [Distressed garbled noise.]

Hallie

So can I see it under his skin now?

Kyle

Uh... yeah, you can see it bubble in and out.

Hallie

Gross. Um, alright. Hop will say that, he'll say,

Hallie (as Hopper)

Aargh! Gross!

Hallie

Out loud.

Emily

[Laughter.]

Tom

Xoc will give you--will give you a camera look.

All

[Laughter.]

Tom

So, like, quite literally, like will go,

Tom (as Xoc)

Urgh!

All

[Laughter.]

Tom (as Xoc)

Okay?

Hallie

Alright. Hop's gonna:

Hallie (as Hopper)

I'm sorry

Hallie

Um, um, okay, question for Kyle.

Kyle

Yeah?

Hallie

Uh, I have a skill in just, like, random history but I don't suppose Apocrita is something that Hop would have come across in random nerdy history tales?

Kyle

Err, you can try. It depends, how far back of history does Hop care about?

Hallie

He particularly likes ancient history.

Kyle

Okay. Then, no he wouldn't know about it.

Hallie

Then no? Okay. Well, uh, I assume Hop has, like a water canteen of some kind?

Kyle

Yeah.

Hallie

Can I just- Well, I'm gonna offer it to him first, for like this,

Hallie (as Hopper)

Will this help you?

Emily

[Laughter.]

Hallie (as Hopper)

Here's some water.

Tom

Xoc's just like,

Tom (as Xoc)

[Sobbing] Get it out! Get it out! Get it out! We have to get it out!

Hallie

Okay. Okay. And then Hop is gonna look at Misha and Elee and then scream, like,

Hallie (as Hopper)

How do you get spiders out of people?!!

All

[Laughter.]

Emily

Elee is gonna, like, drop to her knees, shove Hop over--

Hallie

[Laughing raspberry noise]

Emily

--Sorry if I spilled your water.

Hallie

That's canon now. That happened. It spilled everywhere.

Kyle and Emily

[Laughter.]

Kyle

Everyone has soggy socks.

Ari

No! [distressed noises] Nooo.

Hallie

[Laughter.]

Tom

Hah.

Hallie

But aren't we wearing shoes?

Kyle

It gets through the shoes. It was a pretty big canteen.

Hallie

Okay. Alright.

Emily

She's gonna grab a hat pin out of her hat.

Emily (as Elee)

I'm so sorry.

Hallie

Hooo...

Emily

And grab his arm.

Tom (as Xoc)

[Wails]

Kyle

Give me a roll to see if you can see the spider.

Emily

I'm not gonna shove it in if I can't the spider, though.

Kyle

Okay.

Tom

Xoc is just whimpering right now.

[Dice rolls]

Kyle

Yeah, you think the spider is, like, right at his elbow.

Tom (as Xoc)

[Whimpering noise]

Emily

[Horrified] Ohh!

Tom (as Xoc)

[Whimpering noises]

Emily (as Elee)

Nod if I can do it. Just nod.

Tom (as Xoc)

Mmm, mmm. mmm, mmm.

Tom

He's nodding. He's nodding.

Emily

He's nodding? I stick--I stick it into his arm.

Kyle

[Disgusted] Give me an attack roll.

Hallie and Emily

[Laughter.]

[Dice rolls]

Emily

[Victoriously] Hooo!

Kyle

Natural twenty. [Slow clapping]

Hallie

Oh!

Kyle

So she does this so great, that you can hear this thing squirm in pain as she digs it into your arm. And you can feel it crunch and squeeze. And the spider is dead. Unfortunately...

Tom (as Xoc)

[Whimpers]

Kyle

...its inside fluids are not.

Ari

Oh my God!

Emily

Oh no!

Kyle

And they spread around, and Xoc, you can feel as this infection spreads across the bloodstream.

Emily

I was trying to like, yank it out of his arm.

Kyle

Oh, I'm sorry!

Emily

No it’s...

Tom

No, it's...

Emily

It's like you stick the hat pin...

Tom

It's too late.

Emily

...and like dig...

Tom

It's happened.

Emily

...it out like a splinter.

Tom

It's happened.

Emily

No! It's like a splinter, Tom!

Tom

No, it's-

Kyle

Elee's having a good day.

Tom

[Resigned] It's too late.

Emily

[Laughter.]

Hallie

Okay, okay, okay! Maybe we should find a doctor.

All

[Laughter.]

Kyle

And with that, can everyone roll perception.

[Dice rolls]

Emily

I'm screwing up everything guys!

[Dice rolls]

Hallie

Five.

Tom

Fifteen.

Ari

Five.

Emily

Nine. Is he at least not in pain anymore?

Kyle

Uh... I mean you stuck a needle into his arm.

Emily and Hallie

[laughter]

Kyle

So he's in a little bit of pain!

Emily

But like, the other pain. The other pain.

Kyle

No, the other pain is gone. Now it's just needle pain.

Tom (as Xoc)

[Whimpering]

Kyle

So that, that's a bonus. [Laughter.]

Tom (as Xoc)

[Whimpering]

Kyle

So-

Emily

I'm gonna like-

Kyle

In your-

Emily

Pat it.

Kyle

In your anguish you see a bo-- [Laughter.] In your anguish Xoc, you see a box on the ground with kind of like tissue paper in it, that's been opened up. And you see a letter on it, a letter kind of opened up.

Tom

Xoc will slowly reach out for that letter, take it out and open it.

Kyle

Okay! And you see this letter and it is, it is written in small caps, so you know when you do like, it's all caps but when the capital letters are drawn bigger than the rest of them? You know what I'm talking about?

Tom

I'm not sure.

Emily

Capital letters are bigger than small letters.

Kyle

It's essentially written in all caps. But you denote upper case and lower case by making the upper case letter also capital but like bigger font.

Tom

Okay. I know. I understand what you mean.

Kyle

Alright. And the letter reads as follows.

[Playful music begins]

Kyle (as Mr. Mako)

Sue! Wonderful to catch up with you again! It's been too long! I'm glad to hear your town is going strong. Not enough people appreciate the delicacy of blood barms. Now, before you hear the rumours and get impassioned, I did take a job with Queen Armalu in Charmonde. But--but!--I think I'm onto something both you and The Professor will want to know about. The wife and I also worked together to give you this pin. If you ever need to reach out to us for any reason do not hesitate to use it. Much love, pal!

Mako

P.S. If you have any battered or bruised residents, keep sending them my way. I get stir crazy without new projects.

[Music fades]

Tom

Wow! I read that in such, such an interesting imagination of his voice. Truly incredible. It's like I can visualize him here saying those words.

Emily

[Laughter.]

Kyle

I'm the voice letter! in Numenara we attach audio to our letters!

Hallie

[Laughter.]

Kyle

Isn't that a crazy technology?

Hallie

Is that a thing now? Did we know what's in the letter? Is it to Xoc?

Tom

Yeah, yeah. Xoc will like tell everybody, like show the letter to everyone.

Hallie

Okay.

Tom

As he's like, tries to stop hyperventilating.

Emily

[Imitating a character from Harry Potter] Look everybody! Xoc's got a howler!

Kyle

[Laughter.]

Hallie

Ha! Uh, Hop's gonna take a big gulp and then go over to Sue's corpse and try to find the pin that she was holding.

Kyle

Alright. You got the pin.

Hallie

Cool. Um, and it's broken, right? Like, the part that would connect to your shirt is?

Kyle

Yeah. It looks like if you look on the back there's- in the center like where a little cylinder rod pin thing would be.

Hallie

Right.

Kyle

And that's broken off.

Hallie

Okay. Is there a way, could I roll like some kind of knowledge check or perception check to be like, "Yes! This is how pins are used to contact people"?

Kyle

Yes. Give me a roll.

[Dice roll]

Hallie

Ten.

Kyle

Why the fuck would someone contact someone with a pin?

Hallie

I don't know!

Kyle

There are so many better methods. Why the fuck would somebody do that? That's stupid!

Tom

Hallie, I don't think it--I don’t think it's tech. I think it's just a pin.

Hallie

Hop is saying something to this effect out loud.

Kyle

That's stupid Mr Mako! That's stupid!

Hallie

It said use the pin to contact me in the letter!

Tom

I think we just need to show it once we arrive in Charmonde.

Emily

[Laughter.]

Hallie

Oh, that makes sense. Alright, let's go there then.

Ari

To be fair, I also thought it was like a magical tech thing.

Hallie

Yeah! This is Numenera. We just made a joke about voice reading letters guys.

Kyle

[Laughter.]

Kyle

Alright. Are we going to Charmonde?

Hallie

Yes please.

Tom

Err, I mean Xoc will--Xoc will say,

Tom (as Xoc)

I suppose I don't have any other choice but to go see this doctor. I don't know of any other specialists who understand things and maybe he has encountered these spiders before.

Hallie

Alright. And then Hop is gonna say,

Hallie (as Hopper)

Alright. Let's take Xoc to <insert location that was just said that I can't remember>.

Tom

But Xoc is actually gonna look surprised when Hopper says that, and says,

Tom (as Xoc)

You're going to come with me?

Hallie

Uh, Hopper then realizes that he kinda spoke for everyone there and then says,

Hallie (as Hopper)

Well I am.

Ari

Misha has been motionless throughout all of this, kind of shocked at everything that's happening, but then finally they are going to approach Xoc and be like,

Ari (as Misha)

Why, of course! Of course I am coming! I have designed you as one of my friend companions and I have to keep monitoring your vital symptoms, make sure that they don't waver along the way.

Kyle

[Voice rising in volume] Awwwww!

Ari

[Laughter.]

Hallie

Yeah. And Hop does like a point at Misha like the way that people do, like... Yep, that.

Kyle

[Laughter.]

Hallie

Like in a chat if you were to put like a caret over someone, something someone said, like, yep.

Emily

Elee's going to scratch her hat, not her head but her hat, sheepishly.

Emily (as Elee)

I...I didn't stick a pin in you just to leave you now. Like, it was pretty gross.

Tom

Xoc is speechless.

Emily

She kinda shrugs.

Emily (as Elee)

Come on.

Tom

Yeah. Xoc will let himself be led out of the room to wherever the party goes from here.

Kyle

Alright. [Singing] Let's all go to Charmonde. Let's all go to Charmonde. Let's all go to Charmonde... To cure Xoc's poisonous wound.

Hallie

[Laughter.]

Kyle

I'm gonna get some water. One second.

Tom

Sure.

Hallie

That was really nice.

Emily

So can I like carry him on my back?

Kyle

You ab-so-fucking-lutly can!

Emily

Can I carry you on my back?

Tom

I, I- Xoc's not gonna fight back. He doesn't have the strength to fight back even if he wanted to.

Emily

[Laughter.] Okay. You’re my backpack now.

[Thoughtful guitar music begins playing]

Kyle

Charmonde is the capital of Navarene, which is the country you're in. It's about a day or two's walk from where you are. The city isn't that far. It's right on the Jeribost River.

Tom

Mmm-hmm.

Kyle

So I'm going to assume, unless you tell me otherwise, that that's how you got there, you essentially walked to the river and then followed it west to the capital city.

Hallie

Yeah. Whatever would be quickest and easiest.

Kyle

Oh, one thing I forgot to tell you. While you were there, you found five pouches of gold with sixteen shins in each of them.

Hallie

Woo!

Tom

Hmm.

Hallie

So, we each get one of those and then-

Tom

That would have been our pay, that's what you're saying.

Ari

Uhh...

Kyle

Yeah. So, er... there were four for you and then one for Bill Turing. So, if you split it evenly you all get twenty shins. That's the money. Shins are money. That's what they are.

Hallie

Oh wait! On the walk to the place. Can I talk to Misha about her kazoo?

Kyle

Yeah.

Hallie

His-

Emily

Their!

Hallie

Their kazoo.

Kyle

Their kazoo.

Hallie

Their kazoo. Their kazoo.

Hallie

Alright. So, like we're walking. Elee's got Xoc on her back. I'm gonna I just gonna sidle up to Misha and be like,

Hallie (as Hopper)

Hey! So, you mentioned back in Obsidian Bay that you've got, um... a... a kazoo was it?

Ari (as Misha)

Uhh...

Hallie

Are we calling it a kazoo?

Ari

Did I call it a kazoo?

Kyle

I think you did. I think you called it a kazoo but I can't remember.

Ari

[Laughter.]

Kyle

I can quote the episode if you want.

Ari

No. I mean... I, I-Yeah, maybe I did. I don't know.

Hallie

No. That's fine. I'm just gonna motion then. The um... the um... the really expensive thing you bought.

Ari

Misha's going to kind of look a little bit... They were deep in thought due to all of the things that happened, so they're going to be a bit surprised at referencing something like that and they're going to look at Hopper and be like,

Ari (as Misha)

Oh! Yes. I... I suppose I did, didn't I? Why are you asking about it?

Hallie (as Hopper)

Can I see it?

Ari (as Misha)

Oh. Um... I will need to warn you that the vendor who gave it to me has told me that it is quite a unique musical instrument that is known to soothe any of the ailments of the diseased. It soothes negative emotions in humans. It seems to be to quite magical. So, it seems to be quite delicate and despite me trusting you, I do not feel comfortable just handing it out to you, but you can certainly see it and I certainly play some melodies. I haven't had really the chance to test it out on an audience that weren't my vendors, who seem to be so enthralled by the music that they ran away really, really fast as I started playing it. I believe it was because it was such a beautiful melody.

Hallie (as Hopper)

[Skeptically.] Yeahhh...

Ari (as Misha)

I suppose this might soothe Xoc's ailments as we get to the town.

Emily

[Laughter.]

Hallie (as Hopper)

No, no. I wouldn't play it. I wouldn't play it for Xoc.

Tom (as Xoc)

Why not? Anything is worth a try. I have seen stranger things.

Ari (as Misha)

Excellent.

Ari

Hang on because I actually do not... Give me like one second. ‘Cause I actually don't-- [Trails off into the distance.]

Tom

Also, for the sake of setting the scene can we say that this is happening that night as we camp?

Hallie

Yeah.

Emily

So you're not on Elee's back?

Tom

Uh... yes and also because I have a bit of role-play I wanted to use to fill in like the travel time.

Ari

[Talking indistinctly in the background, searching for something.]

Kyle

Okay.

Ari

[Turning back to the microphone.] So I was actually referencing a thing that I actually bought for this roleplay. Yes. So are we like sitting in a circle? Like, is this conversation a thing that everybody's hearing?

Tom

I figure this would be around a campfire at night.

Hallie

Yeah. Circle round a campfire.

Ari

Okay. So, okay. So Misha's gonna take out their kazoo and be like,

Ari (as Misha)

This is a warning I have heard that this instrument is quite... It--it exerts quite an impression in humans. I honestly cannot tell the effects of this, since I'm not a human myself. But, I do believe that this might help Xoc who is partially human.

Kyle

Then play it.

Tom

Do it.

Ari

Alright. [Plays an off-tune version of “My Heart Will Go On” the kazoo]

Emily

[Laughter.]

Ari

[Laughter.] [Tries to keep playing through laughter.] I can't do it! It's the Titanic song!

All

[Laughter.]

Kyle

Keep going!

Tom

Keep going!

Ari

[Finishes song.]

All

[Conversation pauses as everyone laughs harder.]

Hallie

Hopper just got--his brim is pulled out a little bit above his eyes and his hand is like--oh my god--like on his forehead, like--Oh, Jesus Christ, how do I explain what is happening right now.

Ari

Misha's gonna keep playing the song unless Misha is stopped.

Emily

[Laughter.]

Hallie

He will let Misha keep playing.

Ari

Okay.

Hallie

He's not gonna be an asshole about it.

Tom

Xoc will watch in rapt attention. No one has ever played him a song before.

Emily and Kyle

Aww!

Ari

After the song is done, Misha is going to look at Xoc and be like,

Ari (as Misha)

So how...how are you feeling now?

Tom

Er... He's going to try to far step to the other side of the campfire. And it'll splutter because of the one step increased difficulty.

Ari

Aww!

Hallie

Sad.

Tom

And he'll say,

Tom (as Xoc)

Well, my head's still foggy, so I'm not certain that it's had any effect on the spider but it was a very wonderful song, and I'm very glad that you played it for me.

Emily

Aww!

Ari

Misha's going to smile and be like,

Ari (as Misha)

Well, I do believe this instrument does work after all.

Hallie

Seeing how happy Misha is right now, Hop is just gonna say,

Hallie (as Hopper)

Since you're so good at finding things, let me know next time you're at a vendor.

Ari (as Misha)

Oh! Certainly! This is the first item that I have ever had the opportunity to purchase and I'm quite lucky about it, since it seemed to be quite unique in its availability.

Hallie (as Hopper)

Well I got the impression it was a first purchase, but you know, if you ever find yourself another vendor come get me; I'll come with you.

Kyle

[Laughter.]

Ari (as Misha)

Oh, I certainly will. By the way, how are you two feeling after this melody that I've heard has such an impact on human beings? Perhaps it didn't have as much on Xoc because he is part machine, as I am.

Hallie

Hop is gonna say,

Hallie (as Hopper)

I feel...nice.

Hallie

And then look at Elee, like, "Play along".

Kyle

[Laughter.]

Emily

You know, it could use a little practice. I bet Hop would love if you played it for him sometimes.

Ari (as Misha)

Oh, well...

Ari

Uh, Misha was like,

Ari (as Misha)

Well, certainly, if seeing how it has such an effect on everybody, I was thinking of perhaps playing soothing melodies before bedtime in order to give us strength for the next day.

Emily (as Elee)

Oh, I'm old and deaf! I don't think you should play it for me.

Hallie

[Laughter.]

Emily (as Elee)

Don't--don’t waste its power on an old lady. I'm gonna die soon anyway.

Ari (as Misha)

Perhaps it will slow down that process. I really don't know how many qualities this has.

Tom

[Laughing in the background.]

Ari (as Misha)

I couldn't find a lot in the databases when I looked at it.

All

[Laughter.]

Ari (as Misha)

It seemed quite unique.

Emily (as Elee)

[Clears throat.] Imagine that!

Tom (as Xoc)

You shouldn't say such things about yourself Elee. You're not--you’re not going to die soon.

Ari

Oh yo.

Emily (as Elee)

[Sputtering on the background]

Tom

And then Xoc-

Emil (as Elee)

Th-thank you.

Tom

Xoc is going to actually say,

Tom (as Xoc)

Well I suppose I should get some sleep.

Tom

And he's going to go a short distance from the fire, like sort of away from everybody else a little bit. And he's going to find, like a suitable rock-or if there's like a piece of scrap metal on the ground nearby-and like set up on that. And then, like, pat down a surface that's mostly flat and then just curl up in a ball like within his robe on top of that and immediately start sleeping, which is also part of an ability of mine that we'll keep in mind for the future called austere, where in because I can be satisfied with such simple beds and food I give a sense of comfort to my companions and everyone except me gets +1 on recovery rolls that take an hour or longer.

Ari

Oh, nice!

Emily

Aww!

Hallie

Aww! Can I note that when Elee was like, "Oh, I'm sure Hop would like to hear more music, but I’m an old lady and would die soon" he was just glaring at her the whole time. He is very upset with Elee right now. There was also like a zoom in on his face.

Emily and Ari

[Laughter.]

Hallie

Like a camera zoom in. He was doing another camera look.

Emily

Elee smirks and goes to offer him the rat as a pillow.

Hallie

Offer Hop the rat?

Emily

Yes.

Hallie

Hopper will hold the other hand and be like,

Hallie (as Hopper)

No, no. You keep your rat. I have a sleeping bag.

Tom

[Laughter.]

Emily (as Elee)

Suit yourself.

Hallie (as Hopper)

It's fine.

Hallie

And then I'm gonna be like,

Hallie (as Hopper)

Well, since Xoc is, you know, trying to sleep now, maybe we should wait to play more music until tomorrow. That sounds like a good plan.

Tom

[Laughter.]

Kyle

Alright. We're all going to sleep?

Tom

Uh, yes.

Hallie and Emily

Yes.

Tom

I'll just say, for the remainder of the journey, however many days it takes, Xoc will attempt to rise as early as he possibly can, like before the sun even comes up sometimes, and will attempt to, like, take a bath in the river even though he doesn't, like, have soap or any other materials to actually clean himself with. And so he can be awake and waiting for everyone when they wake up, to greet them.

Kyle

Give me roll about your baths?

Tom

My what?

Hallie